Inside your Heaven
by troyella17
Summary: Gabriella Montez has her life together. Troy Bolton does not. But with a little faith, these two are thrown into each others worlds and everything changes.
1. Chapter 1: Gabriella

_This is amazing grace, this is unfailing love that You would take my place, that You would bear my cross_

_You lay down Your life, that I would be set free. __Oh, Jesus, I sing for all that you've done for me..._

"Excuse me, is someone sitting there?"

This lady interrupted my grooving to the music as she was trying to slide into the pew I was currently sitting in. "Oh, um, no, no, go ahead..."

I grabbed my purse along with my jacket and put it on the other side of me. I guess my sister can just sit on the end, even though she doesn't really like it. She prefers being deep inside the pew. But Whatever. She should have got here sooner if she wanted a better seat.

She smiled at me and held on to her purse in front of her so it wouldn't hit me when she walked through and as I watched her go on by, I finally realized that there was a younger guy with her, trailing shortly behind.

A really, REALLY hot guy.

He looked at me, no emotion whatsoever in his face or eyes, and then took a seat next to this lady. His mom, I'm assuming. They have the same blue eyes. It definitely looked like he didn't want to be here and I mean, who cares. People get dragged to church all the time by their parents. But this isn't any church. It's my church. My place of worship. And it also doesn't help that my dad is the pastor here. So you know what, I'm a little offended and disappointed.

"Thank you," the lady smiles at me warmly before getting up and singing along to the song that they were playing.

I rose back up and then looked over at the guy to see if he would get up, too. But nope.

Whatever. Not my problem.

The worship team ended their singing and then my mom came out and made some announcements about the church, events going on, and then led everyone in a prayer before my dad came out and started his sermon.

This is what I do every Sunday. Church. Church at 9 am. I pray. I thank God for everything. I ask for forgiveness. I ask for strength. I ask for guidance. I ask for healing. Anything and everything.

This is what I do and this is what I am- a church girl. A pastor's daughter.

And surprisingly, no, I don't rebel. I don't go out and party in secret. I don't sneak out. I don't smoke or drink. And it's all because I don't want to. I have no desire or need for it. I'm not a freak, like most people label church girls, pastor's daughters. No. I go out. I go to parties. And social gatherings. I just don't indulge in anything I'm not comfortable with. And people are fine with that. I'm popular. And I'm a church girl. Go figure.

"Sorry," my sister whispers to me as she moves my coat and places it in my lap before taking a seat next to me, "Michael called as I was heading in here and I had to answer."

"It's fine," I tell her before looking back at my dad.

His message was on point today. It's always on point, actually. Well, for me, anyway.

I think a huge misconception about being a preachers daughter is that we're perfect, we don't break the rules, etc. But we're not. And also, that all our parents do it talk about God. Wrong again. Yes, he is the center of our wold and we pray every single day and thank God every day, but every conversation does not have the word God in it. I yell at my dad like any other girl would. My dad gets frustrated at his daughters and at his wife even and yells when he wants to. Just like a normal guy. Like a guy who works a 9-5 job. My mom gets upset when he leaves his shoes laying anywhere. She yells at us if our rooms are messy. We're not like perfect cookie cutter family. It's all so normal and some people don't get that. I mean, my closest friends get that. People in my life get that. My past boyfriends have gotten it, although it did take some convincing.

I discreetly looked over at the hot guy who looked like he didn't want to be here and it seemed like he was listening, but I'm not sure just how much he was taking in, to be honest.

"Well, that was amazing," Natalie flung her purse over her should and draped her sweater on her arm, "I'm gonna go say hi to dad."

My sister went up to my dad for a minute while I looked down at my phone, going through some texts. I replied to my friends and then put it back in my pocket and was gonna wait for my sister to come back so we can head out together, but the lady next to me stood up and tried to get out my way.

She once again gave me a small smile, turned to her son to say something and then looked back at me, "Sorry, excuse me."

Oh yeah, right. I'm in their way.

I grabbed my things and walked out of the pew and went over to my mom who was in the back of the church. The lady and the guy followed closely behind but when I got to my mom, they went in the opposite direction.

The guy looked over at me for a brief moment and we locked eyes again.

His blue eyes met mine.

And for some reason, I want to know who this guy is, why he's here, and why I haven't seen him before.

* * *

><p>"Do you wanna go grab some sushi or something? I'm starving."<p>

I can't believe he moved on so fast... Like, I know we didn't date for that long, but he told me he loved me. That has to at least make someone wait a month before getting a new girlfriend, right?

And before they become girlfriend and boyfriend, aren't you supposed to date someone for a while? So what? They started seeing each other RIGHT after we broke up? That's not cool. And I know it was mutual, but I feel like he pulled the plug first and now it just makes me wonder if...

"Gabriella!"

Oh, right, right. Um. I turned to Sophie and gave her my undvided attention. "Sorry, what?"

She closed her magazine and threw it on the nightstand by her bed, "What's up with you, are you okay?"

I looked down at my phone at the picture of Thomas and Maya again. I'm kind of hurt because for some reason, I thought our breakup wasn't permanent. Yes, it wasn't really working out at the time, but I thought maybe some space would be good and I thought we were on the same exact page about that, but obviously we aren't since he's off posting pictures with his new girlfriend. Well, she posted it. But same thine, pretty much.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, it's just Thomas. He's dating Maya."

"Maya Thompson? Are you serious?" Sophie's head perked up, "No way."

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows at her. Why does she seemed so surprised by the whole thing? Or shocked?

She shook her forehead and chuckled a bit before getting off her bed and going to open her window. It was a hot day in Orange County. "No, nothing, it's just I had her in my art class last year and I remember she asked me once what you saw in Thomas so this is kind of shocking because it seemed like she didn't think very highly of him."

Yeah, Maya strikes me as someone who wouldn't go for Thomas, but I guess she did. "I don't know, I'm not mad, maybe just a little upset that it seems so soon, you know? I thought maybe that, I don't know..."

"No, yeah, I thought the same thing," she agreed with whatever I was going to say, "for some reason, I still feel like you guys will get back together."

"I don't think I want to anymore," I shrug, even though I still have feelings. They're still there. It's a fresh breakup. "I mean, this is kind of disrespectful, isn't it? It's one thing to start dating someone, but to post pictures knowing very well the ex girlfriend would see it? Well, yeah, that's not cool."

"Oh totally," Sophie nodded as she went to her dresser, "you're better off, anyway."

Who knows. All I know is that it's senior year and I do want to have fun. And not saying you can't with a boyfriend, but if you don't have a boyfriend, you can spend all the time in the world with your friends.

And I have the worlds greatest friends. Seriously. The best of the best.

Maybe I am better off. Maybe not. Who knows. God knows. And He has a plan for me that I don't even know yet.

It might be getting back with Thomas in the future or it might not be. Who knows. Not me.

But I don't have time to worry about that right now. "Seriously, can we finish our homework so we can go grab something to eat? I'm starving. Are you craving anything?"

Sophie looks over at me and looks mad all of a sudden.

"What?!"

"What? I asked if you wanted to grab sushi!"

Oh crap, she did? Probably when I was busy stalking Thomas. "Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, sushi sounds great!"

She shook her head and let out a laugh before she grabbed her notebook and opened it up to some notes for math. "I have a few more problems, I did some this morning." She grabbed her textbook and opened it to the correct page and then turned to me, "oh how was church this morning? I kinda slept in."

I figured she did since she had a big party for her grandma's birthday the night before. "Oh, it was fine. My dad did pretty great."

"Yeah? I'm bummed I missed it. Definitely next week, though."

Sophie went back to doing her homework and I kind of just stared off into space for a bit.

I couldn't help, but think of that boy from church this morning. He looked lost. He looked mad. He looked hurt. But most of all he looked... hot. Ha. I know, you probably didn't expect me to say that, but I told ya, I'm just like a normal 17 year old girl.

And he was super hot.

But I've never seen him there before and I kind of just wanted to know what his deal was. Why he looked upset.

Whatever, I had homework that needed to be done.


	2. Chapter 2: Troy

I wasn't dangerous.

Unless you count that one time I punched Luke Hayward a couple months ago.

But I had a perfectly good reason. He slept with my girlfriend. And almost got me suspended from school. So you know what? I didn't regret it one bit. He deserved it. My mom didn't see it like that, though. And neither did my dad. But whatever, I didn't even care at that point. My life was shit anyway.

"Do you want to grab some food or something?" my mom asks as she leaves the church parking lot after bringing me here in hopes I'd zen out a bit, "thank you for coming. It wasn't all that bad, was it?"

It wasn't. But I'm not going to tell her that because well, it's exactly what she wants.

So I just stayed quiet and looked out the window as she drove.

My mom's the number one person in my life. She knows that. And I never want to make her sad or make her feel like she's failed as a parent, but life was just tough right now and the things I did were not because of her (well, a little bit) and it hurts to see her like this. Like she's so disappointed in me.

A couple of mishaps here and there. Nothing life-threatening, but still. I admit it, I was selfish, I was dumb and I didn't think about anyone but myself.

But if I'm being honest, it maybe is sort of her fault. And my dad's. We had the perfect family. Mom, dad, me and my sister. Perfect.

Until they decided to divorce a year and a half ago.

And now I'm stuck here living in Orange County, the town I grew up in, with just my mom while my sister is off in college. I have no one to turn to physically who will understand exactly what I'm going through.

After the divorce, it just went downhill from there. I started going out a lot, I drank, I hooked up A LOT. I was never home. My grades were slipping. And my mom and dad were worried. But they couldn't really do anything about it- nothing I was doing was illegal. Well, except for the drinking, but whatever. I never drank and drove. It was just a whole lot of partying with people who were never really my friends. Not the ones I had since elementary school.

Halfway through junior year, it got a little bit easier and I slowed down a bit. My grades were way better, I didn't go out as much, but the pain of coming from a broken family was still there, for sure. It sucks not being able to spend time with both your parents at the same time.

I met Kenzie Stevens over winter break.

Who gave me a reason to be better. She was beautiful, she was a go-getter and I thought she was everything I was looking for in a girl.

Until she slept with Luke Hayward, of course.

And I had to find out about it on our 5 month anniversary.

So I punched him. I punched him hard. And he tried to press charges, but he hit me, too, so it didn't really work out in his favor. But what he did try to do is plant some weed in my backpack so I'd get suspended. But I ended up getting out of that, scot-free, much to his disappointment.

"Are you sure you don't want something to eat?" my mom asks me again as we're five minutes from home, "there's In N Out, I know you love that."

"Okay, sure," I nod.

Anyway, it's my senior year now and I'm still angry at so many things, but I'm a little better.

My mom wanted to send me to Arizona to live with my aunt to maybe get a fresh start for my senior year and so I can just move froward, but no way. I was not going to start senior year at a school I know no one at. No. My friends were all here, the ones who stuck by me through everything. I didn't want to leave. So she made me a deal that wasn't all that bad if you really think about it.

Church every Sunday with her at 9 am.

Even if I was hungover, tired as hell and grumpy.

I'd have to be there or she'd send me on the next flight to Arizona. And I sure as hell do not want to be there. Arizona? Really? It's hot and gross and I know absolutely no one except my cousins and some of their friends, but still. No. Orange County is where I grew up. Laguna Beach is my home.

So I'm going to church.

My mom thinks if I just center everything and let God, Jesus Christ into my life that I'd feel so much better about everything.

I mean, I believe in God. I think there is a higher power, but I don't know about changing my life completely.

Why can't I just change my life? I know I can be capable of that and I think I'm doing better. I'm not as angry about the divorce anymore, I've slightly accepted that Samantha is off in Santa Barbara going to college and that Kenzie and I aren't getting back together.

I'm not in denial about everything. But yes, I'm still sort of angry. I don't know how that's going to change, if it will, but we'll see.

My life is just a mess right now.

And I wish more than anything that it can just go back to the way it was two years ago when my mom and dad seemed as happy as can be. My sister was living across the hall from me. My best friends and I would play basketball at the park all the time. And girls didn't matter as much to me.

Those were the days.

And now everything's completely different.

* * *

><p>"Coach said that you can still try out for the team if you wanted to."<p>

I looked up from dipping some fries in ranch at my best friend, Jason, sitting across from me at Jack in the Box. "I don't know, man."

Jason sighed as he picked up his drink, "come on, man. You're the best player there is. I know your life isn't how you imagined it to me, but turn it around. Forget about Kenzie. Coach is giving you a second chance, it's your time to redeem yourself and show everyone that you're capable of this."

He has a point. I was on the team. I made varsity my freshman year. And last year, when I'd miss practices, or show up angry and upset and take it out on everyone, he had enough and let me go.

It was hard, but it was another reason to add to why my life was shit. I was angry at that, too.

Even though I know I did it to myself, I was angry.

And now he's giving me another chance since I have calmed down a bit. I have shown an effort in wanting to be in school. But I don't know. I don't want to let the team down again. I don't want to cause scenes again. I want to be one hundred percent there and I'm not sure if I can be.

"Well, season doesn't start until next semester, so there's still time," Jason pointed out, "I think he said he'd give you a couple of weeks to decide."

"I'm just not sure if I'm into it anymore," I tell him, "I love the game, I think I always will, but I don't know."

"Don't give me that."

I lived and breathed basketball. Freshman and sophomore year, I couldn't get enough. Basketball at the park whenever we didn't have practice. I'd show up pumped to every single game. Basketball was my life. School and basketball. I wanted to go all the way with basketball- the NBA. It was a dream of mine.

And now, I'm not so sure about that.

As silly as it sounds, my parents divorced taught me to never believe in anything and that nothing lasts forever.

I always looked at my parents as the perfect couple. Truly and honestly. They were my inspiration for anything and everything. So when they divorced, my world shattered. My hopes and dreams. And everything I thought existed- something worth dreaming and wishing about.

But nope.

So now I don't plan for anything. I planned for my parents to be together forever and that didn't happen.

"Dude, trust me, I know what it's like to come from divorced parents, but it's not the end of the world and it will get better. It will."

His parents divorced when he was 5 so he didn't really experience it like me. I was 15 years old. I was well aware of what was happening. I was already too invested in their relationship. I lived their relationship. I was in it. And it was gone like that. 17 years thrown away. My mom moving out, a town over. My dad having this big house to himself. It sucked. And my life sucked.

And maybe it will get better. But for now, it's not that easy to just think it.

But I'll humor him for a moment. "Yeah, maybe it will be a good idea to try out. I'll talk to my parents about it."

Separately, of course.

Because they're divorced. Fuck my life.


	3. Chapter 3: Gabriella

"If you're not going to finish that, hand it over to me."

My sister laughed and right away pushed her plate towards me so I could grab the rest of her enchiladas.

I threw them on my plate and sprinkled some salsa on them before cutting them up into pieces and throwing it in my mouth. "So good."

"Oh," Natalie sort of jumped in her seat, digging into her purse and pulling her planner out, "your birthday is coming up! It's the big 1-8. We have to start planning. Do you want a big or small one? Big, right? Invite the whole school or like half the school and some other friends and family? Or no family? We can do a small family party separately. I think Sophie said you could use her house for the party if you'd like. I already talked to her."

Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold on a minute. I'm chowing down on some enchiladas, does she really expect me to answer all these questions right now?

I finished chewing and then washed it down with my soda before finally giving her some answers. "Nat, wait, this is all so much right now. I literally have not even thought about my birthday party."

"I know!" she pretty much exclaims in this crowded restaurant, "I mean, I know. And that's why we have to get to planning it. Sophie asked me if I was doing anything for you or what were had planned so I was like oh, crap. Got to get started."

"It's, like, two months away."

"And it's going to be here before you know it!"

Yeah, I guess she's right. And it is my 18th. I do want a big party. A party that will most likely involve alcohol and all that. And even though I don't personally partake, it doesn't mean that other people don't. I don't even want to be that girl that judges or makes people not have fun if that's what they want to do.

So I thought about it for a minute as I finished these enchiladas.

"I mean, I guess we could do it at Sophie's's if she offered," I shrug, "not only is she my best friend, she also does have the biggest party house in Newport, so why not? It'll be fun."

Natalie smiled and jotted some things down in her planner. Ha. She carries a planner everywhere. "Who do you want there? We need to mail these out soon."

Oh, right. The invitations. "Umm, I don't know, all my closest friends. People form my school. I guess I'll make a list tonight or something."

"Yes," she nods without even looking up at me, "it's your 18th birthday, we're going big just like we did with mine. You're going to have all sorts of fun things for people to do. Let's rent a photo booth or something, yeah?"

A photo booth? Doesn't that seem a bit too excessive? "Really, Nat?"

She nods, "Yes! They're all the rage right now. Kim Kardashian has it at like every party and it's SO cool. Memories that'll last a lifetime. How cool."

If she insists.

"I don't want it to be too crazy. More of a birthday party than a house party, you know?"

"Oh, I know," Natalie jots some more things down and I trust her. She's a very good older sister. Like one of the best. "I'll take care of everything, I know what you like. I'll just run SOME things by you. But other than that, all you really have to do is show up and have a blast."

Well, I mean, okay, why not? "Sounds good."

And now I'm actually kind of excited about this party. You only turn 18 once. And it's a pretty big deal. So yes, I'm completely on board with this party now.

At least for now, I am.

* * *

><p>"Where do you wanna go to breakfast? Any suggestions?" my mom asks as we're walking into church on Sunday.<p>

Breakfast? She's thinking about that right now? Well, I guess we have to think about it since we're so indecisive that once church is over and we all throw out ideas, we probably won't decide on a place until noon and then it'll be lunch.

Hmm, what am I craving? Some eggs benedict. "Park Ave Cafe?"

My mom's ears perked up. "Hmm, I haven't had that in a while. Yeah, that sounds good."

Lol okay.

We walked to our usual pew and took a seat as we waited for my sister. She lives at home still while she's going to college at UC Irvine, but she went to pick up her boyfriend since his car's in the shop.

"Natalie and Matt seem happy, huh?" My mom leans in and tells me.

We're earlyish so we have time to talk, I guess. But I just don't understand why she's bringing THIS up. "I mean, yeah, they just celebrated their one year anniversary, I'd hope they were happy. Why? Why are you asking me this?"

She shakes her head and looks forward at the worship team setting up to perform. "No, no, I'm just saying. I'm glad she's found someone as great as Matt."

Ohhhh okay. I know what she's getting at. She wants me to have a boyfriend and she wants me to have one right now.

Ha. See. We're normal.

My mother's a pastor's wife but that doesn't mean her little girl can't date. And even though I broke up with Thomas not that long ago, she wants me to have a boyfriend because that's who she is. A woman who loves love and she just wants to see her two daughters happy. And nothing's wrong with that.

But I don't want a boyfriend. I don't think.

Well, maybe since I am a relationship girl, but it's not something I'm fawning over or losing sleep over.

If it happens, it happens. "Mom, I'm fine. Thomas and I haven't even been broken up for that long and you already want me to have a boyfriend?"

"No, no," she shakes her head before chuckling a little bit, "well, maybe not a boyfriend, but my friend Susan, her son, he's a wonderful guy. He's a year older, he goes to UC Irvine so it's close and his father's a pastor, too. I think it'll be perfect. Same world. I think you guys will hit if off immediately."

I LOVE being a pastor's daughter, but I don't think I could date a pastor's son. Too much.

It's just, I don't know. too much pressure. And you think it'd work out because you do have that in common, but no. I don't know exactly since I've never dated a pastor's son, but I can just imagine it won't be as easy as people think.

So how do I let her down easily? "Mom, I'm good. I'll think about it, though, and I'll let you know, but don't get your hopes up."

"Fine," she sighs and is about to say something else until a lady interrupts asking if she could sit down.

It's the same lady as last week and behind her again is the same boy. The really hot one with the really blue eyes. Ahhh, they're back. And I'm suddenly really interested in them.

Like, who are they? Why am I just seeing them now? And what's his deal, why does he seem so mad to be here?

"Oh of course," my mom scoots down a bit, "yeah, sit. Anyone's welcomed here."

Yep, that's my mom. Moving over for anyone.

The lady sits down and smiles and then her son, I'm still guessing since they have the same bright blue eyes, takes a seat next to her and looks straight ahead not making eye contact with any of us, which is alright I guess. I don't typically talk to strangers, either.

"Your husbands the pastor, right?" the lady asks my mom.

My mom's ears perk up and she smiles as she turns to her, "Yes, David. He's my husband and this is my daughter, Gabriella," she moves back a little so she could see me, "And I'm Karen."

The lady smiles at me and then at my mom, "nice to meet you guys. I've been coming for a little while now, sitting in the back, but it's about time I sit in the front. The message is always too good not to."

My mom chuckles a bit and thanks her and then asks for her name, which she forgot to give us.

"Oh," she seems a bit embarrassed, "I'm Kathy and this is my son, Troy."

Troy.

I've never heard the name Troy before.

Unless you count that movie, but I don't because I didn't really like the movie. But that's beside the point...

"Well, I'm so happy you've guys decided to come to this church," my mom starts engaging in a conversation with her and before I know it, they're full on talking and I'm sitting here on my phone waiting for church to start. Typical Karen Montez.

She talks to anyone and everyone and it's not a bad thing.

But it is if she's with me and I wanted to talk to her about a few things... including my birthday party.

I looked over at Troy and he was looking straight ahead and I couldn't really see his whole face because his mom was sort of blocking him, but I can still tell how attractive he is. He's so attractive that it's not fair. And he looks sort of familiar, but I can't really place him. Does he go to my school?

Hmm. Whatever. I didn't have time to think about it.

"Sorry, sorry," my sister announces as she slides into the pew with Matt and takes a seat next to me, "we stopped by for some coffee."

Figured. "Thanks for getting me some."

She laughed and got situated in her seat, putting her purse on the ground, "Sorry."

"I told you, babe," Matt tells her leaning forward so he could see my face, "I told her to get you guys some but she said she didn't have enough cash right now and that we were in a hurry and she didn't want to use her card."

"Wow, you're the sweetest."

"Matt!" she jokingly yells at him, "stop ratting me out."

I looked over at my mom and Kathy and they were still talking, but this time, Troy was staring back at me and our eyes met for the first time today.

God, his were so blue and so mesmerizing. I could seriously stare at them all day long if I had the chance.

Again, no emotion whatsoever, though.

He looked away just as the worship team were getting ready to start singing.

Who is this guy? Honestly.


	4. Chapter 4: Troy

Gabriella's her name, right? I think so. Something with a G. I wasn't paying too close attention to the introductions.

But I do remember her from last time.

And this time, she looks even better than before.

She is so beautiful. Like, so beautiful that it's intimidating. And I honestly don't know how to act. I don't think I've ever smiled at her whenever our eyes met, and I'm blaming that on nerves and not knowing what the hell to do. Because she is seriously one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen.

You know how a girl can be cute, but she's not necessarily hot? Or pretty. And then there are some girls who are just hot and not pretty or beautiful?

Well, this girl is all of those.

Mostly beautiful, though, that's for sure.

And typically, well if this was my junior year and I was acting out, not being my normal self, I'd already be asking her for her phone number and she would be rejecting me right about now because of how forward I was and because she's out of my league.

I've always been a fairly shy guy when it came to women.

But junior year when I'd hang out with certain people who girls would flock to, I don't know what really happened, but I was just... confident.

I'd go to parties, hook up with girls, get their numbers, take them out. Never call them again. Or call them again, but break it off eventually. And that's what happened until Kenzie entered my life and she just changed me... for the better.

It doesn't matter, though. I'm done dating. Well, for the remainder of high school, that's for sure. Because high school girls suck.

"Do you have ones I can give to the offering?" my mother leans in and whispers before the worship team starts playing.

"I don't think so," I take out my wallet and open it to confirm what I already know, "I only have a 10."

My mom sighed and shook her head, "it's okay."

If there's one thing to love about Katherine Marie Bolton, it's that shes a very generous lady. She didn't have all that much growing up, so when she became a successful lawyer, the first thing on her mind was giving back. Making sure people are taken care of. And that's why I love her so damn much.

And no matter how crazy I can get, angry, annoyed, depressed, I never forget what she's instilled in me. "Here," I hand it to her, "take it."

She gave me a smile, "thank you."

I'm not a bad person. At least, I don't think I am. I'm just... lost. Hurt. Upset. Mad.

And that's completely normal, right? Yeah. But my family has just never experienced it. I've never been that guy. I've always been sort of on the shy side, but out-going at the same time. Always been respectful and kind to others. Still am. Unless you sleep with my girlfriend. The typical all-American boy. But when that started to go downhill, of course my parents worried. This wasn't like me. And it's not me. I know it's just a phase.

Or maybe not. Who knows. I really don't. But I'm fine.

Every day gets a little better even if I'm still angry as hell. Even if I still want to punch walls out of frustration.

As I'm putting my wallet back in my pocket, I glance over to the family sitting next to us and I catch a glimpse of the daughter again. Gabriella. She's putting her hair up in a bun and I'm so mesmerized.

I don't think I've ever been taken aback by how beautiful a girl has been.

But I shake off the feeling and look back to the front of the church. There's no way anything will ever happen. She's a preacher's daughter. And I'm, well, I'm a mess and there's no way she'd ever find me to be a catch. I was once, though. I promise you I was. But you know, things change...

Oh well.

* * *

><p>"Are you going out?"<p>

I put my phone in my pocket and nod, "Yeah, to Tony's."

My mom gives me a small smile as she continues folding the towels in the living room, "what time do you think you'll be home? It is a school night."

"I don't know, mom," I sound annoyed, but I'm not annoyed with her. I guess I'm just annoyed with the questions. I answer this way to my father, too. And yeah, maybe I am annoyed with them, but I don't want to be, necessarily. I just am.

And it's for obvious reasons.

My mom stacked a couple of towels on top of each other and then looked up at me, "Please don't drink."

"Mom," I sigh, "let's not talk about this."

"No," she shakes her head, "we have to. I know I can't ground you because you'll just sneak out anyway so I'm trying to just let you make your own decisions but I worry about you. You're my only son. The love of my life and I just want you to be healthy and happy."

I hated these conversations. They would happen every so often and they'd get in my head and I'd stop whatever I was doing, but then I'd go right back to what I was planning on doing. And I feel bad about it. I do.

But at the same time, I'm almost 18 and yeah, I need to make my own decisions.

"At least I'm not doing any type of drug or smoking," I try to lighten it up a bit, "that's gotta make you somewhat happy, right?"

"Troy, I'm just so sick of this. What happened to my son who would come home and not lock himself in his room and have dinner by himself or would only go out on the weekends with his friends to a movie or to grab some pizza instead of some party where you come home drunk and all over the place?"

Shit. We're going there. Whether I like it or not.

And I really don't want to regret anything I say to her, so I try to choose my words carefully. "Who else would I have dinner with? You? While you're up to your knees in documents? Or dad, who's a town over probably heating up some disgusting frozen pizza."

"That's not fair," her eyes start to water, "we never wanted to get divorced. It just happens, okay? We didn't plan it."

"Yeah, but you could have fought harder!" I raise my voice, "I'm in my room to avoid this. To avoid this fucked up situation that is called my life! My family is broken, my girlfriend fucking cheated on me and the one person in my life who could get me through anything and everything moved away. So excuse me if I'm not the same Troy as I've always been, but things change, okay?"

A single tear fell from my mom's eye and she caught it immediately, wiping it away.

I felt bad.

And sad. But honestly, what can I do?

Going out makes me forget about everything. Drinking is fun and when I'm having fun, I forget all the un-fun things in my life. And sure, I'm not as close to my parents anymore, but it's not entirely my fault. They're both always working all the time.

"I know this is hard," she sits down, "I know it is. And I'm not telling you to act like it's not, but acting out is not going to heal you. Ask your sister."

"Sam and I are different," I tell her, "how she chooses to deal with it is how she chooses to deal with it."

"No, yes, of course, I just..."

I shake my head and cut her off, "This past year has been hell for me, mom. Sam and I have different lives. Don't try to compare them and don't try to tell me how to heal. I'll heal when I'm good and ready, but for now, I'm going out."

And with that, I turned around and walked out the door.

I'm not proud of it. I'm sure she's in there crying right now and that kills me. But I just couldn't take the conversation anymore.

My life. My rules.


	5. Chapter 5: Gabriella

"So I saw you talking to that lady after church," I ask my mom later on that day as she's cleaning the kitchen.

"Oh, Kathy?" she asks without looking up from sweeping the floor, "yes, she's lovely."

I don't know why I'm so interested. Maybe because I see the same people all the time in church and now, I'm seeing them. They're new. And the son is so hot. But not only hot, he looks mysterious. Like, something's wrong. Or I don't know. And it's making me so curious to know what they're all about.

And today after church, my mom and Kathy started talking and when I walked away from them, I spent a good 20 minutes talking to some family friends. So it was a little surprising to see them still together when I came back.

The guy was gone, but Kathy was still there.

And I kind of want to know everything about it. "Oh, is she? I've seen her a couple of times now. Is she new to the area?"

My mom swept up the dust and trash into the duster and then walked over to the trash can and pulled it out, "No, she's lived in Orange County for a while, but she is fairly new to the church. 4 months or so, but like she said, she usually just hung out in the back."

"Oh." Just ask, Gabriella. "What were you guys talking about?"

"What?" my mom turned to me before putting the broom in the corner and coming back to the counters, "just stuff. Getting to know her."

"What kind of stuff?"

I'm so not discreet, but who cares.

My mom looked up from spraying some 409 and stopped for a second, "Why are you so interested? I'm meeting people constantly through the church and you've never asked about them before, have you?"

Oh crap. Ummm. "No, I mean, sometimes. I just, she sat next to me last week so I don't know."

"You find her son attractive, don't you," she smirks at me, "I know you do."

"What?" Nope. I'm caught. And I'm not going to be able to lie myself out of this one. But it's so much more than just finding him attractive. I find him to be mysterious which kind of translates t interesting... "I mean, he's a good looking guy, but you know what? Whatever."

My mom laughed as she grabbed her cloth and started wiping down the counters, "Gabriella, it's fine if you do, he is an attractive guy. His name's Troy."

Yeah, I remember his name. How could I not?

"He goes to Laguna Beach high and he's your age. And that's about all I know of him."

"No, I was just sort of wondering because he doesn't seem like he wants to be at church at all so I don't know, kind of wanted to know his story a bit, but it's nothing major," I explain to her, "you used to drag me to church when I was like 7 and I wasn't particularly fond of it back then."

"He's a teenage boy and it's 9 am," she tells me, "it's normal."

I don't know, but I could just sense there was something else going on. I can just feel it, as crazy as that sounds.

But I let it go. "Yeah, you're right."

My mom finished cleaning the counters, along with the stove, mopping the floor and washing the dishes all while I sat here and finished my Spanish and Calculus homework. Weekend homework sucks, but that's what being a senior is all about I guess.

"Bradley Fisher asked me out on Friday," I tell my mom who's in the fridge grabbing some fruit to cut up.

"He's a nice boy, right?" she comes towards me carrying some strawberries, half a watermelon, some honeydew and a melon. "Did you say yes?"

I nod, "I did, but I'm not sure. He wants to go grab some dinner tonight."

My mom grabbed a knife and came back and stood across from me as she put the watermelon on top of a cutting board, "you should go. His mom is a sweet lady and I know they're a nice family. He's cute, too, if I remember correctly. Right?"

"No, yeah, he's cute," I nod, "but I didn't feel excited when he asked and don't you think I should I mean, I felt nothing."

"Maybe, but if one doesn't really know the guy or there hasn't been all that flirting back and forth, I don't think one would," she tells me and it makes sense, "you should go. It's just dinner."

Yeah, she's right. I should go. Thomas is moving on so maybe I should, too.

* * *

><p>"What's your favorite food?" Brad asks me later on that night.<p>

My favorite food? Hmm. I have to think about this because I am a foodie. "Maybe nachos. Or shrimp. I can eat shrimp all day long."

He made a face of disgust, "Shrimp? Gross. I hate anything seafood. The thought of it coming from the ocean just creeps me out. And grosses me out, too."

"Well, I like it," I tell him before I take a sip of my raspberry iced tea, "it's so good."

So far this date is eh. I mean, Brad is good looking. He's smart. He's on the swim team. He has a great group of friends so that's an indicator that he's a nice person and easy to get along with but I don't know. I just feel like he's missing something and I don't know what it is.

But hopefully I'll find out tonight.

He grabs an egg roll from the middle of the table and takes a bite, "So where are you applying to for next year?"

"I'm keeping my options open," I grab one too, "so a few schools on the East coast- Brown, NYU, and then UC Irvine, UC Santa Barbara, UCLA, Davis, USC, probably Berkeley."

"Wow," he chuckles, "well I'm sure you'll get into most of them, you're a smart girl."

It's nice. It's a nice compliment, but oh my gosh. I just want something more. I need something more for this date to go well.

I ask him about where he wants to go and he's set on Columbia in New York City, and I'm sure he'll get in. He has money, he's smart, he does extracurricular activities, so I'm sure he won't have a problem getting in at all.

"So, how was church today?" he changes the subject.

"Oh, it was fine," I shrug, "what church do you go to again?"

"Harbor Christian," he answers before taking a sip of his coke, "yeah, I've been to your dad's church and I really like it, I should head back over there soon."

If he wants to. I'm not going to tell him yes or not. But maybe that's what he's looking for. For me to say, yeah, you should totally come on over. I'll save you a seat. But nah. "I've been there a couple of times, Pastor Rudy is so nice."

Brad smiles, "He is. He's great."

Before I could say anything else, the waitress comes with our food. Thank God. The conversation was a bit dull. It has been from the beginning, actually.

So the fact that our food is here is exciting.

We're at PF Changs, one of my favorite places ever, and I'm seriously so excited to dig in.

I haven't been here in so long so when he asked if I had anything in mind, this didn't come to mind, but he threw it out there and here we are. I'm so glad because I love Chinese food. And there's a really good ice cream place near by that I have to go to after this is over.

"Did you cut your hair?"

"What?" I looked up at Brad and then actually heard what he said, "Oh, yeah, I did, actually. Just a couple of inches, though."

"Yeah, I noticed," he smiled before grabbing some more food off his plate, "it looks nice. I like it."

He's paid me so many freaking compliments tonight that it's exhausting. It's seriously so exhausting and I know right now that there won't be another date. This isn't Brad. I don't know him that well, but I do know what people have told me. What I've seen. He's smart and put together and handsome and all that, but he's also kind of out there, out-going and cracks jokes left and right. Sophie told me this before going out tonight. He's in her Lit class and he sits behind her and he's always cracking jokes and stuff. And right now, he's cool, calm and collected and it's a little frustrating and kind of annoying.

This isn't new to me. In fact, I've experienced it a few times before.

I know Brad is being the way he is not because he wants to impress Gabriella Montez, but because he wants to impress Gabriella Montez, pastor's daughter.

And to be honest, it's a lot annoying.

These guys think that they have to be one way for me to like them or something. That they have to act a certain way because I'm a pastor's daughter, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just want them to be their normal selves.

I know for a fact Brad cusses. I slip occasionally, but I quickly turn it off. I've heard Brad cuss. In the hall at school. Countless times.

And today when he dropped his phone in the parking lot, I know he was about to say fuck, but he quickly stopped himself and just picked it up and continued going about his business.

That is what frustrates me. That they think I'm going to call the date off because they cuss. No. I'm not that crazy.

I'm also not a judgmental person. Well, by nature, a little bit, but I really try not to be. To each their own.

I don't know. I just want guys to just lay it all out there, to not have to pretend to be a certain way to impress me. Yes, I'm a pastor's daughter, but I'm also a girl and I can see past their bull. I know they're just trying to butter me up. And it's the most annoying thing in the whole world.

"How's your sister doing in college?" he asks me, "is she living at home?"

"Yeah, she is. It's close so it doesn't make sense for her to live in the dorms, but yeah, she likes it. She likes it better than high school, for sure."

"I bet," he smiles, "I can't wait to get out of here."

It's whatever for me. If I get out, I get out. If not, I don't care. I love Newport. It's my home. And always will be.

The rest of the dinner is whatever. Honestly, conversation is not bad, but I just don't see it going anyway. It feels too contrived. Maybe he's nervous, or maybe he's not being his complete self on purpose, I don't know.

But I do know that I'm not God. I'm not Jesus Christ. They don't need to impress me the way they go on about impressing me. It feels forced. It feels fake and I'm just so over it. I want someone who's one hundred percent real with me. Who is one hundred percent themselves and aren't holding back because I'm a pastor's daughter and they fear I'm not good enough for them or I'll call them out on something they do. No. It's totally not like that at all.

And I'm still waiting for that person.


	6. Chapter 6: Troy

The one thing I'm eternally grateful for?

My brains.

I know in life, it doesn't really seem like I have one, but in school, I do. I just get it. I don't need to study for anything, ever. It just comes naturally to me. And if I wasn't naturally smart, I'd be getting d's and f's for sure, but since I am, I'm able to keep up. Without even trying, I manage to get A's and B's, but yeah, I'm not getting straight A's like I did the first half of high school which sucks. But at least I'm not getting anything below a C.

But I still hate school. I hate being confined to a room for an hour to learn about certain things that I won't ever need to use again in my entire life.

Which is why I'm glad school's over for the day and I'm grabbing lunch with some buddies of mine.

"Dude, I get heard Rebecca Miller totally wants you," Chase tells me as we're grabbing a table at Wahoo's Fish Tacos outside.

"Wait, what?"

I heard him, but doesn't she have a boyfriend?

We all get situated around the table and Chase proceeds to tell me again, "she told Shannon who told me today."

Rebecca Miller is good looking, but she's one of those girls that constantly has to be the center of attention. Acting drunker than she is, talking in an annoying baby voice sometimes and constantly being over the top. I don't know, she's just kind of... annoying. So yeah, flattering, but no thank you.

"Wait, doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

"Nah, they broke up like two weeks ago, I think," Chase tells me, grabbing his soda.

Still. Two weeks? He didn't go to our school, but I think they were together for a little over a year or something like that.

Brent leaned forward in his chair and looked me straight in the eyes, "Dude, she might be annoying, but she's hot. Go for it."

The only one not saying anything was Jason. Who was my best friend in the world. Chase and Brent were good friends, but they're not the friends you tell everything to, ya know? Who know you inside and out. And that's what Jason is to me. He knows what kind of girls I'm attracted to and she's not one.

"Eh, I'm good," I shrug it off.

Chase looked confused, "What the hell, dude, I know Kenzie screwed you over, but don't be such a girl about the whole thing. Let it go and go out with her."

I'm not being a girl, I'm just seriously not interested in hooking up with girls just because. I'm over that. And I can already tell that Rebecca would be a one date kind of girl. I know I'm not going to want to take her out again.

"Nah, it's just, I'm not interested. I know it's not gonna go anywhere," I explain to them.

Jason gets it, though, "Who cares. It's senior year. Let him be girl free and worry about all that shit in college."

Brent shook his head, "it's just, it's Rebecca Miller. Do you know how many guys would kill to be in your position? I mean, not me because I'm crazy about Nicole, but if I wasn't, then yeah, I'd be first in line."

"She is sort of annoying, but you got to admit she's hot," Chase chimes in.

Yes, she's hot. And popular. And the life of the party. But there should be more to girls than that. I want someone who's smart, who's going somewhere in life and doesn't care about the next party. Even if I sort of do right now. I might be a hypocrite, but who cares. I just want someone... real.

Jason ended the conversation with talking about basketball. Something I couldn't partake in since I wasn't on the team anymore.

So I just sat there and looked around.

It was a beautiful day in Laguna and I love it here. It's close to Newport but different. It's small and quaint. A sleepy beach town. When my mom moved out, she chose Newport because it was close and that's where she grew up, but there was no way I was leaving my high school. So, I stay with my dad during the week. Lately, though, I've been going to Newport during the week and spending the night and I'd just drive to school in the morning. It wasn't far.

And this was home. This is where I grew up. I wasn't leaving.

I stopped daydreaming and came back into the conversation with the guys, but they were still talking about basketball, so once again, I looked around.

And that's when I saw her... the girl from church.

Who was beautiful and tan and had long dark hair and a smile that could light up any room.

I'm not being creepy, I'm literally staring and that's exactly how she looks like right now. She's smiling from ear to ear at something her friend said and in turn, it's making me smile.

Okay, maybe that's creepy, but I just can't help it right now.

Seriously, what are the chances that this is happening? But they do say that once you see someone, you start seeing them everywhere, so I guess it's not that weird. And I'm trying so hard not to stare, but it's, well, hard. Most of the girls in this town are tall, skinny and blonde. Blue eyes. So generic.

Not this girl.

And that's what's intriguing about her.

She's different. Well, in her outer appearance. She's petite, kind of short and has long brown hair. She's dressed in jeans, some flats and a plain white shirt with a necklace draping from her neck. It looks like she's not even trying.

But she still looks so good. And this is the kind of girl I'm interested in. People who don't try so damn hard to look good.

"Troy?"

I snapped out of it and looked back at the guys. "Sorry, what?"

Chase gave me a weird look, "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I tell them, "I'm just wondering what's taking so long to get the food."

"Oh, I know," Jason adds looking around and at the number on our table, "I was starting to wonder about that, too. Should I go check?"

"NO," I say almost too loudly which earns a strange look from all of them. Crap. "I mean, no. I'll do it. I have to use the restroom anyway so yeah, I'll go figure out what's taking so long."

They shrugged, not really putting much thought into it and let me do it..

Gabriella's her name, right? Yeah, yeah. I think so. She was sitting with her friend next to the entrance and I wasn't trying to be creepy, I just maybe wanted a better look at her. It's not like I was going to talk to her. No way. What would I even say? I told you I'm shy. Well, I'm shy at first, but once I know you're interested, game over. I ask way too many questions and I spill my feelings and I joke around, all that. It's a weird kind of shy.

But anyway, I got up, fixed my shirt a bit and headed towards the door of the place.

I reached for the handle and before I pulled it open, I glanced towards her and she was looking up...

At me.

And I didn't expect it. Fuck.

But we made eye contact and the smallest of smiles emerged on her face. I doubt she recognizes me, but we're making eye contact.

I think I smile back, I'm not sure. I pulled my eyes away so fast and headed inside that I have no idea if I did or not. And now I'm beating myself up over it. It's not a big deal, I won't talk to this girl, but ugh, I probably made myself look so creepy just then. Holding her gaze and then just leaving. Great, Troy.

But whatever, our food was just about done so I headed back so they could bring it out and I walked right past her.

Not looking in her direction at all to avoid further embarrassment.

Man, she was so good looking. It wasn't fair.


	7. Chapter 7: Gabriella

"Who are you looking at?" Sophie looked over her shoulders, but her was gone.

The guy from church.

Troy. The really, really hot one.

I cannot believe he's here. At Wahoo's. Like, what are the chances? But I mean, they do say that once you meet someone or see someone, you start seeing them everywhere and if that's the case, I don't really mind. He probably doesn't recognize me, anyway. I just can't believe he's here. At the same time.

Oh, right, Sophie was talking to me. "What? Um, no one."

She gave me a weird look and then shrugged, "Okay, well, what should I do about my paper? Should I let it go or fight Mrs. Marksbury on it?"

"I don't know, Soph, I mean, you didn't fail it. You got a B. You really think you deserved an A?"

"YES!" she exclaims, almost too loudly, "I worked so hard on it and you saw me. I even ditched you a couple of times to write this. I know it's AP English and so the grading is harder, but I really thought I would get an A. I worked so hard on it."

"Well, then, yeah, just talk to her," I tell her, "no harm in that."

She nods, "yeah, I just don't want to come off as that annoying student, you know? But I think I will."

Soph looked down at her phone and I looked up from mine. The guy was coming out. Troy. And he walked right past me, not even looking at me.

Yep. He doesn't remember me.

And that's okay. Ha. I remember him because well, he's hot. And I have a good memory.

"Why does the food here take SO long?"

"Maybe because there are a lot of people here," I tell Sophie, matter-of-factually, "you're the one that wanted to drive all the way over here."

"15 minutes," she rolls her eyes, "it's not that far."

Okay, no, it's no. But like 25 if there's traffic. And I like Laguna. It's small and beachy and quaint and I sometimes wish I lived here, but Newport is open and big and I just love it. It's home. I could never leave it. But I do like coming down to Laguna. I've been coming down here a lot recently. They have good food.

Sophie puts her phone down and looks around at the place, all over the patio.

And then her head perks up.

"Oh my gosh," she looks over at me with a smile, "it's Chase."

"Chase?"

"Chase!" she repeats, "my mom's best friend's son."

Oooh right. That Chase. The Chase she used to have a massive crush on. I mean, he is cute. I've seen him a couple of times at parties, but I don't think I've seen him in over a year. I'm sure he's only gotten hotter, right? And I'm sure she's gonna go over there any say hi.

Yep. She's getting up.

"Soph, don't interrupt them, they're eating."

"It'll only be a minute," she tells me, "besides, I haven't seen him in a while."

She walks over to them and I look at what's going on. Chase immediately smiles upon seeing her and gets up and gives her a hug. And Sophie being the social butterfly that she is, starts talking to them for longer that she said she would.

I knew this would happen, of course. It always happens. And I'm always the one having to pull her away and bring her back to whatever she was doing.

And today was no different since our food was now here.

It was going to get cold if she didn't come over right now and sit her butt down so of course I had to go get her.

"Soph," I come up behind her, "food's here."

"One minute," she glances over at me and puts her hand up to shush me.

Cool.

I stand there awkwardly because Chase is now saying hi to me while Sophie is talking to some other guy. I say hi to him because well, I know him. Not well, but if I saw him on the street I'd recognize him and he'd recognize me, too. We've been around each other enough times to do so.

And straight across from where I was standing was the guy from church. Troy. Whatever his last name is.

He's so freaking hot, I can't take it.

I give him a small smile and he gives me one. He gives me a smile and I'm freaking out. Not really, I just, he's always been so serious when I would see him and now it seems like he's just a guy having fun with his friends.

"So yeah, we need to hang out," Sophie directed this at Chase, turning her body a bit towards him, "it's been a while."

"Yeah, definitely," Chase grabs his drink and sips on it, "what are you doing Friday? My friend Max is having a party on Friday, you guys should come."

Guys? As in me, too?

Sophie smiles at him and looks over at me for a quick second, "Yeah, sounds good! Text me the address and we'll be there."

Troy looked at me like he was surprised she said I'd go. And I get it. I do. I'm a preacher's daughter. But just for that stare alone, I want to go. And I want to show him that I'm a regular teenage girl who can go to parties and have fun.

We walked away and went back to our table and started going to town on our food. I was so hungry.

"So you down to go?" Sophie asks me, "it'd be fun."

"Sure," I shrug, "are you still harboring feelings for him?"

She almost chocked on her fish taco. "What?" she sort of laughed, "don't say that here. And no, I'm not. I don't think. I literally have not seen him in months so how could I still like him?"

I shrug, "I'm just asking. You seem pretty eager to go, so I don't know."

"He's fun."

"Yeah, I guess so."

And that was that. We finished eating, faster than the guys. And when we were ready to leave, we walked past them and Troy and I connected eyes one last time. It was different this time. It's like we knew who each other were. And you know what? I want to go to that party tomorrow and see him.

I think. Yeah, yeah, I do. I want to see what he's all about.

* * *

><p>"Sophie, if you're going to make me drive, you have to at least know where to tell me to go!"<p>

She grunted and looked back down at her phone and then up at my navigation system, "Well, I don't know, I thought we had it covered with these!"

I shook my head as I turned right on the street it was telling us to, but I don't think it was right. "I'm so ready to just turn this around."

"No," Sophie says, "I think we're going the right way."

We better be. I was sick of turning around.

"Yeah," she continues, "this is it, it's telling me on my phone and the street is a few streets over."

"Okay," I trust her.

I turn off my navigation system because for some reason it's off and it's not working today. Her phone is giving us the right directions. This house is up in the hills and it's just really hard to get to and it better be worth it. There better be cute guys. And good music. And girls who were nice and not dressed like sluts.

Sasha perked her head in between us from the backseat, "why don't you just ask me? I know this place like the back of my hand."

Oh crap. I thought she was sleeping. Before we came here, we ran a few errands. Well, Sophie did. She wanted to go to target to get a book or something and so Sasha stayed in the back seat and slept because she was exhausted. Ha.

Sasha Peters. Our dear friend.

It's the three of us, usually all the time. Sophie and I have known each other for so much longer, but she just fits with us.

We met her in 9th grade when she moved from Laguna Beach and have been inseparable since. But she grew up here. She knows people, she went to middle school with these people and some of her best friends live here. I'm not sure why she went to Newport Beach High, maybe she didn't want to commute the 20 minutes everyday? I don't know. But she still comes over here all the time since her dad lives here so of course we're bringing her to this party. She even knows Chase. And Troy? Well, I'm not sure, I haven't asked and I don't know if I even want to. It'll only bring up questions from her.

"Are we going the right way?" Sophie looked over at her.

"Yes," she stretches her arms out and lets out a yawn, "we're pretty much there."

Thank God. I was sick of driving around in circles. And I knew we could have easily asked Sash, but I didn't want to wake her up. I felt bad.

But we end up getting there, parking a bit away since there are cars everywhere. It's dark out. It's 8 pm and that's normal arrival time for a party. Everyone knows you don't want to show up before dark. That's lame. Ha. Even though we've done that before but whatever. It was totally by accident, so who cares.

"Come on," Sasha leads the way.

And once we're in back, she starts greeting people left and right. Of course. Of course she knows everyone. She's a social little butterfly.

We sort of just follow her, not really know what else to do. She introduces us to some people, others not, and then we make our way deep into the party. In the center of everything and everyone looks to just be having such a good time. Like, they're all getting along.

So different than Newport parties, that's for sure. there's always some sort of drama going on.

"Sash!" Chase shouts out and approaches us.

"Chase!" Sasha extends her arms and gives him a hug, "I've missed you."

He laughs and nods and then turns to Sophie, "hey, so happy you guys could come."

We all exchange hugs and then before I know it, Sasha has wandered off and it's just us three and Chase and Sophie are laughing about something, but she's not leaving my side, which is good. They're engaging, having fun, and so it's whatever. I'm fine with just standing here, looking around at everyone.

And then someone came behind us and went straight to Chase. "Dude, come here, Marcus is picking up some girl and you have to see it, it's the funniest..."

It was Troy. The hot guy.

He stopped when he realized who Chase was talking to. "Oh."

Chase turned to us and then back at Troy.

"Yeah, I've seen him," he tells him, "I'm sure I'll catch the next show, he's always doing it."

And then there's a silence between the four of us. We're all just standing there a little awkwardly and I have no idea why. A minute ago, Chase and Sophie were laughing hysterically about something and once Troy interrupted, it all just kind of shifted gears. It was sort of weird.

But then Chase spoke up. "This is my friend, Troy."

Sophie smiled at him and extended her hand, probably finding him extremely good looking, "Hi, I'm Sophie."

He grabbed her hand and shook it and gave her a small smile, "Troy."

And then Sophie turned to me and I think she wanted me to introduce myself, but I was not going to shake his hand like I was an adult or like we're business associates. We're in high school.

"Gabriella," I tell him so Sophie could quit looking at me like that.

He just nodded and gave me a small smile and then turned to Chase, "sorry for interrupting, I'm gonna head inside."

And then he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8: Troy

I cannot believe the first words Gabriella heard out of my mouth were telling Chase to come see Marcus make a fool of himself.

How freaking embarrassing.

She probably thinks I'm some asshole enjoying other people's misery, but I'm not. Well, I was in that instance. It was so funny. And if I would have known that they were the ones standing with Chase, I never would have ran and told him that.

"Dude, what's up?" Jason asks me waving a hand in front of my face.

"Oh, what? Nothing, why?" I turn to him.

"I don't know, you just seem sort of out of it today."

I was out of it. I was completely out of it. Normally, I'd come, down a few drinks, talk to everyone, drink some more, probably make a fool out of myself, but will make everyone else laugh and that's what happened at these parties. That was normal. But today was different.

And it was all because of Gabriella.

Since yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about her. And it's so crazy to even say.

You know how in movies people think about other people that they've never spoken to before and it's like, yeah, right, how is that even possible?

Well, it's very possible. I haven't said one thing to Gabriella directly, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. Her face. The way she carried herself and just everything I possibly know about her, which isn't much, unfortunately.

And I knew she was coming tonight. Chase told me Sophie was, but I just forgot until that moment.

Which is good because I had just gotten to the party when Marcus was hitting on some girl and I had not even had a drink yet.

Now that she's here, I don't really want to drink more than two beers. Or maybe even more than one. Which is so crazy. But if I end up talking to her tonight, I definitely do not want to make a fool of myself. There's no doubt I'll be seeing her at church on Sunday.

"Want me to get you a beer?" Jason looks back at me.

"No, thanks."

It earns a strange look form him, but I didn't care. I was definitely taking it easy tonight.

For the next twenty minutes or so, I didn't see her around and I wasn't actively looking for it. I didn't want to come off as some weird guy. She probably already thinks I'm weird because I've literally not said a word to her and we've been introduced twice. Here and at church.

"Troy, my man, what's going on?"

"Not much, Tony, what about you?" I slide into the living room from the outside.

There's a bunch of people outside and inside and you can't really keep track of anyone. I'm sort of just going from group to group.

But then I get into a conversation with Tony and he's telling me something about his brother and it's interesting and I'm engage but halfway through the story, I hear a voice coming from behind me.

"Excuse me."

I turned around to see the person who was trying to get by me.

It was Gabriella.

Fuck. We're face to face. And I'm literally not saying a word. What the hell is wrong me with me. I have a little more game than this, even if I'm not trying to spit any at her, ya know? I literally am just clamming up and it's sort of like me, but lately, it hasn't been like me at all.

I was gonna move to the side so she could get by but I ended up moving in the same direction she was, which caused me to spill my opened water bottle on the ground and on her shoes.

Fuuuuck. How embarrassing. How is this happening to me?

"I'm so sorry," I tell her immediately putting the cap on my water and looking over at the kitchen so I could get some napkins.

She shakes her head as she's looking down at her wet flats, "It's okay."

I look up at her to see if she genuinely means it's okay because it sounded like she did, but I can't really tell because she's not looking me straight in the eyes, but nonetheless, I run over to the kitchen, Tony's already gone, and I grab a bunch of napkins.

She's standing in the same place as I come back trying to move herself from the puddle of water and I immediately hand them over to her.

"I'm sorry," I apologize once more, "I didn't mean to."

"I know," she chuckles a bit.

Oh right, dumb, Troy. Who would actually spill water on someone they barely know? Ugh, think a little before you respond with dumb answers. "Right, um, sorry," I bend over at start wiping off the floor with the napkins I kept to myself.

I came back up and she was done wiping off her shoes as well, "It's okay, they're black flats, so don't worry about it."

Yeah, but still. Embarrassing. "Right. Okay."

She smiles at me, wet napkins in hand and we both just stand there for a moment.

And then she breaks the silence. "You go to my church, right? Your mom and my mom were talking last weekend?"

I'm not really sure you can say I go to her church, because it hasn't been a consistent thing. Well, it has for the past two weeks, but other than that, I had not gone to church in the longest. Except on Easter and Christmas, of course. But yeah, sure, I go to her church. If that's what she wants to hear.

So I nod. "Yeah, your father's the pastor."

She looks away for a second, but then back at me and slowly nods, "yep, my dad's the pastor."

I'm not sure what was wrong with that, but I'm guessing since she's at a party where there's alcohol and tons of weed involved that she might not be the normal pastor's daughter. She could be one of those that rebel or whatever.

I hear those are common.

And just as I was about to say something else, she took her phone out of her pocket and answered a call.

She escaped to the front and I turned around and tried to find Chase, because I'm sure he was with Sophie and so Gabriella would go back to her, right? Right. So I went outside and yep, sure enough they ere together.

But they looked pretty chummy so I didn't exactly want to interrupt. What's going on?

I went up to them anyway. "Hey, have you seen Brent?"

Chase turned to me as he sipped on his beer, "He actually just left. His brother is sick or something like that, I don't really know."

"What, are you serious, Chase? He was my ride."

"I know, he was my ride, too. He was just in panic mode so I guess that's why he didn't tell you, I don't know," he shrugs his shoulders as if it's nothing. Like what the fuck. I am so not calling my dad OR my mom to pick me up from this party. No way.

Obviously they know I drink, but it's just so awkward having your parents pick you up. Ugh I guess I'm gonna have to scan the whole party to find someone.

Wait. Chase.

"Who's giving you a ride? I'll go with you guys, if that's cool."

Chase chuckles and then points over at Sophie. "She is, actually. Well, Gabriella."

Gabriella. Ahh. "Oh, okay. Nevermind."

"No, she can give you one, too," Sophie shrugs as she sips on her beer, "she's our designated driver and so nice so she won't mind at all."

"What won't I mind?"

We all turn around to Gabriella coming towards us with her phone in her hand. Ummm.

Sophie chuckles a bit, "giving both of them a ride home?"

"No, it's fine," I shake my head, interrupting, "I can find someone else."

I'm not going to make her give me a ride home. I barely know her and I'm not sure she wants to drive Chase home and then me. We kind of live in opposite directions. Well, Laguna Beach isn't too big so it's not exactly opposites but she'll just have to go to two different places I don't want to inconvenience her.

She sort of just stands there for a moment, Chase and Sophie both quiet, and then she shrugs, "I honestly don't mind."

Oh um. Now what? I feel like I can trust her as oppose to these other people here. And I hate asking people for rides. It's the worst, but this sort of just happened naturally so I'll run with it. "Okay. Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem."


	9. Chapter 9: Gabriella

This all happened organically.

Sophie has absolutely no idea that I met this guy at church and I've been intrigued by him ever since.

I don't like the guy. I don't even know him. But I am very much intrigued. Like, what's his story? And where did he come from all of a sudden? I mean, I have a feeling I'm going to be seeing a lot of him so I don't know, maybe I should talk to him a bit, but at the same time, who knows if he wants to.

And I honestly don't mind giving him a ride. If I would have left knowing he didn't have a sober ride home, I'd feel funny about it all night, probably worrying.

So it's fine. I'm sure he doesn't live far.

"Fuck," I hear Troy saying out front as he's waiting for all of us to come.

I was the first one out and Sophie and Chase were looking for Sasha, who I forgot about for a while, actually. Ha.

"What?" I came up behind him.

He turned around, I think I startled him a little bit, and he held some keys in his hand. "Oh um, nothing."

Nothing? That didn't sound like nothing. "You sure?"

"I just don't have the keys to my dads house," he tells me and I'm a little lost about the whole thing. So? "yeah, I forgot that... never mind, I just don't have the keys and I don't really want to wake my dad up at this hour. He won't be very pleased."

It was 12:30. I don't have a curfew, believe it or not. My parents trusted me one hundred percent because they know I'm not out smoking or drinking.

And yes, I am in that environment and things can do wrong. But they can go wrong at home, too. So I just pray about it.

I don't really know what to say to Troy's dilemma. "Oh."

"Do you think maybe," he looks a bit embarrassed, like he doesn't want to tell me what he's about to tell me, but I want him to. "maybe you can take me to my mom's house instead? She lives in Newport, which I'm assuming you do too and she won't mind opening the door for me at this hour."

That's all? That's what he looked so worried about telling me? Ha.

I gave him a small smile and nodded. "Of course."

He looked relieved and thanked me. And then Sasha came strolling out singing with Chase and Sophie behind them.

We all piled up in my car. Sophie in the front and Sasha, Troy and Chase in the back and off we went. And the minute, I turned on the engine, Sophie told me exactly where to go so I did. And for the next five minutes or so, Sasha wouldn't shut up about something funny that happened a bit ago. I don't know. She was drunk and we honestly didn't understand what she was trying to say at all.

I dropped Chase off and as we were pulling out, Sophie gets a phone call and picks it up.

"No, I'm staying at Sasha's tonight," she tells the other person on the line, probably her sister, "yeah, that's fine. I don't know when I'll come home. Probably tomorrow afternoon or something. Okay, yeah, sounds good. Okay, bye."

Wait. What? How did I forget that Soph was staying at Sasha's tonight? Nooooo. I offered Troy a ride home to Newport and it's going to just be the two of us?

What the heckkkk.

"Ooohhh yeaaah," Sasha sings in the back, "sleepover time. Gabriella, you suck!"

"Sorry," I tell her knowing well she wanting me to stay over, too, but I have important breakfast plans tomorrow morning.

It's my grandma's birthday and we're taking her to her favorite restaurant and she loves breakfast, it's her favorite meal of the day so yeah. I'm not going to spend the night and risk waking up late and then having to drive at least 20 minutes over to Newport. So yeah, no, no sleepover for me this time.

We continue driving, Sasha's dad's house is only like five minutes away from Chase, and I'm not talking to Troy, but Sasha is in the back.

Sophie's on her phone and I'm just here.

Thinking about how our ride home to Newport is going to be. Should I be worried? No, right? He doesn't strike me as someone who's dangerous, but you just never know. I know if I tell Sophie that I don't want to give this guy a ride home to Newport by myself, she'd changed her plans immediately, but Sasha was stoked on her spending the night because they were gonna go surfing tomorrow or something, I don't know.

So I don't tell her anything. And by the time I drop them off, I think she's under the impression that I'm only riding with him for five more minutes, tops.

"You can come sit in the front if you want," I tell them after the girls go inside.

"Okay," he quietly replies.

He got out of the car and quickly came around to the front and got in. He buckled up immediately and took his phone out.

I put the radio up just a bit. Enough for me to hear him if he does start talking, but also enough so it won't be complete awkward silence in the car. And it was. For like a good two or three minutes, until I spoke up.

"Where around Newport does your mom live?" I ask him, just to prepare myself a bit.

"What?" he turns to me from looking out the window, "Oh, um, a few blocks away from Newport High, in that area."

Oh, I know exactly where that is. Obviously. I go to school there. "Oh, that's not far from me," I tell him, trying to make conversation, but I think if it was up to him, he'd just sit here and look out the window which is fine. He doesn't have to talk to me, but I mean, it would be a little nice.

Since he is reallllly hot. And it'll make me feel better about myself. A hot guy talking to me. Ha.

"So you go to school in Laguna?"

"Yeah, um, I didn't really want to switch high schools halfway through, I'm sure that's never any fun."

Oh okay. So he opened up a little bit. His parents are obviously divorced. I knew that since his dad lives in Laguna and his mom obviously lives in Newport. But he actually gave me a complete sentence, not that he hasn't before, but it just felt different. It felt like we were having a conversation and it was nice.

I was a bit shy, though. This guy was HOT. And he was sitting in my car. Next to me. Gah. "Yeah, I'm not sure why Sasha transferred."

He chuckled a bit. "That girl can make friends anywhere so she probably wasn't really worried about it, I'm sure."

"Yeah, you're right," I agree with him. I mean, we were friends her very first day.

"You go to Newport?"

I nod as I turn right at the green light, "yeah, I do. I like it."

Conversation is flowing for the next five minutes or so and I kind of like it. Obviously, I don't like this guy. But I mean, I'm sort of interested. He's the hottest guy I've laid my eyes on. Okay, well, actually when I went to New York one winter I saw this guy and he was so freaking beautiful I almost passed out.

Troy was a pretty close second, though. That's for sure. So he's the hottest guy in California, let's say.

And it's all so crazy how this is working out. I saw him twice in church, not saying a word to him, and I end up seeing him at a party and giving him a ride.

So funny.

"Thanks again for the ride," he tells me after a moment of silence between us, "it must suck being the designated driver."

I looked over at him and shrugged, "I don't mind, I don't drink so I'm not going to deprive my friends so I won't have to drive."

He quickly turned to me, "you don't drink?"

"No," I tell him keeping my eyes on the road, "I don't drink."

I'm not sure what he was thinking. I'm sure if he thought about me at all after our first introduction, he might have thought that I was this goodie two shoes preacher's daughter. But I'm sure when he saw me tonight, he changed his mind. I was at a party after all. With weed and alcohol and my friends were drinking. Which is fine by me. Do I like it? No. But it's not my life. If they want to drink, they can drink. That's between them and God.

So yeah, maybe he's got me all wrong. Maybe he thought I was some rebel pastor's daughter or something.

He turned away from me and looked straight ahead as well, "oh, well that's cool."

Cool? Yeah, I'm sure he thinks a 17 year old teenager girl not drinking is cool. Yeaaah, right. "I'm just not interested, never have been. But who knows, that could change someday, maybe."

"It's not that good, anyway," he tells me, "it just loosens you up, I guess. Makes you forget about shit and just have fun."

The minute he said that, though, it looked like he wanted to take it back.

I'm sure he was applying it to his own life judging by his reaction and I was interested to find out, but I wasn't going to pry. I left it at that and just shrugged it off, pretending like I was over the conversation. But I wasn't. I wanted to know what he means exactly and what's making him want to drink.

And I want to know kind of badly... Ugh.

* * *

><p>"So you and Chase looked pretty chummy the other night..."<p>

There was an instant smile on her face. Her crush was back on. "It was just two old friends catching up."

Yeah, right. "Oh, yeah?"

She made a left turn into fashion island and continued smiling, "Okay, before then, I hadn't seen him in months. Our mom's still hang out, lunch dates, coffee, whatever, but we're older now so we don't tag along and I don't know, maybe something ignited again, but who knows. It'll be awkward if it doesn't work out, don't you think? Our moms are pretty much best friends and yeah, I don't know."

"But he's hot, you're hot, why not?"

"He is pretty hot, huh?" Soph laughed, "he got hotter and that's the worst part of this all. And he's incredibly sweet. I forgot how nice he was."

"So what, did you guys leave it at that, or are you gonna start hanging out with him?"

She shrugged and turned right into the Nordstrom parking lot, "I mean, he texted me on Sunday telling me that it was great seeing me and he had fun hanging out with me, blah blah blah, but that's about it, so I don't know. I don't want to text him and ask him to hang out."

Yeah, definitely not. Boys come to us. Well, her.

She parked her car and then we got out and walked into Nordstrom to do a bit of shopping. It was such a beautiful day out... to shop. Ha.

"Well, I'm sure since he texted you that, he wants to hang out. Or else he wouldn't have bothered."

"Maybe," we head towards the escalator to the women's department, "oh wait. How was taking his friend home? What's his name again? Trevor? Something with a T right? Trey?"

"Troy," I corrected her almost a little angry. How can she forget such a hot guy's name? "I mean, it was fine. Unexpected, but fine."

"Sorry," she apologized, "I know he's Chase's good friend, and I mean, everyone kind of lives close to each other so I didn't think it'd be a big deal."

Yeah, she doesn't know I actually took him back to Newport with me. So maybe now's a good time to tell her. "Actually, he wanted a ride to his mom's house in Newport so after I dropped you guys off, we headed back there. It wasn't a five minute ride with just him. More like 20."

She jerked her head towards me as we reached the top of the escalator. "Really?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't a big deal," I assure her, just in case she feels a little bad about it, "he lives by Newport High so it was fine."

"He's pretty hot."

Ha. There is it. I was waiting for her to comment on his looks. "Yeah, he's good looking."

She laughs as we head to the clothes, "He's more than good looking. Chase is hot, but Troy's like, I don't know. It's so hard to explain. What did you guys even talk about or were you like too shy around him? I'd be, I think, if it was just the two of us driving home."

"I don't know, school, simple things."

She shrugged it off and we looked around for quite some time. I grabbed a couple of things and so did she and then we walked over to grab some food from Lemonade, my favorite place, ever. Ah, so good.

We ordered and then found a seat outside and as soon as we did, Soph's phone vibrated on the table.

She quickly picked it up and by the smile on her face, I knew exactly who it was.

"Oh my gosh," she breathed.

"Chase?"

"Yeah, like did he know we were talking about him?" she panicked, "oh my gosh, this is seriously so crazy. I'm scared."

I laughed and shook my head, "no, we were in the car, ya moron, what did he want? Does he want to hang out with you or...?"

She didn't answer me. She was too interested in what he sent her. And after smiling for about a minute, her hands shifted along her keypad and she typed out a text for him, giddy as can be. She had the biggest crush on him from like 7th grade to 10th grade and then it sort of just... stopped. I don't know what happened. Well, they didn't see each other as much and she was getting older so I guess I do know what happened. Oh, and she got a boyfriend. Ha.

"He asked if I wanted to grab some food," she finally told me.

"Tonight?"

"I guess he wanted to right now, but I told him I literally just ordered some," she explains, "but I suggested tomorrow."

Now's the perfect timing for them. They both drive. They can see each other whenever they want to. And they're older. So I say, go for it. Definitely go for it.

I felt a little responsible for them not hanging out right now so if she wants to ditch me, I give her my full permission to. "You can go hang out with him if you want to right now, I don't care. I can take this to go."

"No," she shakes her head, "I'm with you. And besides, he texted back saying tomorrow would be fine, after school."

"Well, look at you," I tell her picking up my lemonade, "your 7th grade dream is now becoming a reality."

She laughed and nodded as she also picked up her lemonade, "I couldn't possibly expect them to come true then. He was gorgeous and I had braces and the worst haircut of my life. I was delusional."

"Shut up, you were not. You were still so pretty, so shut up."

"Whatever," she put her drink down, "but oh, speaking of boys, I hear Patrick Smith wants to ask you out. Or to homecoming. Something like that."

Patrick Smith, captain of the football team? Gross. No way. I don't do jocks. Well, if they're not out there and cocky. And Patrick Smith is definitely cocky. Annoying. And everything else in between. And sure, he was good looking, but that only takes you so far. So, I think I'll pass on this one.

No, I'll definitely pass. "Not interested. Have you actually heard him speak?"

"Gabs!" Sophie laughs, "look, I know he's cocky and annoying, but he's charming and hot so why not? At least just for homecoming, you don't have a date."

"That's because I'm not going."

"You're not going to homecoming?" Sophie rolls her eyes, "bullshit. It's in 2 weeks. It's not this big deal. You don't have to go with a date, you know."

Yeah, I know that. I just don't want to go. "It's not like it's formal or prom. It's homecoming. It's a dance that's being held at a hall and yeah, no, I'm not going to waste money or my time going to that when I could be doing something I actually enjoy."

"You suck," Sophie glares at me as she leans back in her seat, "I wanna go, but I don't wanna take a date either."

"Just go with Chris," I suggest, "he'll be down to go."

"Chris!" her face lights up, "ahh, yeah, I'll ask him. Nothing better than him."

I laugh and agree. Christopher Simon. Our very best guy friend who goes to Corona Del Mar High school, not very far away. Seriously. He's our go to guy for anything and everything and he's the best. We give him girl advice and he gives us boy advice. And it's been like that since the 7th grade.

Our food came and as we dug in, my phone vibrated. It was my mom. And she was telling me that she was going out for some coffee with a friend.

And that friend was Kathy. Troy's mom. Which made me think about him. And our ride home together.

I kind of really want to see him again.


	10. Chapter 10: Troy

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, I'm going to coffee with a friend," my mom tells me as she puts her phone in her purse, "Karen Montez, from church."

Montez. Gabriella Montez. That's her full name. I like it.

And now my mom was going to coffee with her? What for? It's not like she needs more friends. My mom has plenty of those. And it's 5 in the afternoon, why isn't she still at work like she usually is? I have so many questions. One of them being why I'm actually here if she's going off with her friends.

"Mom, I came over so we can have dinner together like you wanted to a couple nights this week and now you're off to coffee with some lady you just met."

"Troy," she sighed, "don't be like that. I'll be back in a couple of hours, I can grab us some take out or something."

Yeah, no, thanks. I don't know. I didn't even want to come to Newport today and I did it for her and now she's leaving me by myself.

She left and I took out my phone and called my best friend Morgan who lives a couple of blocks over from me.

I asked if she wanted to grab some food or something since I was hungry and to be honest, I was kind of mad at my mom. Sure, this was a surprise visit but she told me to come any day of the week so I did. I chose Monday, thinking she would have nothing going on whatsoever and what do you know?

She's off to coffee. Which will probably take hours.

Morgan said she'd pick me up in about 10 minutes so I just waited for her.

And when she came, I hopped in her car and reclined my chair back right away. I was so tired.

"What's up with you?" she asks.

"Nothing," I tell her as I close my eyes, "my mom's just being annoying. She tells me to come over and have dinner with her and I do and she's off to coffee with some lady she just met and I have no idea why. It's freaking Monday, shouldn't she be at work or something?"

Morgan's that friend that doesn't always agree with you or what you're saying, but she'll still listen and let you vent. She's also that friend that will tell you when you're wrong or when you're acting stupid.

I mean, she's been my friend since we were in diapers. Literally. Her mom and my mom are the best of friends. The absolute best. So I grew up with her.

She's another sister to me and although, she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, we're always there for each other. Always. And sure, she's beautiful and everything, but no. No romantic connection at all. So weird. It will seriously be like dating my sister. And yeah, that's way too weird for me.

"Well, Troy, that's how you make friends," she tells me turning left onto PCH, "you hang out with them and get to know them."

"I know, Morg," I roll my eyes, "I don't know. I'm suddenly trying here and she's... not."

"Oh my gosh, she's ditched you once. Calm down, you're overreacting."

Maybe I am. Yeah. Maybe I'm just mad that my sister isn't coming home this weekend after all and I'm taking it out on my mom. I was really looking forward to her coming this weekend because I miss her.

Yeah, maybe I should lighten up a little bit. "Sorry, Sam just bailed and it's like, when you think things are getting better, it just stops."

Morgan frowns. She knows everything. She's been through everything with me and she thinks I'm dumb and there's better ways of handling shit, but she's still here for me regardless. And I love her for that. Jason's my brother and she's my sister and there's no way I could have gotten through this without them.

"Well, she's busy. And it's not like Santa Barbara is ten minutes away from here."

"I know," I tell her, "it just all used to be so simple."

"But that's life," she continues, "it changes. There are so many families out there that are broken. With divorced parents. You're not the first one. So stop acting like it's the end of the world. At least you still have them."

She's right. But at the same time, like, my family was perfect. We all never fought, we'd have Sunday night dinners as a family, we'd go to parties together, we'd celebrate Christmas all over the top. We'd laugh and have movie nights. Seriously. We were the perfect family.

Then one day, it's gone. Like that.

And I just so badly wish that it can just all go back to the way it was.

* * *

><p>"Morgan, this isn't what I had in mind when I asked if you wanted to grab some food," I pretty much whine like a girl as she rummages through some clothes at Brandy Melville.<p>

"I'm done," she tells me, stepping away, "I just wanted to check it out. I'm always down for some new clothes."

I rolled my eyes and we walked out of there and headed towards Yardhouse. I didn't necessarily want to be here at the mall but she just drove us here and whatever, there are a ton of places to eat here. Like Yardhouse. It's delicious. And it's here. So I guess we're killing two birds with one stone.

We walked by some more stores and of course Morgan popped into one.

Not me. I waited outside for her as she looked through some more clothes. Clothes she didn't need.

I sat down on a bench and took out my phone and saw that I had a couple of text messages. One was from my mom asking me to tell her if I wanted her to grab anything for dinner. Another was from Jason asking about some homework. And the last one was from a girl named Brianna.

Who I hooked up with about a month ago.

And she was asking me if I wanted to hang out. No. That was a one time thing, unfortunately. She's nice and all, but nah, I'm off girls.

I replied to them all, making up some bullshit excuse for Brianna and then put my phone back in my pocket. And the minute I looked up, I saw none other than Gabriella Montez.

In the flesh.

Walking with her friend, Sophie. And sipping on some lemonade.

And they were coming my way. Shit. Shit. Shit. Do I say hi? Do I look away and pretend not to see them or what?

As they were approaching, Morgan comes out squealing about something and comes running up to me, pulling me up. "Oh my gosh, I finally found what I've been looking for, for the past 2 months! This is so exciting, Troy. SO FREAKING EXCITING!"

Sophie, I don't think recognized me, and she was on the phone so she didn't pay much attention to the squealing, but Gabriella sure saw.

She was staring right at us.

"Ahhh, I'm so stoked right now!" she hugs me and dances around.

"Okay, calm down," I tell her quietly.

She composes herself and agrees with me and then marches back into the store. and when I look around to find Gabriella again, she's gone. I look the other way, and there she was walking away with Sophie, her back to me. Did she not recognize me? Or maybe she just didn't want to say hi? Right? Maybe she couldn't make my face out since Morgan was all over me. I don't know. I would have said hi to her. She did save me Saturday night, after all.

Morgan finally came out of the store a couple of minutes later carrying a bag, "I'm sorry, I've been looking for these shoes for the past 2 months. They never had my size or they were sold out and I can't buy them online and it's such a big moment for me, Troy."

"It's fine," I tell her, looking over to where Gabriella walked to, hoping maybe I'd see her again. But nope. She was gone.

"Are you okay?"

"What?" I shake it off, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Let's go eat, please, I'm starving."

So we did. We walked over to Yardhouse and they took us in right away, seating us in a booth in the back. I texted my mom and told her I was grabbing dinner with Morgan so she's on her own for dinner and then I looked over at the menu and quickly decided on what I wanted... the steak.

Morgan took a little while to decide, like a typical girl.

And once the waitress came to take our drink order, we gave her our order as well.

"I'm sorry," Morgan apologizes again, "I know you probably just wanted to grab something at, like, Sol Cocina and had no interest in coming to the mall."

"Nah, it's fine," I lean back in the booth.

"You don't understand how happy I am right now, though. Seriously, two months of looking nonstop for these shoes!"

Well, I'm happy for her. I am. And I guess in a way it's good that we stopped because I got to see Gabriella. I didn't see her Sunday at church because my mom woke up with the worst headache so we didn't end up going.

It's not like I like her. I don't know this girl. But I am interested. She's drop dead gorgeous. Interested enough to get to know her? Nah, I've sworn off girls for the remainder of my senior year. But who says I can't have friends? Or you know, be around really pretty girls? Or just admire them from afar?

Seriously, today, she was wearing running shorts, a simple tank top and running shoes and her hair was pushed back in a pony tail and she looked better than most girls who get all done up. It was crazy.

It was crazy how someone can be that beautiful to me.

"Anyway," Morgan changes the subject, "can I set you up with someone? I feel like you'd hit it off with Roxy Adams."

"Roxy Adams?"

"Yes," she smiles, "she's pretty."

No, yeah, she is, but um no, thanks. "Why is everyone trying to set me up? I'm fine. I don't want to be set up. I don't want to date. I'm good." I really don't want to date. Last time it didn't end so well so yeah, I'm good. I pass.

Morgan sighed, "dating is a part of life, Troy. And so is getting cheated on. You pick yourself up and move on."

"Easy for you to say, you've never been cheated on so you don't know how it feels," I argue back, "plus, I think I have way too much going on in my fucked up life right now to romance a girl. I'd probably be the worst boyfriend ever right now, if we're being honest. Don't you think?"

"I don't think," she shrugs, "sure you've been hooking up with stupid girls here and there, but I know you're a relationship guy no matter how hot you are and no matter how many girls you can get."

It's not awkward that she just called me hot. That's how we are. It's how we've always been.

But she is right. "No, yeah, but I don't want to date. I just want to finish my senior year in peace and I don't know, I'll think about it in college."

"I don't know, I just thought that if you find someone you click with, you really like, it'll get easier for you. It did with Kenzie."

She has a point, but if I'm being honest, I don't think it's Kenzie that took the pain away. Sure, she helped play it down, but it was still there. My anger and resentment was still there. But she did make me forget about it a little bit.

So I get where she's coming from. "I know, but no, I do not want to be set up. I'm having a girl free senior year."

"So no hooking up with anyone?"

"Nope," I shake my head, "can't risk catching feelings."

"You suck."

Morgan loved playing matchmaker. It was her thing. She set up her best friend with her boyfriend and they've been together a year now. And she recently set up her other friend with this guy and they're going on four months now. So, yeah, I hate to be the one to break her track record, but I have to.

Whatever. Our drinks came and I changed the subject. I did not want to talk about this.


	11. Chapter 11: Gabriella

Like, what are the chances? I've been seeing Troy everywhere.

And it's not like I mind because he's so beautiful, but it's WEIRD. Why is this even happening?

But of course he has a girlfriend. He's hot. Why wouldn't he? It's fine. I don't like him. But I'd feel less bad about staring at him if he was single you know? Because if I had a boyfriend that was as hot as him, I wouldn't want any girls staring at him. I guess it's inevitable, though.

Also, it's a random Monday afternoon. What are the chances that I ran into him? Well, I didn't really run into him. He was a little busy with his girlfriend to even notice me, I think. But I definitely noticed him.

"Hey, sweetie," my mom comes strolling into the kitchen where I was sitting around the island doing some homework, "what are you doing?"

"Homework," I tell her, turning to her, "you're just getting done with coffee?"

She shakes her head, "No, I stopped by your grandma's, she made food and since your dad and sister are out for the night and you went to eat with Sophie, thought I'd stop by and take some of her food instead of having to make some or get something."

Oh, right. Grandma makes the best food, anyway. "So how was your coffee date?"

"Oh, fine," she goes over to the fridge and takes out the milk, "how was the mall with Soph? Did you get anything?"

I shake my head as I close my textbook. I'm just about done. "No, she did, though. We got some lemonade and then just window shopped for a bit. But um, yeah, so you and Kathy are like friends now?"

She gave me a sort of weird look and continued pouring some milk in her glass, "We hit it off at church and I know she's going through some things so yeah, I told her if she ever wanted to talk, we could go for some coffee or something and she took me up on it."

"What kind of things?"

"Just some things," my mom tells me.

Ugh. I'm so nosy, but I know my mom's not going to tell me. She's so loyal and she's a great secret keeper. Like, the best. "I saw her son at that party Saturday night, actually. He lives in Laguna, so yeah..."

My mom's head perked up a little. "Oh, you did? How was he?"

Ummm fine? Why is she asking like she's known him for a while or something? "Fine?"

"Was he drinking?"

"What? Um, no, I didn't see him, why?" I told her.

Honestly. Now that I think about it, he spilled water on me so he was drinking water and then after that, I didn't see him holding a red cup or a beer bottle. But why does my mom care? Makes me wonder what exactly Kathy told her and now I'm even more interested in their conversation. Ugh.

She shook her head a bit as she sipped on her milk. "No, um, nothing."

"Mom," I called her out.

"No, it's not my place, honestly. Kathy just told me some family problems and that's it. I can't say much, you know that."

I know that. People are constantly coming up to my dad and asking for advice, prayers, and they always present their problems to him. And my mom, too, even if she isn't a pastor. She's a strong woman of God so people go to her. This isn't something new. But this is actually one of the first times that I've been genuinely interested in what someone was talking to her about and I have no idea why.

Oh wait, yes, I do. Because Troy's beautiful and mysterious and intriguing and I just want to know what his story is. What he's all about.

Now I think there's something way more to him that just being beautiful. "Yeah, it's okay. He's nice, though."

"I'm sure he is," she smiles, "his mother's wonderful. Such a nice lady."

Well, that's good, I guess. I don't really know what else to really say. Or why all of a sudden, I want to get to the bottom of his life. What's going on with his family, why my mom wants to know if he was drinking or not and all that jazz.

But it's not my place and I know that.

Ugh.

* * *

><p>Once again, Kathy slides into the pew we're in Sunday morning and she's wearing a smile on her face and that's nice to see.<p>

"Good morning," she tells my mom as she gives her a hug.

She says hi to me as well and then takes a seat net to my mom. Troy's behind her who says hi to my mom as well and just gives me a smile before he finds his seat. I mean, I didn't expect a hug or anything so yeah, a smile is fine.

They started talking and since church technically didn't start for the next ten minutes, I went on my phone.

And then my mom leaned into me, "We're gonna go to the bathroom really quick."

Oh great. They get up and leave a huge space between Troy and I which forces us to be able to look at each other and I'm trying my hardest not to, but eventually I fail and look over at him.

Deep breath, Gabriella. Just say hi to him. Start a conversation. Be friendly. "We have to stop running into each other like this."

He looks over right away and looks a bit confused. "What?" but then he gets it and lets out a small laugh. "Oh. Yeah. I know, right?"

I scooted over a bit so I didn't have to talk so loudly. "Crazy, right?"

"Yeah, sort of," he agrees, "Wahoo's, Max Thompson's party, Fashion Island, although I'm not sure if you actually saw me there, but I saw you, I think. I'm sure it was you."

"It was," I chuckled a bit, "I think I would've said hi, but you were a little busy."

"Oh yeah, no, my friend was freaking out about some shoes she finally found after two months and..." he pauses and then shakes his head a bit, "anyway, yeah, no, I wasn't that busy, but I guess that's good to know you would acknowledge me in public."

Whatever that means, I smiled at. He also said friend. She wasn't his girlfriend. Eeek. Calm it down, Gabriella. "Shoes are hard to shop for. I understand."

He laughed and put his phone in his pocket. "Yeah, I guess."

Shortly after a moment of silence between us, our moms came back, but instead of coming back the way they came, they came the opposite way. And they just sat down together, making me sit by Troy. Ummmm. I mean, it's not a big deal, but he's looking over at his mom like what the heck. She's supposed to be sitting next to him, not me. But she's not looking back and she's looking down at her bible getting ready for service.

So this is how we sat the rest of the service. My mom and her new best friend together and me next to Troy. And it wasn't that bad.

My dad cut service short today, because I'm not sure why, but he did.

My mom got up and Kathy followed her out and they went around the pews and towards my dad in the front of the church. Of course my mom's going to introduce her new friend to my dad. Ha.

I kind of just sat there because I didn't know what to do.

Same went for Troy I think. He was watching his mom up there, not moving, with zero emotion on his face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking and I so badly wanted to, but like my mom said, it's not my place to know their family drama. It just makes me wonder since he just started coming to church. And he is so hot and stuff. It sounds pathetic and probably mean, but if he wasn't so hot I don't think I'd even care about this at all. I don't know what's going on.

"Sorry, do you want to get out?" he asks me about a minute later.

The other end of the pew is being blocked by this two people standing there and talking so it'd be much easier to just go through his end.

I shake my head, "Um, I have to wait for my mom anyway so might as well sit."

He chuckles and nods as he looks down at his phone, not paying attention to me anymore. He goes to his text messages and I'm trying my hardest not to pry, but I couldn't help it. He had a few texts, but he went to this girl Morgan's text. And it's a miracle, but I could really make out what she texted him.

_Can you come over? I don't feel good. We can lay in bed and watch movies all day and cuddle. _

Gag. Okay. This girl was for sure his girlfriend.

He slid his fingers across his keypad and replied to her. _Sounds great. I'll be over soon. _

I quickly looked away before he caught me eavesdropping and looked down at my own phone and checked my own messages because if he caught me, I'd be so mortified and embarrassed. Oh my gosh. No. I wouldn't even be able to talk my way out of it.

"Want me to save you?"

He quickly looked over at me, "What?"

I smiled and got up and pushed past him and he got up and followed my lead, kind of. He stayed back a bit as I went up to my parents, said something to them and then they quickly started saying their goodbyes to Kathy.

And as they were doing so, I walked past Troy, gave him a smile and whispered, "you're welcome."

I didn't even glance back, just kept walking to the parking lot where my parents were going to meet me. I don't know why, but I just felt like I should help him out. He obviously doesn't want to be here waiting for his mom any longer and to be honest, I'm hungry and my parents can talk for the longest time so really, I helped the both of us out. Not just him.

Then he got in his car and off he went to his girlfriends house so they could cuddle.

How nauseating.


	12. Chapter 12: Troy

"Are you upset with me in any way?"

I tapped on my steering wheel to the beat of the music and didn't say a word to my mom.

She turned the music down and turned towards me. "Troy?"

Ugh. I can't ignore her forever. "I just don't get why you have to go to so many people about your problems with me. I get it. I'm a mess. You're sad about it. But that doesn't mean I want everyone knowing what's going on in my life. It's embarrassing, mother."

She sighed and continued looking at me, "I just feel like you're slipping again and I don't know, maybe Pastor David has some advice for me."

"I'm fine, mom! Maybe if you didn't hound me all the time, I'd be better."

"Hound you?" her voice raised, "I'm trying to help you be the Troy I know you could be! The one who cared about college, who talked to their parents about what was going on and who wouldn't be out til 12 in the morning doing God knows what with God knows who!"

"Mom, you know I'm not into any types of drugs whatsoever," I reassure her that I'm technically not doing anything to intentionally harm myself.

She sighed once again and shook her head, which is the worst.

She didn't say anything for about a minute and I mean, I feel bad, but at the same time, I feel justified. They ruined my life, why not make theirs a little bit miserable, ya know? Stupid mentality, I'm sure of it, but it is what it is.

Finally, though, she spoke up. "I know you have more going on than just your dad and I divorcing, Kenzie pretty much broke your heart and I get it..."

"Oh, you do?" I ask her, "you know how it feels to be young and stupid in love and to find out your girlfriend cheated on you on your anniversary?"

She stayed quiet.

That's what I thought. "My life is just shit, mom. I don't care."

"You should! You have so much going for you, you really do. I know you do. You're kind, you're goodhearted, you care. I know you want to go on and be the best businessman you can be, just like your dad. But you know you're not gonna get anywhere with how you're acting today. Moody, short tempered, going out all the time. You're better than this. I know you are. I've seen it. And I'm just waiting for it to come back. I'm praying for it to come back."

I know I'm better than this, but I'm not thinking with my heart or my brain, I'm thinking with my head. And anything to make the pain go away, I'll do it.

Which includes beer. And more beer.

And being around a whole bunch of people who don't have a care in the world but the party we're at.

That's where I'm at right now and I'm trying my hardest to not be moody towards my mom or dad, but I seriously can't help it sometimes. I look at them and all I really see is two people who gave up on love. Who gave up on their family. And every other thing they had for 17 years.

But for right now, all I can really do is apologize. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she shakes her head some more, "do better. Be better."

I don't know if I have it in me anymore. Maybe I'll be angry for the rest of my life and I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. But I'm just going to give her what she wants right now. What she needs. And I'm going to just agree. "Okay."

* * *

><p>"You can't eat that in my bed!" Morgan bitches at me before I even step foot into her room.<p>

"Why not?" I carry my Baja Fresh take out in my hands.

She sighs and leans back in her bed, pulling the covers over her. "Whatever, just don't make a mess. I found a spider crawling like a week ago and now I'm so freaking paranoid, it's not even funny."

I slipped off my shoes and closed the door behind me before making my way to her bed. I put my food down on her bedside table and then got comfortable, creating a little space in front of me where I can put my nachos so I can eat them.

She looks over at me and groans, "I'm serious, Bolton. You better not spill anything or I'm kicking you out."

"Go ahead," I laugh, "it's not like I want to be here and intentionally catch whatever you have."

She punches my arm, "shut up. I want the company. I'm bored. My parents are busy and I need someone here to make me a tea or get me whatever I want when I want it."

What a princess. No, just kidding, I know she's sick. She's hardly ever sick so I know she's not lying. "Yeah, that's fine, but I'm telling you right now, I'm not cuddling with you, and I'm not watching any season of the real housewives or anything reality, for that matter. I can't."

Morgan laughed and grabbed the control in front of her. "Deal. But why no cuddling?"

"Because you're sick," I remind her.

Seriously, we're not normal. We cuddle. We hug more than two people need to. But it's so platonic that it's not even funny. There's nothing romantic at all. Like whatsoever. So much so that I'd spend the night all the time and we'd sleep in the same bed and if we wake up cuddling, it's not weird. Honestly. People find it weird. Our parents don't, though. People who know us really well don't. It's just us. It's what our relationship is. And probably always will be.

Of course, it doesn't happen if we're in relationships because we are respectful to them, but yeah. It's weird.

"Oh, right," she laughed, "for a second, I thought you might have found someone or something and ditched our cuddling for her."

"Haa," I let out a big laugh, "no. I'm still off girls."

I could see from the corner of my eye, she was rolling her eyes, but I didn't care. "Whatever, I'm not going to get into it with you. But um, I know I'm totally going against everything your mom doesn't want, but come with me to a party this Friday, yeah?"

A party? My ears always perk up at that. "Whose party?"

"This girl Hannah," she tells me, "I don't go to her school, but her brother's hot and we've sort of been talking so I thought I'd go, hang out with hm, and maybe win her over or something."

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll win her over by bringing some guy to her house."

She rolls her eyes, "shut up. Don't kill my plan. Bring Chase and whoever else. You just have to come. Meg and Trace don't want to come with me."

I mean, I'll do anything for Morgan and I'm always down for a party, but a party with people I know. MY friends. Not a party where I'll have to get to know new people because that is not my cup of tea right now. "I'll think about it. I won't know anyone, really."

"You'll get to know them," she argued, "and you'll know me, of course. I just need my wingman with me and I'll do whatever you want."

"Cover for me that night and say I'm at your house watching a movie or something. I need my mom off my back."

"I will," she squeals, "my parents are out of town next weekend, anyway. She won't know."

Cool. Okay, I'm in.

I grab some nachos, fitting as many as I can between two fingers and put them in my mouth, savoring every last bite. Nachos were my favorite thing in the world and I could eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Well, and brunch since it's 11:30, right? This is brunch time? Who knows.

Morgan coughed into her shoulder and I gave her a disgusted look. I'm trying to eat here. That's gross.

Whatever. I'm too busy enjoying these nachos to care too much.

* * *

><p>"Do you want me to grill some steaks?" My dad asks as he's looking in the fridge later that night, "or I can whip us up some spaghetti."<p>

"Whatever's fine," I didn't even look up from my phone.

My dad sighed and closed the refrigerator door and came over and took my phone, "that's not a good enough answer. Do you want me to make spaghetti or do you want me to grill some steaks?"

Geez. "Um, whatever you want. Seriously. I'm down for some steaks if it's not too much work."

He handed me back my phone and shook his head and went back to the fridge to take them out. "You need to change your attitude and be more present. And a little more respectful to your mom and I. We're trying here Troy and it's making it very difficult. She told me you got home at 3 in the morning the other day. Do you not take into consideration her feelings at all and think about how worried she must be about you?"

Um, okay, I did not expect this little rant right now. At all. To be honest.

"Like come on, Troy. You're 18 soon. Grow up a little bit. Stop slacking off, stop being this kid you know you're not and just enjoy life again."

"Enjoy life again?" I ask him, "yeah, okay. You mean the life you and mom ripped off from under me? That life? How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy it when it's not there anymore?"

"Troy," my dad looks like he wants to smack me across the head, "try being married for 17 years and working a demanding job. It's not easy, okay? We tried and tried and in the end, we had to do what was best for the whole family. That's life."

Oh please. What's best. What's best if they stayed together. I'd rather have them fighting in the same house than not fighting at all.

I was close to both my parents. I'd say equal. But I've always been a momma's boy. If we took separate cars anywhere, I'd go with my mom and Samantha would go with my dad. But honestly, it was equal. My dad coached my basketball teams growing up and I wanted to be just like him when I was growing up. They were the best parents imaginable. And when they divorced, I wanted to live with my dad full time. Not only was my mom moving to Newport Beach but I knew she was the one who initiated the divorce so I was mad. At them both. But my mom more. So I stayed with my dad, Sam divided her last year of living here evenly with the both of them, commuting to school and shit. I spent 55% with my dad, 45% with my mom. And then it got a little easier when Kenzie came around. I was still mad at them, but I don't know, it started to feel a little normal. Living two lives.

"Your sister..." he starts to say, but I cut him off.

"SAM is in fucking Santa Barbara. She's lucky. Regardless if you guys were together or not, she wouldn't even be here having to deal with it. So don't tell me to act like Sam or to be as kind and gracious as Sam because she's not here."

He stayed quiet for a minute and then grabbed the steaks and marched himself right out of the kitchen, through the sliding doors and outside to the grill.

I know I'm a bit much sometimes, I know that. but I just cannot help it sometimes. I'm sensitive. I'm so fucking sensitive.

While my dad was outside preparing the grill, I stayed inside and finished up some homework. See. I do my homework. I don't go to class every day because I'd rather be sleeping, but I do my homework, for sure. I have to or I'd probably fail the class.

My dad comes back in, grabs some garlic salt, an extra plate, some seasoning and some napkins and stops as he starts to pass me. "I thought you were doing better. Your mom told me you've been going to church ever Sunday."

"So what? Is that supposed to change me completely?"

"Yes! It should make you be someone who will make God proud," he tells me, "and I'm going to start going, too."

Oh great. Why does my mom think church will fix everything? She's still always bitching at me, so why hasn't she changed? I don't get it. I go, I listen to the word and sure, it makes me think sometimes, but that's it. It doesn't make me want to change at all and I have no idea why it would.

And now my dad's gonna start going? "I hope not to the same one, it'll only piss me off."

"Yes, the same one," he tells me, "your mom invited me and she thinks I'll really like it. We have to turn to God in times of need and this whole family is going through a huge transition."

I'm so over this conversation. "Yeah, okay, sure, dad, whatever, can I get back to my homework now?"

He sighed and then kept moving. But I know that by the time the steaks are done and we're sitting around the table eating, we'll be fine. That's how we are. We bicker and fight, but we can still hang out. With my mom, it's different. I don't want to be around her because she still keeps bitching at me.

So I guess that's why I'm here more of the time.

Whatever.


	13. Chapter 13: Gabriella

"So where are we at with the college applications?"

Oh gosh. College talk. I mean, it's a reality. College is right around the corner, but I don't want to think about it. "Oh um..."

My dad reaches for some chips across the table and looks up at me. "They're almost due."

I sigh, knowing that's true. "I know, I know. And I'm excited about college, but I know how hard it is and how demanding and I'm going to miss high school and all of my friends and I just don't want to think about it, really. Or really talk about it, if that's possible."

My brother laughed, "that's how I was and now look at me. I love it."

Oh yeah, surprise. I have a brother. My sister's the oldest, a sophomore in college, and then it's my brother, a freshman, and then me. A high school senior. Really don't know how my parents did it, having three kids a year apart, but they did and I'm sort of happy about it. We're all close in age so we're all pretty close and I love it. I can literally go to them for whatever, whenever. And I know they're always be there. That's the great thing about siblings.

They both go to UC Irvine so not far at all, but my brother got a full ride so he's currently living in the dorms while my sister is home. But obviously he comes home whenever he wants to. Like sometimes he'll spend the nights a few days in a row because it's way more comfortable.

"Yeah, but I'm still so indecisive about whether or not I want to go away. I love it here, but the thought of maybe getting into Brown and actually going is pretty incredible, don't you think?"

"It is," my dad nods, "and if you get in, I think you should definitely go. It'll be amazing."

"I know it will, but it's not home and I've never been that girl that needs to get out because she feels trapped and blah blah blah."

My dad laughed as he reached for a couple more chips and dipped them in salsa, "I know, but it'll be a good experience, you'll meet new people. Maybe the love of your life. You'll become more independent. It'll be great."

Yeah, maybe. "What if I want to go to UC Irvine?"

Natalie and Joseph are bright. We're all smart kids. Joseph is actually probably the smartest out of all of us, but none of them ever felt the need or want to leave for college. Until me. It's not that I necessarily want to leave, but I have interests in other schools. They were just interested in UC Irvine because it's close AND it's a really good school. A great college. And yeah. But I was always a bit different. I wanted to go to Brown and then Columbia and then UCLA and now I think I might just want to park it here and go to UC Irvine with my brother and sister and stay home and live rent-free. Wouldn't that be great?

I wasn't expecting my dad to say something along the lines of, but you're meant to see the world, blah blah blah.

But he didn't. "If that's what will make you happy, go there. It's a fantastic school."

It would. It's close to home, I can still meet a ton of people and it'll save me a ton of money. Not that we really need to. My grandpa's a self made millionaire and when he passed, he gave all of his kids and their families money to basically last them a lifetime. Okay, years. But my uncle has now taken over and so the income is still coming in. And that's how we've been living so fabulously. My dad's a pastor, my mom's a stay at home wife/mom.

And I truly love my life here. I don't ever want to leave. I even want to raise my kids here.

"I think it will."

UC Irvine, here I come...

* * *

><p>I really don't want to be here right now. I have a cold, I'm beyond tired and being around drunks will only make things worse.<p>

But it's my brother's girlfriends party and she wanted me here.

So here I am, sitting down with Sasha on my right side laughing at something someone said and Chris on my left sipping on some beer while I'm trying my hardest to not sneeze all over the place. Seriously, I'm catching a cold and it's so not pretty. But here I am...

And I really just want to go home.

"I'm so hungry," Chris complains as he leans back on this bench we're on and puts his feet up around the fire pit, "I'm so down for some chili cheese fries or something. Doesn't that sound like sooooo good?"

"It does," I do the exact same thing he does and try to make sure my shoes don't catch on fire, "but I can't leave right now. I got here an hour ago."

Chris rolled his eyes. "I just don't really feel like partying. Nothing against Hannah."

Same. "And you think I do? Do you hear me right now? Give me two days and I'm going to sound like a freaking man."

Hannah doesn't really drink. She'll have a drink maybe once every few parties and so this party is a lot tamer than most of the parties around here. But she is a really fun girl and loves social gatherings and hanging out with people so it's not weird that she's having a party if she's not necessarily into party things.

Plus, her twin brother is pretty popular so I guess this is both of their parties... whatever. All I know is I've been here for an hour and I want to go home.

"Can I show you this video?" Chris pulls his phone up next to me.

"Sure."

Like, I have anything better to do.

And a 3 minute video turned into about an hour of us just sitting there laughing nonstop at other ridiculous videos and vines and stuff. Seriously, I went from wanting to go home to actually enjoying myself. And we couldn't stop laughing, so much so that people who would take seats around us would end up getting up and leaving us to sit there by ourselves. Which wasn't a big deal, the fire pit was away from everyone in the corner of her backyard.

I was legit crying at one of the videos because it was so funny. "Is my makeup ruined?"

Chris looks over and shines the light from his phone on me, "Nah, I think you're good, but oh my gosh, that video of the little girl singing. Hysterical."

"Pretty sure this is the most fun I've had at a party. Ever."

"Same."

Chris chuckled and went back to watching a couple other videos on my phone while I got myself together. I really should get up and mingle and see what my brother's up to, but the minute I looked up. Everything kind of just stopped.

And Chris turned to me when I grabbed his arm. "What, what is it?"

Oh um, I didn't mean to grab his arm. It was just a reaction. Like, oh shit. "Oh, no, um, nothing."

Chris looked in the direction I was looking at saw exactly who I saw. "You know him?"

It was Troy Bolton. In the flesh. With a smile on his face and a red cup in his hand standing next to Hannah. And Hannah's brother. And what the heck. How does he know everyone? How is he everywhere? Has he always been everywhere and I'm JUST not noticing or what? Because this is getting a little weird. He's literally everywhere I am.

"Oh um, no, not really. He's new to my church and I've just been seeing him everywhere recently, which is weird."

"Why's it weird?" Chris shrugged, "everyone in Newport knows each other pretty much. I mean, remember those two girls I dated that were cousins? Yeah, awkward. Big town, but also small."

Okay, yeah, yeah, I guess so. But I don't know it's just so weird. Maybe this is a sign from God. Maybe I should talk to him?

So somehow, I muster up the courage to get up and walk over there.

I casually go by Hannah and ask her the first question I can think of asking her in the short 30 second walk it took to get to her. "Have you seen my brother? I've been looking for him for the past five minutes."

Yeah, no, I haven't.

She looks around and then shakes her head, "No. Last I saw him, he was inside with Cole and them."

Oh, right, of course. "Oh okay, thanks."

And then I look up, on purpose of course, and lock eyes with Troy. He looks beyond surprised to see me and if this is the first time I'm seeing him tonight, I'd be surprised to, but I came over here TO see him. Well, talk to him. Sort of. I don't know. I just felt like God was pushing me over here for some reason.

So here I am. "Oh, hey."

He removed his lips from his beer bottle and shot me a small smile. "Hi."

Hannah looked at me and then at him and then back at me. "You guys know each other?"

"Sort of," I shrug.

And with that, I walk away. Because I'm trying to play hard to get. I know I wanted to talk to him, but in that moment, I knew that I didn't want to look or sound desperate so I walked away. And it's not like I'm trying to win his affection. I don't necessarily want him to like me. I just want to talk to him, maybe get to know his story a bit. Find out why his mom needs coffee dates with my mom and why all of a sudden he's in church.

Things like that, you know?

I walked back to where I was sitting with Chris and when I sat down, I looked up and saw Troy looking away from me. Mission accomplished.

"Where did you go?" Chris asks, now with a beer in his hand.

"You see that guy over there? Standing next to Hannah?" I ask him and he looks over, "He's new to my church and something's going on with him and I don't normally care, but I really want to find out what it is and why, you know?"

"Are you into him? Because from what I can see, he's not a bad looking guy..."

What? No. No. "NO," I say almost too soon that I doubt he'll even believe me. "I mean, I really don't know him. Not enough to like him. Unless you can like someone just by their looks then in that case yeah, I like him. But no, you know me. It takes me a while to like a guy so yeah, I don't like him like that."

Chris gives me a weird look. Yeah, I know I'm rambling.

And I only ramble when I'm nervous or whatever, but honestly, I don't like Troy Bolton.

"Okay, Gabriella," Chris laughs, "why don't you go talk to him then? Get to know him, find out his secret or whatever."

But I don't. I just sit here with Chris while some of our friends joined us and we talked and I stared from afar as he was laughing with some girl and some guy and even my brother at some point, but I didn't want to go over there. If he wanted to talk to me, he'd talk to me and he didn't. So.

I just sat here.

Until I had to use the bathroom.

So I got up, told Chris to save my seat and headed inside. It was a lot less crowded in here. Obviously. So I quickly made my way through her house and once I turned the corner, I stopped in my tracks because Troy and some girl were standing along in the living room inches apart.

Please don't make out. Please don't make out.

I don't like Troy Bolton. I don't. But there's this weird attraction towards him. And I can't explain it.

"Troy," the girl said trying to take the red cup out of his hand, "give it to me."

"No," Troy slurred out.

She looked upset now. She was no longer laughing like she was when I first took a look at them. "Seriously, give it to me. Your mom is going to be so sad and mad if she knew just how drunk you are right now."

He started chuckling, "you brought me here so don't fucking give me that, Morgaaaan."

"Troy, I'm serious. I know, I know I brought you here but you're going home and it'll kill me to see your mom hurt."

"I don't give a fuck," Troy spewed out, keeping the cup away from her, "do you know how badly she hurt me? So you know what, whatever I'm going to drink this and then get another one and another one and there's nothing you can do about it, okay?"

Oh wow. I shouldn't be listening. I shouldn't be listening to this at all.

This is what I wanted right? I have a little insight to what their deal is now and I feel gross about it.

Morgan, that's her name right?, shook her head and surrender, "Fine, whatever. But drinking is only going to mask the pain so long. You're going to either get the fuck over it or find a healthier way to deal with this shit, Troy. I'm serious. I love you to the moon and back, but I'm so sick of it."

Troy looked her right in the eyes and grew quiet, looking down a his drink and then shook his head. "It's all just so fucked up, Morgan. I can't take it."

He's slurring and he looks upset. And she looked worried.

And I'm here listening when I definitely shouldn't. So at that moment, I turned and walked away. I couldn't hear anymore of it.

I quickly went to the other bathroom and then hurried back outside. It felt so wrong hearing that. I don't know what's causing him to drink like that or what he just can't take, but I'm not going to find out by overhearing about it at some party.

"You okay?"

I looked at Chris and nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine."

But I don't know if Troy is. And for someone I barely know, I'm worried.


	14. Chapter 14: Troy

_I miss you a lot, Troy. Call me when you get this. I want to hear your voice..._

Who the fuck does Kenzie think she is sending me this out of nowhere? Does she not know how much I've been dealing with and this is the last thing I need right now? Probably not because she's selfish and she doesn't care about anyone's needs but hers.

I don't text back. Instead I grab another beer and start chugging.

Morgan looks at me, a bit worried, but I'm fine. I can handle my liquor and I know when to stop. Or maybe not, but I'm fine.

I'm not driving, she's my ride home so who cares.

"Look, you can do whatever you want, I'm not your mom," Morgan whispers to me so the rest of the people around don't hear, "but seriously, slow it down. You don't know these people. They're going to think you're crazy and yeah. Keep it together."

Easy for her to say. She didn't just get a text from her slut ex girlfriend.

But I do keep it together. I finish my beer, I join in conversation, I laugh along to what they're staying and I stare at Gabriella from across the backyard.

She's so fucking beautiful.

And it's seriously crazy how we always run into each other. I guess her brother is dating Hannah, according to Hannah herself. And she's been sitting over by the fire pit for the past hour laughing and talking to some guy. Probably her boyfriend. Who knows. I'm not going to ask because then they're going to think I'm interested and I'm not. I'm not interested at all whatsoever.

Well, maybe a tiny bit. But I'm off girls and why should I make an exception for her? Someone I barely know.

I stopped drinking to please Morgan even though I'm already drunk so it doesn't even matter. Morgan's spending the night with her friend so I have to go home which I'm not exactly thrilled about.

But whatever. I'm fine. And I'll be fine when I get home.

Okay, probably not. But who cares. My mom should expect this. And I'm not hurting anyone- physically. So yeah, who cares.

"You ready?" Morgan nudges me.

I'm too busy looking at Gabriella to even really answer so she nudges me again and this time she has my undivided attention. "What? Oh yeah, sure if you want." I was tired but I still wanted to stay here and stare at her. In a non creepy way.

And before I knew it, I was walking past Gabriella, looking right into her eyes and in the next moment, I was being pushed into Morgan's car.

Then, all I really remember is Morgan telling me plans have changed.

And then I'm snuggling up in her bed, passed out.

* * *

><p>"Get up!" Morgan hits me with a pillow, "I'm starving and we're gonna go get some breakfast."<p>

"Stop shouting!"

She hits me again and then walks away to her dress to spray some perfume.

I looked over at my phone, my eyes half opened, and saw that it was 9 o'clock. 9. Why the fuck is she waking me up so early on a Saturday? This is my time to sleep in. This is HER time to sleep in, too. What the fuck. I'm tired. I'm hungover. I don't want food right now. That's actually the last thing I want.

"Come on," she turns around, all ready, "get up. You owe me."

Owe her? Ugh. "Yeah, yeah, but can't I owe you at like 11 or something?" I turned around and closed my eyes.

She comes over and shouts, "NO."

And now I'm up. I quickly get out of bed, rub my eyes, stretch my arms and then head over to the bathroom to wash my face. I look horrible and I don't remember much from last night which probably isn't good, but whatever.

It's nothing new.

I come back to her room and Morgan's sitting on her desk typing away at her laptop.

She glances over at me and then closes it. "Well, well, well, if it isn't drunk Troy Bolton. Thanks a lot man. I had to change my plans because I didn't want your mom seeing you so hammered. Ugh. I'm mad at you."

"I don't feel bad for you," I shake my hair a bit, "you're the one who made me go with you."

"Yeah! But I told you to take it easy and you don't," she shakes her head, "what the heck got into you?"

Whatever. I rolled my eyes and went over and grabbed a fresh shirt and put it on as she went over to her closet and grabbed some shoes for her. I then grabbed my phone and texted me mom. I don't want her to worry too much.

I sighed and then turned to Morgan. "Kenzie texted me and I think that just set me off and it's a dumb reason, but whatever."

Morgan turned around and looked at me and you could tell she felt a little bad. "Kenzie's a bitch. She has no reason to text you. But also, you're almost 18 years old Troy. Grow up a little."

"I'm trying!" I shout as I get up off her bed, "I'm trying, Morgan. It's just hard, okay?"

It's hard walking the halls of school and seeing the girl you thought you were so madly and deeply in love with. It's hard coming home and only seeing one of your parents and not both or your sister that you grew up with. It's just hard. My life is totally different now and I'm trying to get used to it, but I don't want to, because it's not the life I want to be living. I really don't. I'm grateful to be alive and healthy, and I don't want to die, but I want my old life back. Badly.

Morgan sighed and came over to me. "I get it. I get you're hurting, but you can't live your life like this forever, okay? Is that what you want?"

"No," I shake my head. It's definitely not what I want. Ugh.

"Come on, let's go get some breakfast and just forget all about it." She tells me, going over to grab her purse, "and then we'll grab some pinkberry or some ice cream and come back and watch Superbad or any of your favorite movies."

I smiled at her and nodded. It sounded great.

* * *

><p>For the past few weeks, I'd have no problem getting up at 8 and getting ready for church.<p>

I didn't mind.

But today, I just didn't want to be here.

And it's probably because Kenzie texted me this morning at 7:40 fucking 5 and asked if I wanted to get some lunch later so we could talk since we left things a little rocky. Uhhh... ya think? Maybe because you slept with someone else... on our fucking anniversary. Like, is she serious?

It got me mad. And ugh, it just put me in a bad mood.

My mom thinks I might have anger problems and maybe I should see someone because of it but I get mad and offended at that, which yes, I'm probably proving her point. But I never feel like hitting anyone so do I really have a problem?

Whatever. I'm not going. I'm fine. Okay, no, I'm not fine, I'm mad at the world but I don't need to talk to anyone about it. Especially a complete stranger.

"Can you lighten up a bit? You're in the house of God," my mom whispers in my ear as we get seated.

"Sure," I tell her.

And then I take out my phone and see another text from Kenzie. _Troy? _

Oh my gosh. Why is she so adamant about it? I didn't reply for a reason, why is she texting me again. I do not want to talk to her. She fucked Luke Hayward on our 5 month anniversary. When I was going to tell her I was in love with her. So forgive me if I don't ever want to speak to her again.

I'm not getting back with her, no way in hell. And she has to know that. People have told her. My friends. So what could she possibly want from me?

_No, thanks, _is my simple reply.

I put my phone back in my pocket and look over at The Montez's who are sliding into the pew.

They smile and say hi, my mom smiles and says hi and I sort of just smile, too. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. I'm just going to sit here for the next hour, listen to Gabriella's dad and then get out of here and go lay in bed and do nothing all day but eat a bag of chips.

So that's what I did. But my mom put my plan on hold for a little since she went downstairs to grab a cup of coffee with Karen.

And I was just gonna go wait in the car, but on my way out, Gabriella stopped me.

"Hi," she tells me with a smile on her face.

God, she was so beautiful. And if I wasn't sworn off girl, I'd probably be trying to find a discreet way to ask her out. Well, if I was old Troy. There's no way she'd go for me now. Unless she's not that good of a girl. I have seen her at two parties. I wonder if her pastor father knows about it. But whatever.

What did she want? "Hey."

She tucked some hair behind her ear, turned around for a second and then looked back at me. "How are you?"

Umm. This is kind of weird. "Good, how are you?"

We've never talked like this. That one time she give me a ride home, we didn't really ask anything personal or even tried pretending that we were on our way to being friends or anything like that. It was a ride home with short conversation about school, Laguna Beach, Chase and Sophie and that's it pretty much so the fact that she's standing in front of me and asking how I am, I mean, does she really care?

"I'm good," she smiles again and pauses for a second, "so that was crazy running into you again the other night... at Hannah's."

"It kind of was," I agree, "because I don't even really know her."

"Oh you don't?" her head perks up a bit, "what were you doing there then?"

I shrug and remember how annoying it was. I wish I hadn't gone. But I did it for Morgan so whatever. "Oh, um, my friend's sort of seeing this guy but she didn't know many people there so she wanted me to tag along and yeah, it was random."

"That girl you were with?"

"Yeah, Morgan," I tell her, "why?"

She shook her head, "Oh no, nothing. It was just random seeing you there. I feel like I keep running into you."

I sort of laughed. Because I'm still angry at everything. "Yeah, it's kinda weird."

Gabriella chuckled and then grew quiet for a few moments. she looked right into my eyes and then down at her feet and then back up at me. "Um, well, I just wanted to tell you that if you need anyone to talk to, you know about anything or just vent, um, I'm here. If you want."

Wait. "What?" I asked her, a little confused.

"No, just if anything's going on, I mean, my dad's a pastor, you can talk to me if you want."

My mom. Ugh. Yep. Her mom probably told her what's going on with me and now she's here helping her mom help my mom. What the fuck. This is the last fucking thing I want right now. People trying to help me. Especially people I don't even know. Like, I'd go to Jason and Morgan and their parents before I'd ever go to these people. They're strangers and although they seem like really nice people, I don't want them to know my problems.

And now here is this gorgeous girl offering me help as if I'm this broken bird. "I don't need your help."

She looked a little taken aback. "No, not help, just if you want to talk."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" she pestered.

And I know we're at church, but we're in the parking lot so it's okay to raise your voice right? "Gabriella, I'm FINE. I'm not a charity case. You don't need to fucking feel bad for me. Or my mom. Or anyone. I can take care of my fucking self. I don't even really know you."

Okay, no. Now she looked a little taken aback. And I felt a little bad. "Oh, um, okay."

Apologize, Troy! And I was, but she stopped me before I could.

"Um, yeah, okay, I'll see you later then," she tells me before turning around and heading to her car, jumping in and driving off.

Great, you're a freaking asshole now. Ugh. But honestly, I don't feel TOO bad about it. I mean, I would never ask someone I barely know to tell me about their problems. Like I said, I'm sure she's super nice and has advice. But it's probably advice I've heard from my mom. And for my mom to tell Karen this and for her then to tell Gabriella, I can't. It's embarrassing and I'm so over it. My mom needs to keep her mouth shut and just let me heal my way. On my time.

Whatever. I went to my car and waited for my mom and checked my texts once my phone turned back on.

_I just really miss you, Troy. Please forgive me. _

No. Fuck Kenzie. And fuck this day. I'm so freaking over it already.

And it's only 10:20. Great.


	15. Chapter 15: Gabriella

I shouldn't have said anything to Troy. I really shouldn't have.

I'm so dumb. I just felt like it was the right thing to do. And I mean, my friends always come to me for advice. So I thought I'd extend the offer. Obviously something's up with him. I overheard his conversation with Morgan. And I don't know, I just kind of felt like helping out. Sincerely. Not just because he's hot.

Helping people or just hearing them out is something I'm good at so I don't know, I didn't think it'd blow up in my face like that.

I never would have done that if I didn't overhear that conversation. But then again, now that I think about, what business do I have giving him advice? I'm not perfect. I don't have answers to everything. So you know what, maybe it's good he told me no.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," I look up at Natalie after staring at my salad for way too long.

She didn't buy it. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, you know that guy at church? Mom's new friend's son? I feel like he's going through something and I offered help, like, I'm here if he needs to talk to me and he sort of just blew up on me. Not that much, but he raised his voice and he looked mad that I'd even ask."

"Trey or whatever?"

"Troy," I corrected her, a little mad. And I don't know why.

"Oh," she shrugged it off, "wait. Why do you want to help him? Are you guys friends?"

I shake my head and laugh a bit. "No, which is so weird. I don't know. Mom might have mentioned that they're going through stuff and then I saw him at a party and overheard his friend tell him to stop drinking and his mom's going to be disappointed or something and I don't know. So many people have told me that I give such good advice and I give them such hope and positivity so I don't know. I thought I'd extend my services or whatever. It was dumb."

Natalie looked and me and shook her head before letting out a small laugh. "Yeah, but those are your friends, Gabs. Imagine someone going up to you and asking you if there's something wrong, that they could talk to you. You'd feel so weird about it."

Yeah, I guess so. "I didn't mean to offend him or make him feel like he can't handle stuff on his own, but I don't know..."

"No, yeah, I know you didn't mean harm, you're so nice. It's just, you're practically a stranger so I'm not sure he wants you in his business."

"I know and now I feel so embarrassed that I even asked him. I know something's going on, I know that for sure," I tell her grabbing my iced tea, "but yeah, maybe I shouldn't have inserted myself."

"That's just the kind of person you are," she dips a couple of fries in ranch, "but if I were you, I'd apologize to him because you are gonna be seeing him."

She's right. I have to. But I'm embarrassed and I don't want to face him.

But yes, I have to apologize. It was out of line. I shouldn't get involved. Just like I wouldn't want him to get involved if I was going through things. Personal things. "Yeah, you're right, but he looked pretty mad. I don't even know how to start my apology."

"Just say sorry," Natalie laughed, "it's not that big of a deal."

"I guess."

"Unless you're into him," she raised an eyebrow.

What? No way. No. I don't even know him. I couldn't possibly like him. No. Yeah. No. "Nat, I barely know the guy. I've literally had like one full conversation with him. Other than that, it's been like hi, hey, here and there and that's it."

She shrugged, "Well, I don't know, you look pretty torn up about this. And I mean, he is pretty freaking attractive."

Ugh he is SO attractive. "Nat, like I said, I barely even know the guy."

"What if you get to know him?" she questions, "he's really hot. If I didn't have a boyfriend, I'm pretty sure I'd already be rejected by him."

HAAAA. I'd probably be rejected by him too, what the heck. And is it pretty judgmental to say I don't think he'd be a good boyfriend? He could have anyone. He's probably hooking up with girls every single time he goes out. Also, I'm not sure if I could get on board with the drinking and all the partying and I don't know, he has a lot of going on I think. And I'm not here to babysit my boyfriend so um no thank you.

Wait. Why am I even thinking about it. There's no way it'll ever happen. "First of all, way out of my league. And second of all, not sure we would really mesh that well together."

"Whatever," Natalie shrugs, "just saying you guys would make a hot couple."

Ugh I don't have time to think about this. I have to muster up the courage to go up to him and apologize.

I have a week, though, so whatever.

* * *

><p>"Well, I'm off," Sophie gets up from the couch and fetches her purse from the other one.<p>

What? She's seriously only been here for 20 minutes and we barely even talked, where the heck could she be going?

Sasha sat up and paused the TV, "where are you going?"

She smiled at her, put her glasses on and adjusted her purse strap on her shoulders, "I just came by to kill some time, didn't want to be at home, but I'm gonna go hang out with Chase and some of his friends, we're gonna grab some dinner or something."

"Chase?" Sasha asked, "you guys are hanging out now... like a couple?"

"Sort of," she shrugged, "it's only been a few weeks, but we're seeing how things go. He's hot."

I already knew her and Chase were hanging out, but I mean, she's gonna go have dinner with him and his friends? Isn't that a little... much? No, not much, but if I was dating a guy, I don't think I'd bring him around my friends until I knew something with him could be great, you know? My friends are important.

Oh wait... maybe she is important to him. I know they've only been hanging for like two weeks, but they've known each other for much longer than that.

"Who's going?" I ask, out of curiosity.

Sophie doesn't hesitate to tell me. She takes her phone out and reads out the names, "Jason, Troy, Brent and Karlie."

Troy. Ugh. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. For various reasons, but the number one was because I felt so bad. I felt bad that I offended him, or whatever he felt. I jumped to conclusions, maybe? I don't know. I just know he wasn't exactly happy with me so it made me feel bad.

"Oh, sounds like fun," I say, even though I don't know any of these people going.

Well, except for Troy.

She smiled at me and nodded, "yeah, I was gonna ask if you guys wanted to come, but I don't know, don't want to just bring my friends when he invited me, ya know? What if it's a time for me to get to know his friends so they can judge me or whatever?"

I probably wouldn't be welcomed, anyway, but I'm not telling her that. "No, yeah, yeah, go and have fun."

"Not too much fun, though," Sasha chimed in, "it's a school night."

Sophie rolled her eyes and laughed at her and then said bye to us and headed out the door. I got off the couch and went over to my bag and took out my textbook and notebook so we can start on our homework. Sasha looked like she couldn't be bothered, though. She was back to laying down on the couch.

But I really wanted to get this homework done. "Sash, let's do this... now."

She rolled her eyes and groaned the whole time she was getting herself up, "group projects really suck, you know..."

"Gee, thanks," I tell her. We're partners.

"Shut up, I love you, obvs," she goes over to her bag and gets out her notebook, "but like, we're on different schedules. I'd much rather do it the day before it's due, and you're wanting to do it 20 minutes after we got the assignment."

"Shut up," I tell her, who's making me look like a freak, "we got it yesterday, okay? And if you don't want to do it, fine, I'll find someone else."

She shook her head as we walked over to her dining room table, "No. You know I'm just kidding."

We sat down and got to business and she took over the writing portion because she writes neater, while I told her what to write. It was easy. And we had like a week to do it so we weren't rushing. I just like to get things started and over with before stressing and we both have time right now, so why not? We did about thirty minutes or work and then decided that was enough for today. Well, she pretty much decided for us, but I was fine with it.

"Do you know those guys Sophie went to eat with?"

"What?" Sasha looks up at me after checking her texts, "oh um, I do, actually. I went to middle school and a semester of high school with all of them."

"You think they'll like Soph?"

I'm asking, obviously, because I want to know about Troy. See if she has anything to say about him even though I shouldn't be asking. Why do I care so much about this guy's life, ya know? It's weird. But she won't question it because she knows how Soph and I are- we're protective of each other and only want the best for one another so she'll probably just think I'm trying to figure out if it'll be good for Sophie or whatever.

She put her phone down and smiled at me, "yeah, they're all really cool. Didn't you meet them?"

Oh, right. We went to that party together. "Umm, just Troy."

"Oh," is all she said.

"What?" I asked. Is that a bad "oh?"

"No, nothing," she shakes her head, "yeah, yeah, I forgot you gave him a ride home or whatever. How was that?"

Hmm, okay, I'm sort of getting a weird vibe. Like, Troy did something to her or something, I don't know. It's just a little weird and I don't know how to ask her about it. "Oh, um, it was fine. He's nice."

"Yeah, he is," she tells me looking right at me before she grabs her water and takes a sip, "I had the biggest crush on him in 8th grade."

"You did?" Okaaay, maybe now I know why I'm getting a weird vibe. Did he break her heart?

"Yeah," she laughed, "but he liked Megan Lowell and it was so sad, but I ended up sitting next to him in math, second semester and I realized we had nothing in common so it would never work anyway. I got over that pretty quickly."

Oh fuuuuuck. I have little to nothing in common with Sasha, but it's different when you're friends right? Wait. Wait. What? Why am I even thinking like that? HA. There's no way. No. I mean, okay, whatever, maybe my mind went there, but it's not there anymore. I don't know why I thought about us... together.

Respond, Gabriella, you're taking too long! "Oh. Are you guys still friends or no?"

"I've never really been close with him," she shrugs, "but he's not someone I'd want to be friends with now."

"Why not?" I ask and hope to God she doesn't think I'm asking too many questions.

She gets up and gathers her things and starts walking to the living room, so I do the exact same thing. "I don't know, he's different. Not the guy I knew back then who was sweet and nice and never go into any trouble. Now, he's a party animal, girls left and right. But that's what high school does to ya, ya know?"

I wondered if it was high school that changed him or if something else happened. And I was desperate to find out. Ugh. "Yeah, I guess."

"Let's go eat," she completely changes the subject.

Oh man. I'm in too deep. I want to know everything and I want to know now. But there's no way.

I mean, how could I?


	16. Chapter 16: Troy

"Have you looked into maybe talking to a therapist or something?" Morgan asks me as she digs into her bean and cheese burrito.

"What?" I look up at her, taking my hand away from the chips basket.

"I don't know," she shrugged, not making any eye contact with me, "it worked for my friend when her parents got divorced. And I know you have more going on. Your best friend being away at Santa Barbara, some bitch breaking your heart. But it works. Just talking to someone about everything."

Great. Now Morgan, too. Sure, she's offered to talk, but it's different with her. She knows everything.

I might have reacted a little harshly to Gabriella's offer, but I'm not a fucking charity case. And it's embarrassing that she knows about my problems.

Do I want to talk to a therapist about everything? Umm, no. Not particularly. "Morg, I'm fine. I don't need to talk to anyone."

"Are you sure?" she finally looks up at me, holding her fork out with a piece of burrito, "I mean, we're best friends and we've been best friends for SO long and you still don't talk to me about anything. You shut everyone out and it's, like, we're only trying to help you here. We want you to be better."

"I've talked to you!" I argue back, what the hell? She knows everything about everything.

"Not really," she rolls her eyes as she stuffs her mouth, "I mean, yeah, I know everything that's happened. But I don't know how you feel about it. What you think on a daily basis about everything, you know?"

What? Why does that even matter? "Do you really want to know how I'm feeling every single day?"

She chuckled, "Well, no, but I just, you tell me everything. You tell me if you talk to a girl or hook up with one, but what you fail to mention sometimes are your feelings. You keep them bottled up and you just need to vent to someone. To anyone. It doesn't have to be me."

"I don't think I'm comfortable talking to a therapist about my feelings."

"Why not?! They're sworn to secrecy and no one would know, it's, like, the best in my opinion. You can definitely trust them."

My mind shifted back to Gabriella. I'm sure her intentions were good, but I just don't know if her mom or dad put her up to this since my mom has been running her mouth to them, ya know? And I mean, I barely know her. If I were to talk to anyone, it'd be my sister. Morgan. Jason. Why would she think I'd talk to her? But I get she's just trying to do her part of being a pastor's child. I get it. And I should have reacted differently. I know that. I need to say sorry.

The idea of a therapist just freaks me out. Makes everything seem real. "I'm fine, Morg."

Morgan looked genuinely frustrated. "Talk to anyone! It doesn't have to be me. Just anyone. I think you'll feel so much better about everything."

You see, I'm not so sure about that. But I'm just going to humor her for the time being because it's better than having to hear anymore of this. "OKay, yeah, I'll think about it. Maybe you're right."

Doubt it, though. What good will talking to someone do?

* * *

><p>I didn't go out yesterday.<p>

But I did lay in bed all day pretty much, mad about so many things. Sad about stuff. And indifferent about other things.

And Morgan's voice kept popping into my head about talking to someone about everything. It doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore. I honestly don't want to live like this. Waking up every single day with so many bottled up feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, you know? It's not a good way to live at all.

So you know what? I'm taking Gabriella up on her offer... after I apologize to her first.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" I ask her after service on Sunday morning.

She turns to me and then turns back to her sister and tells her she'll see her later before giving me her undivided attention. "Sure."

Ugh. It sucks apologizing first. But I have to. I reacted too harshly and I think I might have made her feel really bad. "Um, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about last week. I shouldn't have snapped like that."

Her face softened a little bit as she pushed some hair back behind her ear, "No, actually I'm sorry. I had no business telling you that. It's not my place at all."

"No, it's fine, honestly," I tell her, trying to make her feel better, "it was just a bad morning and I took it out on you. You were just trying to be nice."

She smiled a bit and looked away for a second at her mom who was talking to some lady. And I swear, even her profile view is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. She's wearing some jeans, a white lace shirt that she covered up with a green jacket and paired it with some boot type shoes. And honestly, she can make the most casual outfit look good. I really don't know how she does it. It's insane. I've never seen a girl look so good without trying soo damn hard.

She turned back and still kept that small smile, "Well, I'm sorry, anyway. Like I said, it's not my place."

Okay, now's the time that I tell her that yeah, maybe I could use someone to talk to, but even though she has already offered, I feel weird about it. I'm, like, nervous and it's annoying. "I mean, maybe I could use someone to talk to."

"Are you sure?" she says right away, "you don't have to try to make me feel better. I promise I'm fine, I shouldn't..."

"No," I interrupt her, shaking my head a bit "no, it's fine. I thought about it and I mean, I do have a lot on my mind and I'm not talking to any of my friends about it, so why not? Maybe it could be good for me."

"You sure?" she asks for the second time.

"Yes," I give her a small smile, "but I'm not sure I will be later so if you're still up for it, you better decide now and let me know."

She sort of laughed and nodded, "Okay, yeah, well, whenever you want to, I'm there."

Whenever I want? Hmm. I'm free today. I'm sure she isn't. I'm sure I have to book in advance if I want to hang out with her. Cause I mean, what guy OR girl wouldn't want to hang out with her? "Oh, well, whenever. I'm free today if you are. Or whenever you want."

"I'm free," she says, "actually, I was going to take my dog to the dog beach in Huntington if you want to tag along."

"Yeah, sure," I tell her, "that sounds like fun."

It actually does. So we agree to go in about an hour or so after we have some breakfast and get changed to go to the beach. I head to my car and since my mom drove her own car today, I didn't have to wait for her or anything like that. And she went to hers. I gave her my address and phone number and she told me she'd text when she was on her way to pick me up. I couldn't believe I was actually going to hang out with her... and talk about all my feelings.

I just hope to God I don't chicken out.

* * *

><p>"I'm not an alcoholic or anything," I start off by telling her since she told me she offered to hear me out after overhearing mine and Morgan's conversation at that one party we were both at, "but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been drinking a lot these past few months."<p>

She nodded, just looking from me to her dog in the ocean, "why are you drinking?"

I take a deep breath as I muster up the courage to tell her my new life story. "My parents are recently divorced and it's been really hard on me."

"Yeah, I figured they were," she says softly, "did you expect it?"

"No," I shake my head, "not at all. We were the perfect little family. My mom, my dad, my sister, and I. And I mean, we had dinner mostly every night. My dad would coach my games. My mom would pack every lunch. As busy as they were, they made their family a priority and honestly I had the best family life. I couldn't complain about anything. I'm not even exaggerating when I say that I felt like we had the perfect family. I just felt.. safe. And content. And happy"

"So what?" she asks as she digs her feet into the sand, "you party and drink to forget all about it? And how recently are we talking about? A year or months?"

That's exactly what I do and it's fucking embarrassing. "They've officially been divorced for a year now."

She stayed silent for a moment, probably taking it in. I mean, I know she offered, but still, it's probably a lot to take in. And then as she grabbed some sand and sprinkled it around her, she spoke up. "And how are you feeling about it?"

"It's different every day," I shrug.

"Different everyday?" she repeats as if she didn't hear me.

"Yeah," I shrug, "some days I'm not that angry about it, I go about my day, I have fun. Other days, it's all I think about and get mad about how it became like this. Or I get sad and shut everyone out. I won't talk to my mom. Or I'll ignore my dad. It honestly just depends. It's different every day."

She then gets apologizes to me and gets up to go to her dog who was chasing after another dog.

And once she broke them apart and got her dog under control, she got her feet into the water and her dog was right next to her jumping and playing around.

She'd toss a bit of water in the air and he'd tried to jump and get it which made her laugh and smile at him. She was petting him all over while he tried to cover her in dog kisses. And once she tried to walk away, he would chase after her which made her go back to him and play a bit more. She'd throw his ball into the water and he'd fetch it and bring it back... numerous of times.

And watching her have that much fun with her dog, the smile on her face, how happy the dog was, everything about it...

Made me insanely attracted to her.

To the point where I wanted to break this no dating girls rule.

But let's be honest here. She'd never go for a guy like me. I don't know much about her so I can't say I like her, but I am interested. And since I don't know much about her, I don't know what she deserves, but I just have a feeling she deserves someone way better than me. Someone who has their shit together.

She came back, though, interrupting my thoughts and sat back down. "Sorry about that."

"No, it's okay."

"How are you feeling today?" she asks as she dries her hands on the towel.

Today? Well, right now. I'm great. I'm sitting next to the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen and her dog ain't bad either, ha. But I know that's not what she means. "I'm fine. Sundays I try my best to just suck it up and put it all to the back of my mind for the day."

She nods and then grabs her water bottle and takes a sip, "it's completely okay to not have it together, you know? Everyone copes differently."

"I know," I agree, "I just think my parents think I'm kinda being dramatic about it. And maybe I am. But I don't know what else to really do. Drinking literally makes me forget about everything. Going out does, too."

"It's easy for people to tell you to get over it when they're not the ones experiencing it, you know? But we all move at our own pace."

"Exactly," oh my gosh, she's not making this easy on me. Does she want me to like her or something? "I mean, I don't think I'll always be angry and bitter about it all, I hope to God, but I do know I need time to get there and my parents just don't really get that, which is frustrating at times."

She gives me a small smile as she runs her hands through the sand, "what do your parents think about everything?"

About everything? I don't know if I really wanted to get into it.

I mean, yeah, I'm telling her things, but I thought it'd mostly be about my feelings, though. I never anticipated going into detail the day I found out, blah blah blah. Not that she's asking, but still. It could lead in that direction. And I'm not sure I want that.

"I'm not sure," I lie.

And I hate it because I'm into her. I'm so into her.


	17. Chapter 17: Gabriella

I honestly didn't expect my day to turn out like this, but strangely, I wouldn't change it at all.

Troy, he's... he's hurt. And I feel sad for him. Not bad, but sad. I know he has it made compared to other children of divorce. He still sees both his parents, they're still involved in his life and stuff so I can't feel too sorry for him. Maybe he feels sorry for himself but that's his problem, not mine.

What I do try to do is not judge.

I mean, we all have opinions, but I try my hardest not to voice them unless it's appropriate to. I wouldn't want someone judging me, so I try not to judge.

"Are they on amicable terms or do you feel torn between them?" I ask him.

"No, I don't," he shakes his head, "which is what makes it even harder for me. I see them being friendly with each other, calling each other, my dad stopping by to talk or whatever and I know they're still divorced, but it gives me hope and I know it's useless to get my hopes up."

"Why do you think it's useless? You don't see it working out?"

He shrugs, "Well, I thought it was forever so it's hard to see that anymore, but I honestly think they're just putting up a show for me and it's working. It's definitely getting my hopes up and it sucks."

Hmm yeah, I can see that being confusing. "Yeah, maybe they think it'll be easier for you so why don't you talk to them and tell them you don't really like it?"

"Maybe I should," he looks interested in the idea, "I just don't really know how to cordially talk to them these days, it always ends in an argument, something to that nature and it sucks because that's the last thing I want to do. I don't want to fight with my parents or be at odds with them in anyway, you know?"

"Yeah, well do what you need to do," I tell him, "I'm just here to hear you out."

And it's true. I don't think I should put forth any input if he doesn't ask me. I don't want to overstep my boundaries. I'd like it if he trusted me.

He smiled at me and looked out into the ocean and my God, his profile view is sooo beautiful, it's almost insane. Like, how can one man be this good looking? I don't understand and it makes me so annoyed at the same time.

"I just don't really know how to talk to my friends about it," he admits after moments of silence, "it's hard."

"How come?" I'm genuinely interested.

"They've seen the way I've grown up," he shrugs, "I guess I just feel embarrassed, maybe, which is crazy because they're my friends. But maybe that's why I've been just shutting everyone out in that sense. It's hard to just be open about the whole thing when they've seen how great we've been as a family."

That makes sense. And I totally get it. And understand it. Maybe it's been talking to somewhat of a stranger about it.

I'm happy he trusts me. It makes me feel good. "That's understandable, but I've learned that it's nothing to really be ashamed about."

"You've learned?"

Shit. Did I say that? "Not learned, but you know what I mean."

He nodded, "No, yeah, yeah. I know. It's just not easy. I never really bragged about having this perfect family life, but I was proud of it. I was proud of how my mom and my dad seemed to have it all- their own respective careers that kept them going, but at the end of the day, they'd come back together and eat dinner with their kids and turn off work mode, you know? And it was like that for, like, 15 years. I don't know any different so it's just been extremely hard."

I get it and I feel really sad for him, but at some point, he has to move on from it. And I think it'll just take time. That's all it is. "Letting it all out is good, but also just letting time pass. That's also good."

"Yeah, I guess so," I'm not sure if he believes me, but I don't know if I believe myself. I don't know how their family dynamic was.

"Well, I'm here for whatever you need to talk about," I dust sand off my hands, "my friends tell me I'm the best listener."

He laughed and started petting Bella who was now sitting in between us underneath her chin, and it's crazy because that's her weak spot. She LOVED being pet there and I'm pretty sure she won't let him stop now. "No, yeah, thanks. I really appreciate it."

I would have done this any time.

Not only because I like helping people, but because I've come to the conclusion that I'm insanely attracted to him.

* * *

><p>"Hey, I'm going over to Chase's house for a BBQ, you wanna come?"<p>

I immediately turned to Sophie while I stuffed my face with strawberries. She's been here for an hour! Why didn't she tell me sooner? "What?"

She was strutting into the living room with a completely different outfit on than she has 5 minutes ago. She went upstairs to my room to change? I thought she was just using the bathroom or something. "Yeah, he's having a BBQ, grilling, swimming, it'll be fun. You wanna go? I'm leaving in about twenty."

"How come you're just NOW mentioning it?'

"Slipped my mind. We were busy doing some homework," she shrugged, "you want to or not?"

I mean, I know for sure, I'll be able to see Troy, who I'm guessing will be there but I don't want to make it obvious I'm going for him. And also, what are the chances we're gonna sit around and chat? not likely. They're his friends. He's gonna hang out and have fun and Sophie will be with Chase and I'll probably end up alone in a corner so yeah, I think I'll sit this one out.

Shaking my head, I grab another strawberry, "nah, I'm fine. I'll probably not have the best of time. You have fun."

"Gabs," she groans a bit, "I want you to come. If things go well, I could be apart of this group and everything will just feel easier if you were there with me."

"Why? So you could hang out with Chase without actually ditching me?"

"Shut up," she laughs, "no, because you're my best friend and I want to hang out with you and them and all my friends. That would be ideal. Merging our two groups together, but since it's way too early for that, I thought I'd start with you. They're a lot of fun. And they're all so nice."

I'm sure they are, but if I were to go, I'd have to take someone else with me.

And no Sasha because she knows them so she'd obviously talk to them and probably leave me sitting alone. "I'll go to the next hang out and I'll bring Paige."

Sophie rolled her eyes, "fine, but you're gonna miss out on all the fun. Chase has super hot guy friends."

YEAH I KNOW. I secretly hung out with one last Sunday at the dog beach. I'm aware. But I'm not telling anyone about that. Because well, the talk is private and if I told her I talked to him, she'd think more of it and I wouldn't be able to tell her the real reason, you know? So yeah, no one knows.

"Yeah, like who?" I wanted to see if she'd name him.

"Like Owen," she names and I've never even heard of him, "or Tommy, who's really cute."

"I've never even heard you mention them," I tell her, taking my feet off the coffee table. And she's talked about his friends before.

She chuckled and reached for a strawberry, "well, I just met Owen the other day and he's good looking. I don't know, seriously all his friends are nice. You met Brent. He's pretty nice. Umm Jason. Troy, who's probably the most attractive, but I think he has shit going on so I don't know about that. Nice, though."

Okay, my ears perked up when she mentioned Troy. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I mean, I went to his house a few days ago and Troy was there with some girl and they were like arguing about something. Megan's her name maybe. Anyway, I asked what it was about, like I thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend and maybe they're on the verge of breaking up. You know that interests me. But Chase just said they weren't together and that he just got out a relationship that ended pretty badly so a girlfriend is not ideal right now."

"Oh," is all I really said. I mean what could I say?

Not that I thought anything would happen with Troy and I, he's way out of my league but this just bummed me out a bit. Not only is he dealing with family shit, but he had a hard breakup? Yeah, so definitely not going there with him... not like I was, but you know what I mean.

Staying away is the best thing, probably. I couldn't risk my feelings growing for him when he's in no position to date. Yeah, no, thanks. I'll pass.

Sophie grabbed another strawberry and bit through half of it, "Promise me you'll come next time?"

"Promise," I tell her, even though I don't really want to anymore.

"Can you believe Chase and I are actually hanging out?" she says, "I mean, like as more than friends. Obviously we've been friends for a while, but I can't believe it's actually happening."

"I know, since you had the biggest crush on him!" I laugh. It's funny how things work out.

She laughed, probably embarrassed. She never tried making a move, but I think she definitely dropped hints about it. "It's just so crazy how time changes things you know? I seriously one day just stopped crushing on him, well because I started dating Landon, and then out of nowhere, he's back in my life."

It is crazy how things like that happen. "Well, maybe it's meant to me, you never know... you could end up marrying him!"

"Oh, God," she leaned back, "I don't even want to think about that. It's going good right now, let's not jinx it."

"Okay, fine," I dropped it.

And then leaned back and thought about Troy.

It's been a week since I've seen him and although I'm sure I'll see him tomorrow, I was bummed that's all I'd be doing- seeing him. I doubt we'll converse. Like, what's there to say? I'm sure talking about his feelings was a one time thing. It'll probably just be a hi and bye situation from now on. I don't know.

But that doesn't mean I can't think about him... and how beautiful he is.

* * *

><p>Okay, I couldn't have been more wrong about talking to Troy. Like, I was crazy wrong.<p>

Why? Oh because I'm currently sitting across from him at breakfast.

Yes, breakfast!

After church was over, it was just my mom and I today, she asked Kathy if her and Troy wanted to grab some breakfast. She included Troy because well, she knew they came together and my mom and I had breakfast plans. She didn't exactly want me to be the third wheel with her and her new friend.

I wouldn't have cared. It probably would have been less awkward. Not that it's awkward, it just doesn't seem like he wants to be here, even though he's being nice and answering all of my mom's questions.

Seriously, this lady has so many questions. I'm not sure how she can even come up with that many to be honest.

"What do you like to do for fun, are you into any sports?" my mom asks as she cuts a piece of her ham and shoves it in her mouth.

Troy wiped his mouth and took a sip of his orange juice before answering her, "um, hang out with friends. I like going down to the beach, that's always fun. And I played basketball for most of my life, recently stopped though."

My mom knew when to stop and not push it, thank God. I'm assuming he stopped because of all the issues going on. "Oh, I love the beach. So relaxing."

His mom then asked me some questions and I swear for a split second, I sensed that they were trying to hook us up. But my mom wouldn't do that. I mean, yeah, she would love to play matchmaker but she'd never blindside me about it. She'd let me know that she was trying to hook me up with someone.

So yeah, never mind, it was just her wanting get a sense of who I am, I guess.

The rest of breakfast was fine. It was mainly them each asking us questions. Troy and I conversed, but it wasn't much. It was all very simple and light.

"Ooh, let's go to Nordstrom really quick," Kathy told my mom as we exited the restaurant.

"I've been looking for some new workout shoes," my mom happily grinned.

What the heck? Sure, we were at the mall, but that didn't mean I wanted to go shopping, which was weird since I'm always down to shop. But I want to get home, finish some homework and then go over to Chris' for a BBQ with all of my friends for his birthday so uh... yeah, I don't want to shop.

And knowing my mom, once she gets going, it's hard for her to shop at just Nordstrom. "Mom, I have to get home."

She looks over at me and I can tell she's torn. "Oh, but Gabs, we're already here..."

"I know, but I have things to do."

Troy and Kathy sort of just stood there, probably feeling a bit uncomfortable. I mean, we weren't shouting or anything, but they could probably sense I was kind of annoyed by the whole thing. especially since my mom knows I have things to do and I wasn't really down to go to breakfast to begin with.

She sighed and then turned to Kathy and I knew she was about to tell her that she couldn't go.

But Kathy stepped in, "I'm sure Troy doesn't want to stay either, maybe you two can leave and he can give you a ride home?"

Oh crap. This is what I'm trying to avoid. Not being around him. I obviously don't want to, but it's probably for the best. As fucked up as his life may be, or he may be, he's insanely attractive and a nice guy. Why wouldn't I like that right off the bat, you know? Ugh.

I shouldn't say yes. I shouldn't, huh? No...

"Sounds wonderful!" my mom claps her hands together, "thanks so much, Troy."

"Yeah, yeah," he tells her, giving her a small smile, "I don't mind at all."

And before I know it, we were off. My mom and Kathy went to Nordstrom and Troy and I headed to his car in the parking structure.

I suddenly felt nervous as he backed up the car and made his way out of the structure. It wasn't a far drive so I wasn't worried about the lack of conversation but I don't know, I just felt nervous. Butterflies, maybe. It's honestly so annoying. I think this just means I'm into him. Which yeah, I already knew I was.

Troy turned down the radio a bit as he glanced over at me, "where do I go?"

"Oh, sorry," I completely forgot to give him directions. I was too busy dealing with these nerves. "Umm, take a right on PCH and then turn on Dover."

"Okay," he says, following my directions and taking the appropriate street to get to PCH, "I know I thanked you already, but I wanted to say thanks again for the other day. It was very therapeutic."

Awww. I felt happy for him. And I felt proud. Being able to help someone gives me such a rush. People often tell me I should be a therapist and you know what? I think I'm kind of down for that. "Oh, it was no problem. I'm a pretty good listener. But um, I'm glad."

He then turned on PCH before glancing back at me. "Where were you yesterday?"

Huh, yesterday? "What?"

"I thought you were coming to Chase's BBQ."

"What?" I repeated myself like an idiot, "Oh, no. I mean, no, Sophie told me about it, but the day of."

"Oh," he sounded a bit... disappointed? No. No way. I'm over thinking it. I'm just hearing what I want to hear. Or completely imagining it. "Yeah, Chase just said Sophie was coming and he mentioned she was bringing you."

That's weird. Maybe Sophie just told him she was coming with me thinking I'd say yes before she even asked. "Yeah, I was just busy."

He nodded, "yeah, well, there'll be other BBQ's soon."

What? Why is he saying this? Does he want me to hang out with his friends and tag along with Sophie or something? Am I going crazy? NO. He's basically saying there will be other BBQ's I can go to soon which is WEIRD. Why would I go? Just because Sophie and Chase are something? Does he want me to go?

Ah I'm gonna go crazy just thinking about this. "yeah, I'm sure."

Gaaaah. What does this mean?


	18. Chapter 18: Troy

Why couldn't I stop thinking about Gabriella?

Seriously. I've been laying in bed stalking her instagram for the past hour. I've gone through all her 500 pictures all while making sure to not accidentally like any of the pictures. Especially the pictures from over a year ago. Because that would be terribly embarrassing. And I'd never be able to face her again.

She doesn't post excessively. But she's had this thing for over two years so it's understandable she has 500 pictures. And I mean, she seems popular...

Actually, I'm pretty sure she is. She posted a picture of her at lunch at school one day and her table was seriously filled with like 14 girls and 10 guys. So ya, she is definitely popular. Who has that many people in their lunch group?

It doesn't surprise me, to be honest. She seems like a very nice girl who's normal and down to earth, who likes to have fun.

What I'm actually kind of happy about is that it doesn't seem like she has a boyfriend. Unless she just doesn't post pictures of them together. Who knows.

That guy she was with at that one party I saw her at, who she was with basically all night, is in a lot of her instagram pictures, but it seems like they're just best friends. She'll caption the picture "best friend" or whatever. And the comments also give it away that they're not dating. Someone said that they should date and Gabriella was all like, "shut up, that's weird." So you know, I kind of feel a little more at ease.

Even though I will probably never have her. She's a hot commodity. I'm sure guys are chasing her right and left. Why would she ever want me?

"Dude, come on, let's go..."

I immediately put down my phone and sit up as Chase and Jason barge into my room.

Wait. what? Go where? "What? Where?"

Chase gives me a weird look, like, wondering what the hell I was just doing and Jason seems oblivious about anything. "Chad's grilling and having a party. You said you wanted to go so we're here to pick you up."

Oh right. Right. Chad's birthday BBQ. He's a good buddy of mine but if he wasn't, I'd still be able to go. That guy lets anyone into his house.

"Is it just us?" I try to ask discreetly. I have to wonder if Sophie's coming.

"Yeah," Chase nods, taking the bait, "Soph has to babysit so she can't come to this one, which sucks, but whatever."

Chase is reaalllly into Sophie. He's a jock, a star athlete, popular and can have any girl he wants. But he's the greatest boyfriend. Loyal, always there for you, makes time to hang out with you. And he's so open with everything. He doesn't care about his reputation. If someone thinks he's whipped or sprung, he'll most likely agree with them cause typically he is. And I'm happy for him. He balances his friends and Sophie pretty well and that's always a good thing.

I got off my bed and walked over to my desk to put my phone to charge for a minute or two before we left. "You're really into her, huh?"

"Yeah, man," see, he has no problem admitting to it, "she's just... different. I don't know if it's a Newport/Laguna thing, which is crazy if you think about it, because they're both close and both have the same reputation kind of, but she's different than girls here."

"And also, cause you had a huge crush on her and you finally made a move so it's like you feel proud of yourself, you know?"

He laughed and nodded, "yeah, yeah, you're right. I don't know. Things are good right now."

I'm happy for him but a little bummed about it at the same time. He has his shit together, his parents are still together, he has a beautiful girl, he's playing basketball and just everything. He has in life in order and I'm just... here. Trying to figure everything out, not knowing if I ever actually will figure it out.

Jason got up from the end of my bed and clapped his hands once, "okay, let's go. I wanna go swimming in his pool before it's too late to do so."

So off we went...

* * *

><p>"Yeah, I haven't really decided on a theme yet, but it'll be fun."<p>

"Of course, your parties always are," I tell my friend Britt, who's standing with me at the bar making herself a drink.

I haven't drank anything. I drove here, but if I did end up drinking, I'd obviously just leave it here and call someone or ask for a ride home. But I just don't feel like drinking. And it's such a weird thing for me to think or actually do because lately, that's all I've been wanting to do. But today, I just don't want to.

And once Britt finished her drink, she turned back to me and gave me a small smile. "How are you doing?"

She's talking about Kenzie. Britt's a good friend of mine, but she's also a friend of Kenzie's. She's not necessarily stuck in the middle, but you know, I'm sure she has to ask. Or wants to know. "I'm fine. I am."

"I keep telling her to just leave you alone, to stop texting you, but you know Kenz. She does whatever she wants, whenever she wants."

"Oh, I know..." I roll my eyes.

"Ah, I didn't mean it like that," she tried to backtrack, "no, okay, you're right."

Kenzie cheated on me. Point blank. I don't need sympathy from anyone. I don't want sympathy from anyone. I just don't want to talk about it with anyone. I'm over it. And they should be, too. But I'm not going to yell at Britt for wanting to know. For caring or whatever. It is what it is. I'm just over it all.

Britt started talking again, but my mind completely just shut her out.

I was too busy looking at Gabriella.

Yes, Gabriella Montez, who was currently walking through the backdoor with Sophie and two other people. That guy from her pictures. And a girl I didn't recognize. No way. She's here? I thought Sophie wasn't coming? Oh my gosh. I can't believe she's here.

"Troy!" Britt waves a hand over my face.

"Oh, sorry," I snap out of it and look back at her. "Sorry."

She looks to where I was looking and then turns back to me and smiles. "Which one are you into? Or which one do you know?"

What? Is it THAT obvious? "No, no, I just know them, that's all. And I didn't expect them to come."

Which isn't a lie at all. But shit. Now what? Do I talk to her? Am I going to be able to talk to her now that I know I'm completely interested? I'm not typically shy, but I can't help but feel shy around her. I feel like I can't say anything dumb or unintelligent around her and that's why I'm so nervous around her.

"Oh okay," Britt shrugs it off, "I'll talk to you later. I have to find Carissa."

She was off. And I was left alone standing by the bar. Shit. I quickly walked away and made my over to where Jason and my friends were.

And as I sat down next to him, I looked back at her. She looked so good. Her hair was down and in loose curls, it looked natural, she had a white flowy dress on and some of those strappy sandals and a purse that draped across her body, like an over the shoulder bag. I don't know, all I know is she looked beautiful.

Before I knew it, though, Chase was standing in front of me with a beer in his hand and telling me something.

And then all of a sudden, two hands snaked around him and embraced him in a hug. It was Sophie, of course. And they were saying hi to each other for the first time tonight. And of course it was right in front of me.

I turned to Gabriella who was standing there next to this guy and she was pushing some hair behind her ear, looking beautiful as usual. Stunning, actually.

This is the part where I should probably say hi, right? Yeah. "Hey."

"Hey, how are you?" she asked and I know it had deeper meaning than it usually does when someone asks and I actually appreciated it.

"I'm good," I smile at her and then look over to her friend who's kind of just standing there, "hey, I'm Troy."

He smiles at me, "Hey, I'm Chris."

Chris. I don't know this guy at all, but I do know that they were together all night at that party I saw her at. I wasn't drunk enough to not remember that. They sat together the whole night pretty much and laughed. Who knows if this is her boyfriend, but if it is, he seems nice. Just by the way he handled some guy talking to her. I don't know, it's weird to explain. He just seems like a nice guy so good for her.

"Do you guys want something to drink?" Chase asked all of them, "come on, Troy help me out with them, yeah?"

I got up as soon as I said that and we all followed Chase inside the house. Drinks were inside, everything else was outside. It wasn't our house, but we were comfortable enough here. Chad's a good friend of ours, but even if he wasn't, he's SUPER nice. He would let anyone in his house to make drinks.

We all crowded around the kitchen, with Chase taking the lead of course.

"Chris, you want anything?"

"Yeah, I'll just take a beer," he shrugged, "whatever there is."

"Gabriella and I aren't drinking," Sophie announces, "but I'll take a water if you have one."

Meanwhile, Gabriella is just standing there on her phone looking preoccupied. I knew she wouldn't be drinking and I have no idea why Chase asked me to help him since I'm sure they're capable of getting their own drinks, but here I am and I feel a little weird about it. Don't really know what to say or do.

So Chase speaks up. "You guys hungry? We're grilling outside. I'm so glad you guys came, didn't think you were."

"Me neither, but I got out of babysitting and thought I'd surprise you," Sophie told him looking up at him all lovingly. These two were something else.

And then as we were all gonna head back outside, Gabriella said she'd catch up with us as she put her phone to her ear, about to make a call. So we left her in there as we all went out to grab some food.

"Troy!" Morgan calls out to me as she arrives with her friend Katie.

"Hey," I gave her a hug and then gave Katie one, too. "nice of you guys to show up."

Morgan rolled her eyes. She said she'd be here 40 minutes ago, but whatever. It's Morgan, I should expect that. "I had to put gas and then pick up Katie so shut..." she stopped talking for a moment and looked straight behind me and a small smile appeared on her face. "Umm, who is that?"

I turned around and saw Sophie there with Chase, but by the smile on her face I knew she was talking about Chris who was next to Sophie. "Oh um, that's Chase's girlfriend's, actually I don't think she's his girlfriend yet. I don't know. Either way, it's her friend. His name's Chris."

"Chris," she whispered out, "he's hot."

"He's a good looking guy," I agree with her, "let me do some investigating and figure out if he has a girlfriend."

Morgan gives me a smile, silently thanking me for being the best friend I could be. She's not shy so if he doesn't have a girlfriend, she'll march right up to him and talk to him. And I know she wants to, especially since it didn't work out with that guy she was talking to whose party she dragged me to.

I walk away from them and go inside to where Gabriella is. I have to find a discreet way or asking her if they're together or not... for Morgan, of course.

And a little bit for me.

Gabriella was in the living room when I walked in but she was getting up off the couch and putting her phone away in her purse. I pretended I was grabbing some stuff in the kitchen and when she walked by, I called out to her.

She stopped, turned to me and gave me a small smile. "Oh hey. What're you doing?"

I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a water bottle, trying to think quickly. "Oh just grabbing something to eat. Is everything fine?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything's good," she informs me and I want to know more, but I don't want to pry.

"Oh okay. Well, Sophie and your boyfriend are outside grabbing some food," I tell her hoping to God it's not so obvious that I want her confirm or not that he is her boyfriend. I mean, if she doesn't correct me, he is her boyfriend, right? But if she does, how will she go about it?

She made a face at me, but then changed it to a small smile and was about to walk out, but I quickly stopped her because I wanted to know what the face was for. Like, why did that earn a weird face from her?

Gabriella shook her head, "No, nothing, you called Chris my boyfriend and that's gross because he's like my brother. Sorry."

Oh thank God. They're not together. Good. I mean, good for Morgan. I'm off girls. Except I don't think I can be off Gabriella. I seriously can't stop thinking about her when I'm away from her which is almost all the time. "Oh I'm sorry, I just assumed."

"It's okay," she tells me as she pushes some hair behind her ear, "don't worry about it."

So I didn't. I closed the fridge, grabbed my phone I had put down on the counter and followed her out to where everyone was with a smile on my face.

She doesn't have a boyfriend.


	19. Chapter 19: Gabriella

I came to this BBQ just to see Troy. I mean, why else would I come? To hang out with Sophie's boyfriend's friends? As a good best friend, the answer should probably be yes, but it's... not. No, yeah, I want to be cordial and get to know them for Sophie's sake, but right now, all I kind of want to do is hang out with Troy. And I don't even care if he's broken or hurt or has a lot going on that it's probably not a good idea, but I can't help myself. I find myself thinking about him and wanting to see him and it's absolutely crazy. I barely know him.

But I do know he's incredibly attractive and he's been nothing but nice to me. He opened up to me. And I love that.

"Hey, you hungry?" Chris asks as he shoved some chips in his mouth, "this burger is SO good."

I sat down next to him and nodded, "yeah, I'll eat in a little bit."

He, of course, noticed something was wrong right away. "Hey, what's wrong? Who were you talking to?"

"My mom. My grandpa's in the hospital again and they don't really know what's wrong so no one's visiting yet, but it just sucks," I tell him, "second time this month. And he's not even that old. It's scary."

"Yeah, but he'll be all right," he assures me even though we both don't know if he will, it's just something you say to someone. "Just pray and pray and pray."

"No, yeah, I will, it just sucks," but I don't want this to be sad. We're at a BBQ for Sophie. To get to know the people she's been hanging out with so I gotta suck it up and just try to have fun. "Hey, Soph, what time is Jasmine's thing?"

She looked down at her watch, "it's at 7 so we should leave here around 6:30, yeah? Is that fine?"

No, yeah, that's perfect. It's 4. We got here late and I guess two hours is fine here. It's a long time for Chris and I, but I feel like we're both friendly people so it shouldn't be a problem being here with practically strangers for that long. Our friend is having a dinner so we have to go to that.

I looked around the place, there were people in the pool, people playing ping pong in the corner, people just standing around talking, people sitting down at tables like us. There were quite a bit of people here.

And then I saw Troy who was taking a sip of his water and talking to some girls. The girl he was with at the party that one night and two blondes.

Morgan, I think was her name, was laughing as she put her hand on Troy's shoulder. Yes, I remember her name. I'm good with names and it's easier if the name has some significance. In this case, it was the girl who is close to Troy who told him to come over and cuddle. He called her his friend so maybe their dynamic is like Chris and I? But doubt it, I feel like Chris and I are the only two people in the world who can act like that.

Before they catch me staring, I turn back to Chris and engage in conversation with him since Chase and Sophie are too busy talking to each other, but then out of the corner of my eye, I see Troy coming towards us with that girl.

"Hey, mind if we sit down?"

I shook my head. Of course I don't. "No, yeah, go ahead."

Chase turned to them and said hi to that girl. Her name was Morgan. I knew it.

And now Troy's sitting across from me, Morgan is sitting across from Chris and Sophie and Chase are seated next to each other. Kind of. Chase is at the end of the table so they're diagonal from each other? I don't really know how to explain it, but whatever, you get the point.

"Morg, this is Chris and Gabriella," Chase tells her as he motions to us, "and this is Sophie, my girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you guys, I've heard good things," she says with a smile on her face and directs the last of her comment to Sophie, of course.

Sophie looks happy about it. She thanks her and tells her she likes her watch or something like that. I couldn't exactly hear it because I was too busy trying to look at Troy and see how he acts with her. He called her his friend the other day, but still. Who knows. Why do I even care so much? It's not like I'll ever make a move on Troy. No way. I hate rejection and to be honest, he probably has so girls lined up. And didn't Sasha say he hooks up with so many? Ugh.

I looked over at Chris and he was staring across the table and I knew he was insanely attracted to her. Who wouldn't be? She's so GORGEOUS. She's, like, pretty much the definition of the word. And so, that's cool.

She's definitely his type. She has blue eyes that just stand out and thick eyebrows and dark hair. Chris would die for a girl with blue eyes... and here she is.

"Come with me to get food," Troy suddenly tells me, "you must be hungry."

I am hungry. But umm. Okay. I look over at Chris and he's still chowing down on his burger so I guess so. "Yeah, sure."

We get up and walk over to the grill area where there are plates and everything for food on a table nearby so I grab two and hand them over to Troy so he can get us some patties from his friend who's grilling. I mean, I don't know the guy so I'm not gonna ask him.

And as we're assembling our burgers, he chuckles a bit which captures my attention. "What?"

"Yeah, um, my friend is definitely into your friend," he tells me pointing over to them where you could clearly see that they were talking.

"Really?" I ask him. They JUST met. "Oh, so this is why you pulled me away from there."

"Kind of," he shrugged, "I mean, I wanted you to get food if you were hungry. Morgan doesn't need any help, but it would have been better if they were alone. She spotted him and it was game over for her."

Should I tell him that Chris is probably just as into it as she is? "Well, she's in luck. I know for a fact that Chris finds her attractive. So I guess that's good."

He smiled, which I took that as a good thing. He's happy my friend finds his friend attractive, which means he doesn't care if she dates. Okay, I have to get over this. They aren't together, they're friends, but I don't know. Him being off limits would probably be better for me. I don't want to like him, but I can't really help it right now. It's not that I don't want to, I just think he has a lot going on and the last thing he wants is a girlfriend. Or a girl like me.

Someone who doesn't get into trouble or drinks. By definition, I'm boring. And I'm sure he wants someone a little bit more... adventurous.

"Should we maybe let them talk for a bit?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at Troy, "Oh, um, yeah, sure."

Once again, he smiled and with his plate of food led me inside the house and to the kitchen where there was no one. We sat around the island and started eating out burgers and although it was cooler in here and quieter, I felt weird. Being around him now is different. I'm so insanely attracted to him. He's SOO hot and nice to me and I don't know. Being about him now makes me nervous. It makes me not want to say anything dumb.

"So you think they could be into each other?" Troy asks me after he takes a bite of his burger.

"Oh, um, I don't know," I answer truthfully, "I don't know your friend, but appearance wise, she's exactly what Chris likes. Blue eyes, dark hair. If she's funny like witty funny and not sarcastic funny, then yeah, maybe. He's into people like that because he's pretty witty himself. He's a really funny guy."

Fuck, I hope I don't make it seem like I like him or something because that is not the case whatsoever. At all.

But I don't think he picked up on it, thank God. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and nodded, "Well, Morgan's one of the funniest people I know so I guess it's a match made in Heaven."

I didn't say much else. Didn't know what to, really. I bit into my burger and enjoyed it because it was a really good burger. So juicy and ahhh, SO good.

"If you wanna go back out there with your friends, you can," he suddenly tells me, "Morgan's just gonna have to deal with having him around other people."

"Oh, um," did I look like I wanted to be out there? "no, no, it's fine. They can keep talking by themselves. I'm fine here."

"You sure?"

I nodded and gave him a small smile. I was sure.

* * *

><p>There's nothing more that I love than a really good sushi roll. Okay, maaaybe a really good steak, but eh. Sushi is just SO good and so fresh and ugh, I just love everything about it. I need to eat it once a week or I'll go crazy. Okay, not crazy, but I need it for sure.<p>

So I'm glad Chris agreed to come get some sushi with me tonight.

"How was that dinner thing yesterday?" he asks me as he grabs an Alaskan roll from the center, "you guys did end up going to that right?"

"Yeah, yeah, it was fun. Fun-ish. I was so tired, but the food was really good. Have you ever been to the Cannery?" I asked him as I grabbed an Alaskan roll as well and dipped it in some soy sauce. SO GOOD.

Chris shook his head and shrugged, "no idea. I don't think so, though. Doesn't sound familiar."

Hm, well it was good. I definitely want to go back there. "It was really nice. And yeah, it was good. It was just girls which was nice. I'm glad we went."

"Well, I'm glad we went to that BBQ," he laughed as he grabbed his iced tea and took a drink, "I definitely hit it off with Morgan and we're going out next weekend, I think. I have to call her or text her and ask, but she told me she was free so yeah, hopefully we do."

"Yeah? You like her?"

"I don't really know her yet, but I like her enough to want to get to know her better."

Awww. I'm happy for him. He honestly has not taken a girl out since his girlfriend broke up with him 8 months ago. It's time. We're young, but this is what you're supposed to do when you're young. Date around, see who's out there and see if there's anyone you like, you know? It's really the only time where you don't really have to feel pressured to keep it going because you're so young. I want him to find a girl. And who knows if this Morgan girl is it, but at least he's giving it a try. She's REALLY pretty so that's a plus. If anything, he could just stare at her all night and soak that in if she doesn't bring anything to the table.

I hope it works out for him, though. "She's so your type, huh? Dark hair, blue eyes. Killer smiler. I mean, she's gorgeous."

"Right?" he laughed, "don't know why she agreed to go out with me when that Troy guy is like ten times more attractive and apparently her best friend."

"Well, it kinda seemed like he was all for you guys. Like, for Morgan to be hitting it off with some guy so I don't think anything's going on there," I let him know so he has a peace of mind, "maybe they're just like us. Best friends and best friends only. It didn't seem like he cared that you guys were talking at all."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. And I mean, that would suck for both of us since you're into him."

I almost choked on my sushi. WHAT. Why would he say that? "What?"

Chris chuckled as he reached for a crunchy roll and soaked it in soy sauce, "oh come on, you're totally into him. I can just tell by the way you look at him. We've been best friends for so long now that I can tell right away when you're into someone. Which you are."

Faaaack. I mean, I'm not gonna deny it, but I don't know if I like him like that yet, you know? As a boyfriend type. "It's weird. I'm insanely attracted to him."

"As most girls, I assume," he says, "you know him a little bit, right? You've met him?"

"Yeah, yeah, I have," I nod as I grab my drink and clear my dry throat a bit, "he actually goes to my church which is how I first met him. And then I ended up seeing him at that party Sophie took me to. I don't know, he's nice, but he has a lot of stuff going on. And he's probably not into me at all."

"Who wouldn't be, though?" he says so casually, "I mean, except for me since that's just too weird. But I'm serious."

He's sweet. But it weirds me out a bit when he says that because he's not gay nor is he ugly. He's attractive and if we weren't friends since we were both five years old, maybe something could be there. But no. Not now.

I grabbed some edamame and bit it with my teeth to get the beans out, "It's just weird. He's not my type. And he's going through a lot."

"Well, your type hasn't worked out before. So why not change it up a little bit. Go for the guy you never expected," he suggests and that's exactly what Troy is. A guy that is not my type.

A guy who likes to party and hook up with girls. Who does whatever he wants when he wants. At least that's what I think he is. My ex boyfriends have all been guys who don't party. Who like staying at home and watching movies. And I mean, I don't care if people party but in a significant other, I don't want that to be their first priority on the weekends. I want it to be family and me and friends, too, but not in that environment, you know? It's just weird for me.

Maybe Chris is right, but I won't ever make the first move. No way. No how.

"And how am I supposed to see if it works with him if a, I don't make the first move and b, I don't even know if he's interested in me?"

"That's where I come in, my darling," he smirks at me before grabbing another sushi roll, "well, if it goes okay with Morgan. And if so, on our third date, I'll say I accidentally double booked and I have plans with you and that maybe we should make it a group hang and I'll even bring Sophie or something."

"No," I shake my head, "no girl ever wants to hear you double booked especially with another girl."

Chris just laughed, "you're right. I don't know. It could work. Think about it. I think it's our best option, to be honest."

Okay, yeah, maybe he's right.

"I'll see," I tell him before grabbing another roll myself, "but don't make it obvious."

Why is Troy Bolton stressing me out when he's not even my boyfriend?

This sucks.


	20. Chapter 20: Troy

I didn't even go out last night and I had to run into fucking Kenzie. It was the absolute worst.

Not only did I run into her, she tried talking to me. And I have no idea why. I've made it perfectly clear that I don't want anything to do with her. I ignore her texts. I tell her I don't want to hang out. So for her to come up to me and try to talk to me like nothing got me so aggravated. So aggravated.

And now my mom's telling me to pray about it during church, which I mean, okay, sure but I don't get how praying about it will help me out with her.

I don't remember the last time I prayed. Maybe when I was 10?

But anyway, I'm thinking about this right now, because Pastor Montez is talking about forgiveness and letting go. And it's all just so relevant to my life right now, according to my mom who's smiling at me, silently telling me that he's speaking right to me so I should pay attention.

Okay, maybe I should forgive Kenzie. And just let everything go, but it's hard because I was falling in love with her. I think I was in love with her. And she ripped that rug right from under me and left a giant hole in my heart. Dramatic, maybe. But it's how I felt at the time. And no, I don't think I feel that way anymore, but it doesn't mean I'm not still mad at her for putting me through that hurt and humiliation.

"One of my favorite verses of all time is Mark 11:25," Pastor Montez tells us as he turns his bible to it before reading it out loud to us, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

He stopped and looked out at us and smiled. And everyone shouted, "amen" in agreement and yeah, I guess that is true. I don't know.

David, Pastor Montez, or whatever, then stepped down and finished off his service, "Forgive, forgive, forgive. Jesus said that you should forgive seventy times seven, which means there is no limit. Always forgive. Always look forward. No one is perfect. Not everyone has their life together. Be compassionate, be forgiving. Amen. God bless everyone, see you next week."

And with that, he walked to the back and everyone started getting out of their pews.

It definitely struck a cord with me. I know forgiveness is important. And in this case, it's not just about Kenzie. It's about forgiving my parents. And my sister Sam. And it definitely got me thinking about everything. I mean, why am I holding on to so many ill feelings?

I know it's not healthy, but I just can't help it.

My mom and I drove separately, so while she went to the lounge area of this place to grab a cup of coffee, I bolted to my car.

And on the way out, I literally ran into Gabriella. Like, literally.

"I'm sorry," it was completely my fault. I was looking down at my phone, which is like the number one rule not to do while walking, but I couldn't help it, "um, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she chuckled, pulling down her shirt and fixing her hair a bit, "sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

"No," I tired to fight against it. I want it to be my fault. Well, not my fault... ah, I don't even know what I'm talking about. "I wasn't looking."

She smiled at me as she pushed some hair back behind her shoulders and adjusted her over the shoulder bag. God, she was so beautiful. It was the first time I was seeing her today. We sat in different pews. I sat a couple before her so I could only see the back of her, but now I'm seeing the front and it's, like, she gets more beautiful every single day. It's insane. And I was gonna bolt out of here before even seeing her because I have a lot on my mind and I'm just not really feeling life right now, but you know, I'm kinda glad I ran into her right now.

Just seeing her, as creepy as that sounds, makes everything a little better. It's insane. I barely know her. I don't even know her favorite color yet I'm into her. And seeing her makes me a little happy inside. I really have to stop being such a creep.

"Are you okay?" she suddenly asks me.

Fuck. I don't have a good poker face at all. "What? Um, yeah, I'm okay."

A small smile appears on her face again, "are you sure? You seem... distraught."

Okay, maybe I am distraught or whatever, but I already dumped my poor child of divorce story on her, I doubt she wants to hear about my girl problems and why I can't forgive anyone. Or why it's hard to forgive anyone these days. "No, yeah, I'm... yeah, I'm okay."

I knew she didn't buy it, but maybe she doesn't care all that much. It was just a nice thing for her to ask. "Where's your mom?"

"Oh, she went to go get some coffee or something, I don't know. We came separately," I tell her.

"Do you wanna grab some breakfast?"

Oh boy. I wasn't expecting that. I mean, umm, what do I say? No, I'll probably be in a bad mood the whole time? I can't say that. I mean, I am hungry. And who wouldn't want to sit in her company and stare into her eyes? Okay, calm down, Troy. Hmm. What to do. What to do. "Okay, sure."

She smiled and then turned towards the church, "Do you mind driving? I came with my sister, who I have to go talk to really quick, but I'll be back."

I just nodded and watched her go. I guess I'll wait for her right here.

What just happened?

* * *

><p>"Troy," I hear my name being called as I'm walking to my car after school.<p>

And I knew exactly who it was. I really did not want to turn around, but at the same time, I wasn't completely rude. So I had to. "Hi."

Kenzie came forward a bit and smiled at me as she held onto her books. She looked a bit nervous to talk to me. And I wasn't particularly interested in talking to her, but whatever. Might as well get it over with. "Um, do you have time? Can we talk?"

"Sure," I tell her, walking a bit farther to my car while she followed.

I put my books and my backpack in there and then came back to her and leaned against my car and waited for her to start.

She took a deep breath and brought her books up to her chest, hugging them basically. If she's trying to look sorry and sweet, she has definitely achieved that. "Look, I just want to say I'm sorry, okay? At first, I was, like, whatever, shit happens. But now I'm really and truly sorry about everything."

"It's fine," I tell her, even though I am still upset about it. It was the last thing I thought would happen.

"But you're still angry with me and I get it, I do, but come on, Troy, you did some shitty things in the relationship, too," she tells me.

Shitty things? I never even THOUGHT about cheating on her. How could she throw this back on me? It wasn't that long of a relationship, but enough to where I thought I loved her. So this is catching me by surprise. "What?"

She rolled her eyes, "those last few weeks, you were anything but my boyfriend. You weren't attentive, we barely hung out, and you literally called me two minutes before we were supposed to go to a surprise party together to tell me you weren't going to go. Like, what the fuck?"

"I have shit going on, Kenz," I try my hardest to not yell at her any louder, "I had shit going on and you knew that so excuse me for not paying attention to you 24/7. You weren't my whole life."

"I know that!" she yells back, "but still, you were a shitty boyfriend those last few weeks and I'm not going to be the only bad guy here, okay?"

Oh fuck this. Fuck everything she's saying. I thought she was going to apologize and that was that. We'd have a clean slate and I'd go back to a time where Kenzie and I weren't anything. But no. She's turning it back on me, too. "Cheating can't be justified."

She stood there, quietly, not saying anything. She looked a bit pissed, annoying, and I don't know what else, really.

"You know what?" she finally tells me, "you're not cut out to be a boyfriend and I should have realized that sooner. I'm sorry I cheated, but you did not hold up your end of the deal when we decided to be in a relationship."

I seriously don't even know what she means by that, but with that, she walked away and I didn't have a chance to say anything back.

She has a point, I was a shit boyfriend. But still, that doesn't justify cheating. It just doesn't.

And this day just went from good to bad reaaaal quick.


	21. Chapter 21: Gabriella

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks since that BBQ, two weeks since Morgan and Chris went on their first date and two weeks since Troy and I went to breakfast.

And now, this is where his plan comes in. He waited a little bit, but it's here.

I'm currently sitting across the table from Troy at dinner with Sophie to my right and Chase across from me to the right as well. Morgan and Chris are on the opposite side of me laughing at something the other one said which is cute, but right now I feel like I'm on a triple date and that's just... weird.

Even if I am into him and insanely attracted, I would never want him to think this was a setup, but Chris made sure not to tell Morgan because he doesn't know if he can trust her yet. It would have been a good test, but whatever. He did. So here were are.

We all went to see a movie, but I sat on the opposite end as him so it didn't feel like a triple date there, thank God.

But now it does.

"What's everyone getting?" Sophie, of course, asks.

"I think I'm going with the fajitas," Morgan is the first to speak up to her, "but I don't know. I've never had them here. Are they any good? I usually only get the enchiladas or the carne asada burrito, but I'm in the mood for some fajitas."

"Oh, girl, they are SO good. Get them and I'm gonna get the enchiladas and we can pick off each others if you'd like," Sophie tells her.

Morgan was up for that, thank God. Now Sophie doesn't have to pick off of my plate, which she's known to do.

And then everyone started talking amongst themselves except for Troy and I. He was still looking at a menu and so was I. Sophie is a frequent diner here but not me so I don't know what to get. I've only been here twice and both times I liked my meal but I want to try something different. I'm always down to try something new. I just don't know what.

"What are you getting?"

I look up at Troy who now has his menu down on the table. "Oh, um, not sure yet. You?"

He looked down at the menu and read off his order, "I think I'm gonna go with a carne asada burrito."

"Oh, that's good. You can't ever really go wrong with those," I spit out some bullshit even though I'm not sure if it's true. Maybe there are some that are gross. I never really eat those so I wouldn't know. "I think I'm just gonna get the tacos or something. Something simple."

"Simple's good," he smiles as he closed his menu, "and so are tacos."

Tacos are so good. Probably one of my favorite foods, ever. So yeah, I'm just gonna go with that. "Yeah, it's my favorite Mexican food for sure."

It's a bit awkward. These two couples are talking to each other and Troy and I are kinda just... here. And I also feel like we're all kind of separated from each other even though we're at the same table. It's hard to explain. The seats are just far apart from each other and so yeah, it kind of does feel like we're all on our own little date with each other.

"You know, this might be a little creepy, but I had a dream with you in it last night," Troy tells me.

Okay, this makes my ears perk up. I look over to Sophie and Chase but they're in deep conversation, she's telling him a story or something. And so I want to know more about this dream. "What happened?"

He grabbed his drink and took a sip before telling me, "it wasn't anything major, you just showed up to my house with your dog and then when you weren't looking, I stole her by locking her in a room and pretended she got out. And I felt really bad about it, but not that bad because I did keep her."

What? HA. I couldn't help, but laugh. He dreamt about me and my dog. That's so funny. And strangely... cute. "I would seriously kill you if you were to do that in real life. Bella is my life."

"Which is why I felt so bad," he laughs along with me, "I could tell she means a lot from the beach that one day."

"Yeah, she does. And that's really funny. You're actually the third person to have a dream with Bella in it," I tell him, "she's a hot commodity, I guess."

He laughed and nodded as he grabbed some chips and dipped them in salsa, "she's really pretty."

It was crazy. He was talking about my dog, but the way he was looking into my eyes, I couldn't help, but feel like he was also talking about me. But that's crazy talk. It's absolutely crazy to think he could be directing that at me, as well. Right? No. Push that out of your head, Gabriella.

So I did. "She is. Thanks."

And for the rest of the night, conversation was light and fun. And I had the best time.

* * *

><p>"Let's go to breakfast, I'm starving," Natalie tells me as we exit the doors of church, "I've been wanting to try this new place out."<p>

"Yeah, sure," I tell her, throwing my bag over my shoulder and looking around aimlessly for Troy. I just saw him a minute ago. Where could he be? "Umm, but I have to do something really quick so I'll meet you at the car, okay?"

She gave me a weird look, but went ahead and left me standing there looking for him.

And finally, I spotted him. He was exiting the other way and his mom wasn't near him so I thought now would be the perfect time to ask him.

"Hey," I walk up to him.

He turns to me and immediately smiles, "Hi."

Ahh. All of a sudden, I'm nervous. "Hey, so um, I'm having a party next weekend. A birthday party. At Sophie's house, actually. And I know Chase is coming so you're more than welcomed to come as well. Bring Morgan, if you'd like. Don't know if Chris asked her already, but yeah. It should be a lot of fun."

Gahhhh stop rambling, Gabriella. You should have just said you were having a birthday party and then let him talk.

"Oh, you are?" he asks, looking genuinely interested in the idea, "when's your actual birthday?"

"Yeah, it's on 17th. December 17th," I say like an idiot as if he already doesn't know the month we're in. Ugh. "But yeah, um, it's at Sophie's. So if you're not busy or bored, you should come. It'll be fun... I think."

I say I think because I haven't put anything together. Sophie and my sister planned it all. And it took them two months. I don't know if it's big and elaborate or simple. I really don't. But I hope he comes. Not only because I'm into him, but because I don't know, I feel like we're friends now. And his friends are now dating my friends so it makes sense. We'll probably be seeing a lot more of each other and I'm happy about that. Also, annoyed because I'll have to see him all the time now and just think to myself how it sucks I can't get to know him on a personal, romantic level... because I realized that I kinda want to.

He smiled and nodded as he put his phone in his pocket and took out his keys, "Okay, cool. I think I'm free."

"Okay," I push some hair back and give him a smile and I'm about to say bye to him but the I realize I didn't tell him an important tidbit about the part, "and not that you were planning on it or even thinking on it probably, but I'm telling everything this... so um, no presents, please. I don't need anything."

"Okay," is all he said.

And then we said our goodbyes as he walked to his car and I walked to mine.

Natalie looked a bit annoyed with me. Which I don't understand why. I didn't even take that long. "Sorry," I climbed into the car and immediately fastened my seat belt, "where do you want to go? I'm starving. I'm good with whatever you want. I just need to eat something."

She's still looking at me and not saying a word which is starting to freak my out a little bit.

Why isn't she talking?! "Nat?"

"You're into that guy," she cracked a smile, "you're so into him. You just invited him to your party."

"How do you know?" I asked, honestly confused and a little frightened. Like how did she know that's what I wanted to tell him? I didn't tell anyone yet. Well, Chris knows. He's the one who encouraged me. I didn't tell my mom, though. "How do you know that's what I was telling him?"

"I heard you!" she exclaimed with a big smile on her face, "oh my gosh, Gabriella, you like someone. You finally like someone again!"

Ugh. Her window was down. That's how she heard. And now I'm scared Troy's gonna hear her because I see him standing outside of his car waiting for his mom inside. Ahhh. "Nat, stop screaming! He's RIGHT THERE."

She turned around and saw him and then flashed a smile back at me and lowered her voice. "You do, huh? You're so into him. I can just tell. I knew it."

"Okay, maybe I am, but it's nothing. From things I do know, the last thing he wants is probably a girlfriend so nothing's going to happen, he's just hot, I like looking at him and his friends are dating mine so might as well invite him, right? Least I could do."

"Ahh, you like someone," she turns around in her seat and reaches for her seat belt.

"Maybe, I don't know, Nat. I really don't know him all that well. But can you please not talk about this here?" I urge her.

She rolled her eyes and started her car, "it's a good thing, Gabs! And he can't hear us. My window's rolled up. He's hot. You're hot. Make the first move for once. Be like Soph. She's so fearless when it comes to guys. And I know he has shit going on, mom makes it obvious, but maybe you'll make him forget all about that. Why not? What do you have to lose?"

Natalie may have a point, but I don't know. It's weird. "I've spent enough time with him to know I'm insanely attracted to him but not enough to know if we even have common interests. But it's useless. And it's probably just a crush that's going to go away soon."

"Well then get to know him, if he has absolutely nothing in common with you, dust it off and move on to the next one. Simple."

"No, you don't understand," I tell her but then I realize that I'll have to spill what his life's like, "no, yeah, maybe you're right. I should huh?"

"Yes!" she looks behind her so she could pull out of the parking space and when the coast is clear, she does, "Nothing to lose. He's hot, you're into him, I'm sure he's into you. Mom might love it because she's becoming fast friends with his mom so you never know. Just go for it. At your party. Make a move."

I'm definitely humoring her. And trying to get her off my back.

There's no way I'm making a move. And I don't know if I'm ready to deal with everything he's got going on.

But man, does he make my heart beat fast...


	22. Chapter 22: Troy

"So how's it going with Chris?"

Morgan couldn't help but smile as she handed me the remote, "good, we grabbed dinner yesterday."

I knew it was going good, I just wanted to see her smile and hear her say it. I've been to my mom's twice this week, Monday and today, Thursday, and on Monday I asked if she wanted to go to the mall real quick with me to buy some shoes, but she already had plans with Chris. Which was okay.

"Wow, dinner twice in one week," I commented, "things are moving pretty fast."

"They're not," she rolled her eyes and plopped down on the couch with a bag of chips in her hand, "I mean, sure, I've hung out with him more than I hung out with the last guy I was talking to and I was talking to him for about a month, but we're still getting to know each other. He's cool. I like him and maybe it'll turn into something more, but right now, we're having fun."

"Fun?" I ask, but rhetorically, Morgan doesn't just have fun. She always wants to know where she is with someone. "Bullshit."

She turned to me and gave me a small smile, probably hating me that I know her so well. "Okay. I like him. I do and he invited me to Gabriella's birthday, but he was like, I know we're still figuring things out, but it'd be cool if you could come. Blah blah blah. Like, yes, I get three weeks of hanging out doesn't necessarily mean you have to make someone your girlfriend, but I thought we were past figuring things out. Like what does that mean? Is he still talking or hanging out with other girls? Is he still keeping his options opened? Or no?"

Well, I can't really answer that because I don't know Chris all that well, but I mean, she's not being unreasonable but she's also being a bit dramatic. Not dramatic, but like, pushy? I don't know, really. "Well, he invited you to her party, that's gotta count for something since they're best friends."

"No, yeah, you're right, maybe I'm just over thinking it. He wouldn't take me if there wasn't something special there. I know they're the best of friends."

"Does that ever worry you?"

"Them being friends?" she stops chomping away on some chips, "I don't know, actually."

She doesn't know? Oh fuck. Wait. So that means I don't know. Well, she did tell me that it was gross because they're like brother and sister, but what if Chris has different sentiments and he likes her and then she'll come around eventually? Oh man. I'm getting ahead of myself, but still. "Why don't you?"

Morgan shrugged and put the bag of chips on the coffee table in front of her as she dusted off her hands, "Well, I asked if she had a boyfriend or anyone that she was interested in because I know you like her..."

"Wait. What?"

"Yeah, I know you like her."

"I never told you I like her," I tell her, defensively, even though I wasn't too convincing at all.

Morgan laughed and just brushed it off, "you don't need to tell me. I just know. So that's why I asked. And he told me that he wasn't sure, but she had just broken up with her ex not too long ago because he wasn't serious. And I don't know, I didn't get the vibe that he liked her, but he was just talking so highly of her and said she deserved the best and blah blah blah. Made me wonder just a little bit, but they really could only be friends. I haven't spent much time with her so I wouldn't exactly know."

Oh. So she had a boyfriend not too long ago. That's all that was replaying in my head right now. She had a boyfriend and now she doesn't. Okay.

"That's cool. Now I know to never go for her," I let her know, a little aggravated she told me this information because I was hoping sooner or later, I'd suck it up and just make a move. Just ask her out or something even though I already knew she was way better than me.

"What are you talking about?" Morgan looked confused, "why not?"

"Morg, she has her shit together. She's a pastor's daughter. She's beautiful and kind. So why in the world would she want someone like me? She doesn't."

She grew quiet for a minute and I knew it was because I was right. I am right. The thought of dating terrified me and I just wanted off girls completely, but Gabriella is different and she's so intriguing and she makes me want to get to know her better. She's the exception and now I just felt like I shouldn't. She definitely deserves someone better than me. Someone put together. Someone who doesn't have mood swings. Someone who's just... available.

Morgan finally spoke up after what felt like forever. "Don't say that. You're great. You're just going through a rough patch but I'm sure the moment you start dating someone, you'll be great for them. Like you always have been. Trust me."

"I get mad at you randomly. Annoyed. And I walk out when we're hanging out. That's not normal. I can't do that with a girlfriend."

"No, you can't," she shakes her head, "which is why you need to talk to someone. Get help. Get all your feelings sorted out. These intense mood swings can be taken care of. I know divorce and loss is hard. And your sister moving away. I know it's hard. And I know you feel like you don't deserve all of this because you've been such a good guy your whole life. But it can be better. You can be better."

Ugh. I know I can. It's just hard. I can hang out with my friend and be happy and then someone says something and I'm instantly annoyed. That's not right.

It's just not and I don't know what to do.

"Just follow your gut," she tells me, "if you hang out with her or see her around and you feel like taking her on a date, hanging out just the two of you, then do it and go from there. You never know. Maybe being happy with a girl can change everything..."

Okay, seriously doubt it. If my best friends in the whole world can't bring me back to happy Troy, how will a girl?

But I just go along with it for the time being. "Yeah, maybe. I don't know."

"You're coming with me to her party, though," she tells me putting her feet up on the couch, "it'll be fun and I want to hang out with Chris and I want you to get to know him better because I think I'm starting to really like him and I want you to approve and everything. You're my best friend, after all."

"Yeah, sounds good." Oh, I definitely wanted to go to her party.

I couldn't wait, actually.

* * *

><p>"Are you going somewhere tonight?"<p>

I look up from tying my shoes and see my mom standing in my doorway. "Um, yeah, to a party."

She gives me a small smile, but it was also a sad one. I haven't been to a party in weeks. I've stayed home or just hung out with friends and she was pretty happy about that, but now I'm going to a party and she probably thinks it's back to square one again. But this is different. Way different.

"Do you think you're going to be out late?" she steps in a bit, "I'm going to dinner with your aunt and Sharon."

"I'm not sure," I shrug, getting up and going over to my dresser so I could spray a bit of cologne. "Um, it's actually Gabriella's party. A birthday party."

Her face lit up. Not lit up, but you could tell she was relieved. And it made me a bit happy inside. I never want to intentionally make my mom sad or mad but this was nice. "Oh. Gabriella. Gabriella Montez. You guys are friends?"

Yeah, maybe I should start telling my mom things again. I used to tell her everything. "Sure. Morgan's dating her best friend. Chase is dating her other best friend. And so we have mutual friends in common. I haven't known her for that long, but she invited me. And she's nice so."

"She's lovely," she smiles at me and leans against the wall as she watches me spray cologne, "I've been over to her house a handful of times and she's a very nice young lady. Beautiful, too."

I know where she was going with this. "We're friends, mom."

My mom chuckled to herself and nodded. "I know, I know. It's just great. I didn't know you guys hang out. I think that's really cool."

Yeah, because she's a pastor's daughter and she has it all together and stuff. But like, Morgan has her shit together. I hang out with her. It's more than that. My mom probably wants me to date her. She's always urging me to date which I don't know why. Don't these people get that I'm like the worst person to date right now and that I kind of don't want to? Well... Sort of. I mean, I had my heart broken. I don't want to go through that again for a very looong time.

"Anyway," she changes the subject once I don't say anything, "I just wanted to tell you that your dad is finally coming to church with us tomorrow."

"Cool," I say as I walk over to my closet and look for a jacket. Do I really need one?

"That's really all you have to say to that? Cool?"

I sort through some and decide to just take a simple black zip up. It's a casual house party, I don't need a nice jacket or anything like that. I then turn back to my mom, "Well, what do you want me to say? He's bailed the past couple of weeks, how do we know he's not gonna bail again this time?

She sighed and folded her arms across her chest, "he's been busy, Troy. It's not like he's just laying in bed saying he doesn't want to go. He is coming."

"Okay, fine, sure, whatever you say," I go over and grab my wallet and put it in my pocket, "anything else?"

"No," she shakes her head before turning around to walk out.

But I stop her. "Mom, I love you."

She turned around and a small smile appeared on her face. I knew those words always mean so much to her but right now they meant everything because lately I haven't been showing so much love. But I love my mom, of course. I always have and always will. No if's, and's or but's about that whatsoever.

"I love you, too."

Okay, now it's time to go see Gabriella. Ahh.


	23. Chapter 23: Gabriella

People are already crowding this place and I'm not even ready. How annoying.

I can't believe I let Sophie talk me into doing my hair. I came with my hair straight and now she's having her sister curl it for me. I don't even like curly hair. But she is letting me use her incredible party house for this so I had to oblige even if I didn't care for my hair being curly.

And once she was done, she told me to check it out.

I didn't care for it. Which sucked. But the best part is I can voice it. "This totally looks like prom hair, Linds."

"Okay, maybe a bit," she laughed and sat me back down in the chair, "I didn't have my wand so it came out looking like prom hair. But no worries, I'm going to fix it for you. I'll be right back."

Thank God. Lindsay's like a sister to me so I can say anything I want to her. As she went to get whatever she was going to get, I got up and walked over to the window that overlooked the backyard. People were spread all over and the backyard seemed to be filling up which made me happy. I invited my very best friends, good friends, cousins, and acquaintances. People I knew but didn't really talk to because why not? The more, the merrier. And Sophie told me to.

You only turn 18 once! Which is like every other birthday, but I'm finally legal so I guess that's gotta count for something, right?

Lindsay came back with a straightener in her hand and some dry shampoo in the other, "okay, I seriously just saw a tutorial about this the other day so you're in luck. I'm gonna give you the prettiest beach waves, ever."

I trusted her... I think. I mean, she did give me ugly curly hair just now, but her hair's always pretty, so.

And about five minutes after Lindsay ran the straightener through all of my long, thick hair and applied dry shampoo at my roots, she told me to get up and go check it out in the mirror. So I did.

And I absolutely loved it.

I had beachy waves going on, waves that didn't make it seem like I was trying too hard.

Ahh I loved it. I thanked her, ran over to Sophie's closet, grabbed my shoes and threw them on and then applied some chap stick before I went downstairs. People started getting here 20 minutes ago and it's annoying how I'm not greeting them, but the birthday girl should always arrive fashionably late, right?

"Gabs!" Tara Baker calls out to me with arms wide open ready to give me a hug, "happy freaking birthday!"

"Thanks girl," I gave her a hug, making sure she didn't spill her drink on me.

"This is SO amazing," she comments on everything, looking around. They went all out decorating. "Kayla and all them are on their way, but ahh you're 18 now. How cool. Do you remember when we started kindergarten together? Like, where has the time freaking gone?"

Tara Baker. One of my oldest friends. We hang out in different groups, but I know she'll be my friend for life. It's just one of those things.

I couldn't believe I was 18, though. "I know and yours is next month!"

"For sure not throwing a party like this," she laughed as she took a drink, "but yeah, I'm excited!"

As more people started coming in, I had to make my way over to greet them so I told Tara I'd see her later and made my way over to them. My two cousins who are like sisters to me came along with a couple of my guy cousins who go to the same school as me so they know everyone. Some friends from school were also here and it's crazy how so many people came for ME. Me, who by definition is popular, but still. It's crazy. But I'm so glad.

It's a party, like a regular house party, but it does have a twist. There's a photo booth, my friend is playing music from his laptop in the corner but he's not being a full blown DJ so that's good, and there's a bunch of decorations around and a huge cake in the middle of the table with all the alcohol and appetizers.

"Hey, girl!"

Sasha! Ahh. Love her. "Hey!"

She hugged me and looked around the place in a bit of frustration, "why didn't Sophie let me help? I LOVE decorating."

I laughed and shrugged, "you know her mom does this for a living so I'm sure they had it under control. But I love your top, where did you get it?" Seriously, it was such a cute top and I kind of wish I could be wearing it right now, if I'm being honest.

But I'm content with what I'm wearing. Black pants, some black booties and a cream color chiffon blouse. Sophie picked it out and I'm happy with it.

"You look SO pretty, what the heck are you talking about?" she argued back, "I love your hair and how simple you're dressed even though it is YOUR party!"

"Thanks," I smile at her, looking around a bit.

Sasha looked around, too, and then back at me and by the look on her face, I knew something was wrong. "Um, okay, so I don't know if it's true, but Lacy told me that Thomas is actually planning on coming tonight. Have you heard anything about that? You know Lacy, she always exaggerates."

Yeah, she does, but I heard it, too. He actually asked Chris. "I don't know. I'm not a spiteful person or hold grudges and we were friends before so I feel bad saying he can't come, but it's weird. So I honestly just left it up in the air."

"You didn't actually say yes, but if he comes it'll be fine?"

"Pretty much," I shrug, "all his friends are coming so I don't want him feel left out, but I'm not gonna jump for joy if I see him."

"Well, just do your thing. I'm gonna go say hi to everyone, but remind me to give you your present before I leave, okay? I left it in Sophie's room."

Of course she got me a present even though I said no to them. All of my best, close friends have been and I guess that's okay. But the other 80 or so people here, I was not gonna make them get me something. Especially since I don't need anything. I really don't. I have everything I could possibly need and more.

I walked around and said hi to more people, thanked them for coming and then I noticed Chris wasn't here.

Where the heck was he?

But I spoke too soon because less than a minute later, I saw him coming through the back doors with Morgan right next to him and Troy trailing behind them.

They looked like they were a full on couple, it seemed, which made my heart happy but I knew Chris still wanted to take his time with it and not rush it like his last relationship so I didn't think much of it. It wasn't anything groundbreaking to see. I knew where his head was at with her and it was fine.

I said hi to them, hugged them and all was fine.

But the minute I laid eyes on Troy and our eyes connected, it was game over.

I had butterflies in my stomach all of a sudden, I felt like I could start sweating at any minute and my cheeks were probably turning pink. I don't know what it was. I don't know if it's because he looked ten times hotter than usual or because it's like, he's here for me. It's my birthday party and he's HERE. He didn't have to come, but he did. And maybe that says something. Maybe not. But I'm so glad he's here.

"Happy birthday," he tells me and for the first time in the whole time I've known him he gives me a hug.

A FREAKING HUG.

"Thank you," I back up and give him a smile, "thanks for coming."

"No, yeah, thanks for inviting me," he looks around the place and takes it in, "this is nice."

I tell them that there's drinks over in the corner and to help themselves to whatever food they want that's out. Chris leads them somewhere and I'm back to saying hi to other people. But it didn't stop me from looking over at where they were at. Chris was introducing them to some people, which was nice.

My God, he was SO hot. I just couldn't get over it.

It's seriously not fair at all.

* * *

><p>12:10 AM and I AM SO TIRED. All I want to do is go to bed but I can't. There are still people here and this is what I get, but ahh. I'm tired.<p>

"Yeah, yeah, I'll see you at school on Monday," I yell out to my friends who are driving off in their car, "thanks for coming!"

I wave to them, stand there for a minute and close my eyes. If I could fall asleep standing up, I'm sure I would right now, but I stop myself. I open my eyes back up and turn around to head back inside. There are still people here and I can't kick them out, but I'm sure Sophie will soon. She's gotta be tired, too.

Before I even got to the front door, I was met with the bluest of eyes.

Troy. Troy Bolton.

"Hey," he gives me a smile, "um, I'm heading out."

"Oh," I say like an idiot, kind of wishing he'd stay for a bit.

I know Chris is probably staying to the end so I'm assuming Morgan is, too? I've talked to him tonight. There was a good 45 minutes where we sat with Chase and Sophie and just talked and it was nice. We laughed and laughed and laughed some more. He was actually really talkative. Not the person I'm used to being around. And he wasn't even drinking. I never got the shy vibe from him, but I did get the closed off vibe. Like, he didn't want to speak to many people but I didn't feel that being the case tonight at all. I saw him talking to people and it seemed like he was enjoying himself, which made me pretty happy.

He nodded and started walking away from me towards his car, "yeah, come with me real quick."

Umm, I didn't ask questions, I just I followed him over to his car which was parked right across the street from Sophie's house, directly in front of it. I don't really know how he managed to get such great parking, but he did.

He opened his car door and reached across to the passenger seat and grabbed something and when he turned around to face me, he presented it to me.

It was a box with a bow on it.

A present. For me.

Troy Bolton got me a present for my birthday.

"No," I shake my head right away and try to push it away from me like an ungrateful brat, "no, I told you no presents."

"I know," he laughed, pushing it back towards me, "it's just something small. I know you said no presents but I felt weird coming to your party on your actual birthday and not giving you anything as a gift. I've never done that. My mom always told me never to show up empty handed to a party, which I technically did since I'm barely giving it to you, but still... Here. Take it. Please."

I gave him a small smile, took it and started opening it right there in front of him. I don't know if that was a good idea, but it was too late. I didn't even think.

And when I opened it and saw what was inside, I couldn't believe it. I could not believe it!

Inside was this book I was dying to buy. A book that wasn't supposed to come out for another week. And a book I didn't even know if he knew I wanted. Like what is going on right now? How in the world did he know I wanted this book and have been waiting for it to come out? Did he talk to Chris?

"Troy," his name automatically comes out of my mouth before I looked up at him, "what? How...?"

"What?" he laughed, running his hand through his hair a bit, "do you like it?"

"I love it," I immediately told him giving him a smile to reassure him, "but how did you possibly know I wanted this? Who did you talk to? I've been counting down the days for this to come out, you don't even understand. How did you get it? Is it already out? Have I been counting down wrong?"

Whoa, too many questions. Which caused him to laugh.

He shook his head, "no, I just have some connections. And um, you told me. Well, you didn't tell me. You told Sophie over dinner that one night that you were thinking about pre-ordering this book but then she told you not to because it's cheaper going to the store and yeah."

Oh my gosh. He remembered that? It's not like I was talking to the table about it, no. I was telling Sophie very quietly because really, who wants to hear me talk about books? It was a minute conversation at that and I didn't think anyone heard.

But he did. And he took the liberty to get it for me. He even remembered the name. Soooo crazy.

Like, I've gotten some really great gifts before, but this is special. It's special because it's SO simple, yet has such great meaning to it.

It's a surprise from the boy I like.

Yes, I like Troy Bolton and I so badly want to kiss him right now.

But I know that shouldn't happen. I'm not gonna make a move and although this was incredibly sweet, it doesn't mean he's into me and I shouldn't take it as a sign that he is and be all flirty around him now. No. I should just say thank you and move on and go read this book while I think all about him.

"This is the nicest gift anyone has ever given me," he probably thinks I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. In terms of thoughtfulness. "Really. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he shrugged it off with a smile, "I'm glad you like it."

And then our eyes locked. And for a moment, I felt like it was just the two of us in this big, crazy world. Him standing there looking all sorts of hot and me standing here with my book in hand so desperately wishing it was socially acceptable to just freaking kiss him.

I couldn't pull my eyes away from him and I guess he couldn't either since we're both staring at each other. Not saying a word.

And I could feel myself inching towards him.

Is this it? Am I going to kiss him? Is he going to kiss me? What is happening? Honestly.

Then, everything around me just disappears and all I see is his face. His face that is so beautiful and his eyes that are so bright. And he's leaning in. He is leaning in and I am, too, and I cannot believe that this is actually happening. We are going for it. We're both just going for it right now...

And... we kiss.

Troy Bolton and I are kissing and it is the most magical thing in the whole world.

I slowly wrap my arms around him, my book still in my hand, as he bring his hand up to my face and gently cups it. He takes it upon himself to deepen the kiss and it only gets better from there. I relax into it, he puts more passion into it and here we are kissing. KISSING.

I am kissing Troy Bolton and I could not even believe it.

And then he backed away. "I, um, I should probably get going," he says all of a sudden. "But um, happy birthday and thanks for invitng me."

It was such a casual way to say bye after that kiss. That magical kiss that I thought meant something, but I'm not so sure now. He's leaving awfully abruptly. And it's making me really think about it. "Yeah, um, thank you for the book. And for coming."

But before he got in his car, he smiled at me and that made everything better. So much better. "I'll see you later."

Ahhhh. He likes me. Right? Troy Bolton is into me and I'm into him.

Best birthday, ever.


	24. Chapter 24: Troy

"So how did you like service?" my mom asks my dad as she pours him a cup of coffee, "was it everything you expected or no?"

My dad picked up his mug and blew on it before taking a sip, "Oh, it was great. I feel like I really connected with it. Like, I felt like he was talking right to me. It was strange. But I enjoyed it. I think we need this as a family. I'll definitely come back next week."

I heard them say my name, but I chose to ignore it because I couldn't stop thinking about Gabriella. And last night. And now, this morning.

She wasn't at church today, which was weird.

And I know it was probably because she was tired and went to bed late and everything, but I missed seeing her. I missed seeing her sway to the music and sing along to all the songs and say hi to certain people as her usual nice self.

But at the same time, I don't want to see her. I don't want to hang out with her or be around her. I can't. I'll start to fall for her and that's the last thing she needs. It's the last thing I want. I don't want to get to a point where I can't control my feelings for her. And I think they're mutual feelings, but it's not a good idea. I can't be the boyfriend she probably needs or wants. And that stings, but it is what it is. I shouldn't have kissed her last night. I know I shouldn't have.

"Troy!" my mom snaps me out of my thoughts, "we're talking to you!"

Oh um, right. My mom was talking to me. "Sorry, yeah, thanks I'll have some, too."

She gives me a weird look and goes over to the fridge to take some orange juice out, "have some what? I asked you what you were doing today because your aunt is having a BBQ and I think we should go... if you're not busy. Do you have a lot of homework to do?"

Not really so I guess that'll be fine. I haven't seen my family in a while. Well, weeks. "Yeah, sure, that sounds fine. I don't have much homework."

Honestly, my mind is just on Gabriella. And our kiss.

I've never had a first kiss like that with someone before where it just felt... magical, almost.

I know that sounds so lame and cliche, but seriously, I think I felt sparks and that's fucking terrifying. And annoying. This girl, who deserves way more than me, and I... there's something definitely there. I can't deny that. And I think she might feel it, too. But I don't know. I can't pursue her, right? No. I can't.

"How was the party last night?"

"Oh, um, fine," I immediately answer my mom, "good. Whatever."

She gives me this weird look and I could tell she senses something is up. "Whatever?

But I really don't want to get into it right now. Not only will she tell me not to mess with Gabriella's feelings because she's one of the good ones, blah blah blah, but she's gonna pester me about it every chance she gets. And it'll just get weird at church. "It was fun, okay? What more do you want?"

"Troy," my father tells me as he looks up from his newspaper, "change your attitude. It was a simple question."

All of a sudden, I'm mad. And I don't really know why. And this is what I'm talking about- my fucking mood swings. I'm just so annoyed right now. Why is my dad even here right now? Why are they getting along and why is he scolding me when he hasn't scolded me in this house for months. If they're not gonna be together, then they should fucking act like they're not together. My God. I can't with them. They're making my life so much harder than it needs to be.

I get up, grab my phone and decide I'm no longer in the mood for breakfast. "I'm not hungry. I'm gonna go do some homework."

Why am I the worst? Ugh.

* * *

><p>"Did you have fun at Gabriella's?" Chase asks me as we dig into our fish tacos at Wahoo's, "you left sooner than I thought you'd leave."<p>

Ha. I'm usually the last one at parties. "Oh, um, yeah, well I had an early morning. But yeah, it was fun."

Chase nodded and reached for his coke to wash down his tacos. He took another bite before looking up at me, "yeah, yeah, it was a lot of fun. Sophie's house is so nice. I hadn't been to a party there in a while. I forgot how much of a party house she had. You didn't drink anything that night, did you?"

"Nah," I shake my head, also grabbing my drink, "wasn't in the mood."

"You haven't been in the mood lately," he notices, "I don't think I saw you grab a drink at Chad's BBQ the other day, either."

Fuck. Is he onto me? I hope not. I don't want him to know about my feelings. I mean, Chase is one of my best friends, but what if it slips and he tells Sophie who tells Gabriella? Embarrassing. Because what if that kiss was a mistake to her? No, I'm keeping this to myself. I don't want him knowing... yet, anyway.

I shrugged it off as it was no big deal, "I don't know."

"Well, that's good. I guess things are getting easier for you?"

"Eh, parents are still annoying. Kenzie is still bugging me and Sam hasn't visited, so I'm not sure you can say that."

Chase laughed and shook his head before picking up his taco, "Well, why don't you go visit Sam if you miss her so much? I'll go with you if you want. But Christmas is coming up. She's gonna be here for, like, a month. A whole month. That should cheer you up a bit."

It's honestly so embarrassing that I'm an 18 year old boy who misses his sister this much and is crying about his parents divorce. It's pathetic.

"No, yeah, yeah, I'll just wait til she comes home," I agree with him, "it'll be good."

"Yeah. And she has to meet Sophie, she always wants to meet my girlfriends," he laughs, "Oh she can meet her at my birthday party. So they'll meet there. You're coming to that, right? It's next week, but you haven't told me anything yet and..."

"I didn't know I had to RSVP," I looked up at him, giving him a weird look, "dude, of course I'm going. I always go to your parties."

Chase laughed and shrugged, "Well, I had to ask. You've been weird lately. It seems like you're not about parties at all anymore. So I don't know..."

He's right. But the last few things I've been to, Gabriella's been there. And um, if he knows I've been trying to keep it cool for her, then he would understand.

"I don't know, I think I'm kinda getting over them. Same old shit."

"Yeah?" Chase raises an eyebrow, not sure if he believes me or not, "well, I guess that's good, man. I mean, we all love a good party but you already took it to another level. It was fun, yeah, but I know that's not really you. You'd so rather stay in and watch a movie."

I laughed and nodded. It was me. What guy wants to do that? Chase knows. He's been my friend for YEARS. "Hey, so would you. And now you basically do."

Chase laughed and agreed. He was so into Sophie. "That's what you do when you have a girlfriend. And it's not, like, I know going to a party isn't the most ideal for her so I don't go, I just seriously don't want to. I would seriously rather grab dinner with her, go back to her place and watch a movie than stand around and get drunk with some people that I don't even like, you know? It's nice. It's nice having that one person you can do that with."

Oh, I know. I had that. "Yeah, man, I'm happy for you. Soph's a really cool chick."

"She is, she is," he smiles happily, "and you know, we could double date if you just give people a chance."

"What?" What is he talking about?

"Rebecca," he tells me as if I should have already known, "dude, it's no secret she wants to date you. And yeah, she's kind of annoying, but Cam said she's an ideal girlfriend. So chill, which is surprising, but people change in relationships."

Okay, no. For a second, I seriously thought he was gonna say Gabriella, I don't know why. But maybe that's not a good thing that he didn't. If she was interested she would have told Soph, who probably would have blabbed it to her boyfriend who would have told me. But nope. Nothing. Or maybe I'm just over thinking this.

Yeah, I'm probably over thinking this. Ugh. I'm gonna make myself go crazy over Gabriella.

"I'm just not up for it," I tell him, finishing up my taco, "I should probably just focus on school and not worry about girls, you know?"

"I guess, man, I'm just saying... you always have Rebecca if you do want a girl," he laughed, "like are you guys even friends? Because I've heard from many different people that she wants to date you and it's just a bit strange. I don't think I've ever seen you guys talk, to be honest."

"She was in one of my classes last year and that's it," I shrug it off.

I honestly don't want to talk about her anymore.

And luckily, Chase dropped it and dug into his second taco as I dug into mine, too.

The only girl that's really on my radar right now is Gabriella and that's never going to happen, I know that. It was a moment we shred and I loved it, but come on, do I really think she'd go for a guy like me? She's smarter than that. She deserves more. And I just, I can't give her a happily ever after right now. I just can't.

So maybe I really should just focus on school right now. And nothing else.

Easier said than done, though.

* * *

><p>I knew Gabriella would be here. Chase told me he extended the invite to her since she invited him to her party. But that didn't stop me from coming.<p>

Did I think about not coming? Of course. But there's no way I wouldn't. Chase is one of my best friends. I couldn't miss his birthday party. And also, he'd be pissed and he knew I wasn't sick so I literally had no excuse not to come to this. Ugh. I'm such a girl.

Last Sunday, I avoided Gabriella like the plague at church.

I didn't want to talk to her about the kiss. And it seemed like she was trying to talk to me, but I bolted out the door after church.

"You want something to drink?" Brent asks me as we're standing by the bar.

"Nah," I shake my head and turn around and look out at the crowd of people, scanning the room for her, but I don't think she was here yet. "Um, I'm driving, I just came with you for the company."

Brent laughed and turned around and poured himself a drink. I really was over drinking as crazy as that sounds. I just didn't need it anymore. I didn't want it.

We went back to our group of friends that were about to play a game of beer pong and I just stood there and looked around some more. It was crazy how many times I've scanned the place in the past half hour. I don't want to talk to her, yet I wanna see her so bad. It's crazy. I don't know what to do.

But when I turned around from looking over where most of the people were, I turned back and there she was...

Walking in with Sophie and Chris, looking stunning. Absolutely stunning.

I know I can't avoid her here, I know that, but I just... I can't talk about what happened at her party.

And I'm not sure if she even wants to talk about it, but regardless, it's going to be awkward. And I don't want that. I shouldn't have kissed her. I probably shouldn't have even gone to her party, to be honest.

I quickly walk away and go inside where I know Morgan is.

"Hey, can I talk to you real quick?" I pull her away from my sister, "Sorry, Sam, I need her."

Sam just shrugged and sipped on her beer. I pulled Morgan to the living room area where there was no one and I looked panicked, I know. It wasn't that serious, but ugh, this girl... she does something to me which is absolutely crazy because I don't know her all that well. It's insane.

Morgan gave me a weird look as she held onto her drink. "What?"

"Gabriella's here and I have no idea what to do."

"What do you mean? About your kiss?" she says rather loudly, "I mean, sorry, about your kiss? Why?"

"I don't know, Morg. I'm not saying she wants to talk about it, but at church the other day, it seemed like she wanted to talk to me and I literally ran away from her. I couldn't talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. It's embarrassing. And also, I shouldn't date her. It wouldn't be good. I know that."

Morgan sighed and sat on the arm of the couch, "don't bring it up, but if she does, just laugh it off. Make it seem like it wasn't that serious and she'll get it. She's not dumb. She'll get the hint."

Isn't that... mean? "I'm probably over thinking this. She probably just doesn't even care at all."

"Yeah, you definitely care more about it," she laughed, "it's cute. It's so cute how you want her, yet you're playing it off like it's not a big deal."

"I'm not playing it off, Morgan, I'm just not gonna put her through all my shit," I tell her, looking around to make sure no one's here listening, "I've told you. It's not ideal and she deserves better. But that's all I wanted to know. And you basically didn't help, so bye. Your boyfriends here. now."

She rolled her eyes at me and pushed me off to the side and headed back.

I quickly followed and watched as she went over to them and gave them all a hug. And then her and Gabriella laughed about something. Already? Damn.

Gah. I wanted a drink right now, but I couldn't. I was driving.

So instead, I went over to my sister and talked to her to get my mind off of things. It was so nice having her home for a few weeks. She got in last week just in time for Christmas and it's been so great. I'm in a better mood because of her. And I just wish she didn't have to go back.

Eventually, though, I made my way over to Gabriella and them and said hi because it would be rude if I didn't.

"Hey," she smiles at me as she puts some hair behind her ears, which was incredibly sexy.

Sophie and Chris said hi, before Sophie was pulled away from Chase.

So it was just Morgan, Chris and Gabriella standing there. And it was a bit awkward. At least in my mind it was. But they probably didn't feel awkward at all. Especially Morgan and Chris who were too busy being all couply and shit with each other, which was okay. But maybe just not right at this second. Ugh.

I excused myself and went over to hang with some friends for a bit before I found myself back inside, looking for my sister.

But all I saw was Gabriella.

Fuuuuck.

"Hey," she told me as she looked up from her phone.

I couldn't get out of this. Shit. "Hi."

She smiled and then put her phone in her over the shoulder purse, "are you leaving?"

It might look like I am. I have my keys in my hand and I am outside in the front, but that's because I was gonna go grab a sweater from my car for my sister. "Oh um, no. I'm just running to my car really quick," but wait, what is she doing outside? "are you leaving?"

"No," she shakes her head looking up at me, "I was just making a phone call"

"Oh okay," is all I say.

And as I was about to move past her and walk over to my car, she stopped me. Fucck. Please don't talk about it. Please don't talk about it.

But yep. She brought it up. "Are you, like, avoiding me or something?"

Yes, I am. I'm definitely avoiding you. But I couldn't tell her that. That'd be so pathetic of me. And so embarrassing that I can't even handle seeing a girl after we kissed. But it's for good reason, I promise. "No, um, no, I'm not. Why would you say that?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I know you saw me at church and you kind of just left. And right now, you're being kind of weird."

"Oh, I'm just really tired," lame excuse, I know, "and church. Um, I had plans after."

"So it had nothing to do with our kiss?"

Fuuuuck. There it is. The kiss. And now we have to talk about it. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to just go home right now, lay in bed, and rewind time. Of course I loved it. There's no doubt. But it shouldn't have happened. I like her now and I don't want to like her. It's not gonna end well. I know that.

Shit. What do I say? What do I say?! "Oh, we kissed?"

A small smile appeared on her face and then she chuckled and moved her hair out of her face. "I was hoping you wouldn't forget about it."

What? "You were?"

"Well, yeah, um, it was nice."

Nice? It was nice? "yeah, um, I guess so." You guess so? What a jackass. I'm so rude. She looked a little taken aback and I feel bad now. It's such a shitty thing to say to someone. It's so bitchy and rude and I know that. I just literally froze. I didn't know she'd be so open about the whole thing, you know?

She looked away for a second and then back at me and chuckled a bit."Okay, I guess not then."

"No, no," I shake my head. I need to be a man and just own it. Say whats on my mind. "No, it was nice. It was. I just, I don't think it's a good idea."

"Oh. Why isn't it a good idea? Because you know, it already happened..."

I laughed and nodded my head and looked away. My God. She was so beautiful, I couldn't even take it. My heart couldn't take it. As cheesy as that is. "I'm not really... um, I don't know how to say this without jumping to conclusions, but I think it's safe to say we're on the same page here, and I just, I don't think I can really give you what you need right now."

She stared into my eyes, not blinking for a moment, and then a small smile appeared on her face. "So you're saying you wanted that kiss to happen?"

"Yes," I tell her straight up, not feeling as nervous anymore, "but I don't know, maybe it shouldn't happen again."

"It shouldn't happen again?" she asks.

"You know why..." I'm not asking her to feel sorry for me. I really and truly think she deserves someone better than me.

She laughs a little bit and then takes a step back, fixing her bag and then looks up at me. "Because your life is fucked up, and you think I deserve better?"

Oh boyyyy. What do I even say to that now?


	25. Chapter 25: Gabriella

I'm not sure what's going on here. I'm not sure if he's trying to get out of this thing with some bullshit excuse, but my feelings are real for him and he does not get to decide what I get to do with them. I mean, we kissed. And it was magical.

Are we not on the same page about that or what?

He says we are, but if he's just trying to make me feel better, he can spare me. I'm a big girl. I can handle rejection.

"When we kissed that night, did you feel something or not?" I straight up ask him. It might come as a surprise to him, but anyone who really knows me knows that when I want or need to know something, I go all in. I'm not shy. I'm not. "tell me that. Did you feel something that night you kissed me?"

Troy looked at me. His blue eyes into my brown ones. And then he nodded slightly. "Yes."

Yes, okay. He did. "And now you're standing here, telling me that you don't want to pursue anything because I deserve better?"

"I just mean I have a lot of shit going on. You know that."

"Yeah, you might," I agree with him. He does have shit going on and I know life isn't exactly easy for him, but still. I'm into him. "But I also know that you're kind, you're funny, and you care a lot about people so tell me why someone wouldn't want that in someone?"

He looked taken aback. And I loved it. I loved how he thought he could just make the decision for me. "You're probably gonna be disappointed."

I smile at him, "you probably will be, too."

"Are you serious right now? Are you really standing here trying to convince me to give this a chance with you?" he asks with a slight laugh.

"Is it embarrassing?" I laugh along, "but yeah, I mean, I guess so. Because all I know is that when I'm around you, I get butterflies in my stomach and I felt sparks when we kissed. And I can't stop thinking about it."

This is so crazy. I've never been this forward with someone, ever. And it is slightly embarrassing, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right?

Troy looks at me, doesn't say anything for what feels like forever, and then smiles, "Okay."

Okay? So, yes, let's give this a try? It wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for. I wanted him to maybe pick me up, twirl me and kiss me. Or tell me he felt sparks, too. But that's just me living in a fantasy world. His "okay" is actually more than enough.

"Okay," I repeat after him and give him a smile.

Now what? Do we leave and go hang out? Do we kiss? Is he going to take my hand and lead me to the back and are we going to hang out with all his friends with me by his side? I didn't know what to do. What was going to happen from here on out. All I knew is that I was incredibly happy that this all didn't blow up in my face.

Troy looked like he didn't know what to do, either, which was adorable. "We should probably head back inside."

"Yeah," I agree with him.

But before we did, he ran to his car really quick, grabbed a sweater and then came back to me. He stood in front of me in silence for what felt like a minute and then he slowly grabbed my hand. He grabbed my hand and led me through the house all the way to the back. And not on purpose, but he let go to grab a water bottle from the cooler and then we sort of just made our way to Chase and Sophie who were laughing with some other people. People I didn't know. But I guess I'm going to get to know them, right?

This is Troy's world. And I have to be okay with it. The partying. The drinking. Everything.

And typically, I don't want that in a guy, but there's something in Troy Bolton that is just pulling me in so badly.

It might all backfire on me. He could cheat on me while he's drunk someday. He could very well decide that I'm not someone he really wants to date. I don't know. So many different things.

But all I know is that whenever I'm around him, I feel something for him deep in my soul, as cheesy and weird as that sounds, and all I want to do is talk to him. Because talking to him is nice. He's funny. He's kind. And he's not what he seems at all. Unless, he's putting on a show for me. Time will tell, obviously, but for right now, I just want to date him and see where things go.

He's not my typical guy, no, but deep down, he's this nice, genuine person.

I know that. And I know he knows that, too.

* * *

><p>My very first date with Troy.<p>

He asked me last night after the party if I wanted to go to dinner with him and I was all for it. I mean, having to wait a week before going on our first official date felt like too long. I wanted to see him right away.

So here we are, across from each other at one of my favorite restaurants in all of Orange County, Bluewater Grill.

"What does your family usually do for Christmas?"

I smile at the thought of Christmas. It's in a week and I'm so, so excited. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. "We celebrate both days. On Christmas day, my dad's family comes over and we have brunch and open presents and just make it an all day thing. But on Christmas Eve, we go to my grandma's, my mom's mom, and have dinner. I have a big family so it's always a good time."

He looked intrigued. Maybe he didn't have a big family. "And you get presents for all your family members?"

I chuckled as I grabbed my iced tea, "God, no. I'd be so broke. No, we do secret Santa. It's pretty fun."

"Oh, yeah, we do that with my family, too."

"Yeah? What do you guys do?"

"Same as you guys," he smiles, leaning forward in his chair a bit, "except the opposite. My dad's family first, who we go to, and then my mom's family comes over on Christmas day. I don't have a huge family, but enough for it to always be a good time."

I'm happy to hear that. I mean, I definitely don't feel sorry for him. I feel sad, yes, but not sorry. So many kids go through divorces and all of that so for me to feel sorry for him is a bit much. But I am glad he has family and that Christmas seems to be a happy time for him. He did say it's always a good time so that's good.

Troy looked around the place, never having been here, and I was sure he was wondering about it. But I assured him it's SO good. He likes seafood, he just doesn't eat it regularly like I do, which probably isn't good.

"You're gonna love it," I assure him, "trust me. Best crabs legs I've ever had and I'm a bit picky with them."

"I hope so," he laughs a bit, looking back at me, "or I'm picking the place next time."

Next time? Okay, I know that probably just came out, but I feel giddy just thinking about it. We've been on this date for, like, thirty minutes... from the time he picked me up until now, but I think it's going good. I mean, Ive laughed countless times already and the conversation is good. It's flowing. There's no awkward silences. And usually, within twenty minutes of a date, you can tell whether or not there will be a second one, you know?

And I feel like there will be. I can't see why not.

I smiled at him as I put my chin in the palm of my hand, "be my guest."

Conversation flowed for another 10 minutes or so while our food was being prepared and the minute it came, I couldn't help but stop talking immediately and fawn over my lobster. Gah. I feel like such a weirdo, but I've seriously been craving this place FOREVER.

And it sucks because not a lot of people in my life like seafood. Well, my brother, but he's off at school most of the time.

"Sorry," I felt a little embarrassed, "you guys don't understand how long I've been wanting to eat this."

Troy laughed and shook his head, "no, no, it's fine. It's nice to see someone be as enthusiastic about food as me. I mean, when I'm at Mastro's and the waiter brings me my steak, I'm checked out for the rest of the night."

I don't know if he's making fun of me or not, but it made me smile. "So, let's just sit in silence and enjoy this?"

"I don't know if I can," he tells me looking right at me, "or maybe I can."

Gaaaah. Chills. Butterflies. The way he's looking at me... I just can't explain it. Troy, he's just, no, I honestly just can't explain how he is. He's not shy. I had him pegged for a shy guy even if his looks said otherwise. But I did. I thought he was this shy guy, but he's not. He complimented me when he picked me up. He basically just said he could sit here in silence and just stare at me because well, he thinks I'm attractive? Ahh. I think he was just going through some stuff and he was angry and that translated to shy. But he was probably like that with his friends and family as well.

We didn't eat in silence, though.

I asked how school was and where he's thinking of applying to colleges and although he didn't seem stoked on talking about it, he answered me. And surprisingly, four out of the five schools he's applying to, I am, too.

"No east coast schools for you?" he asks me, cracking open one of his crab legs, "I don't know why, but I had you pegged as someone who wants to get the hell out of here. Am I wrong?"

"Not necessarily," I shrugged, "I mean, I've never been that girl who dreamed of moving out. But I've dreamed of having that full college experience. Moving into dorms, becoming best friends with my roommate, coming home for holiday's, all that. But now that it's so close, it's the last thing I want to do. I love my life here. And, I just can't really see myself going far."

Troy was too busy chewing on his food to answer, so I grabbed my drink and gave him some time.

He washed down his food with his water and nodded, seeming to agree with me, "I'm the same way. Growing up, I had always wanted to go to Harvard. And then Stanford. But now, UC Irvine is looking like the winner. Or UC San Diego... I don't know. They're all good schools, it doesn't really matter."

"How come you don't want to go away anymore?" I asked him. I wanted to know.

"My mom," he shrugs, "we butt heads, but at the end of the day, she's my number one. And leaving her just seems so crazy. Especially since she doesn't have anyone. My dad doesn't have anyone, either, but it just feels different. I feel like I shouldn't leave her and I mean, my sister left. So that's also why I feel like I shouldn't."

Awww. I didn't know their dynamic, but I always felt something was off. Like, they'd enter church and it would seem like they had just finished fighting or something. And then his mom would confide in my mom so I knew there was shit going on.

So hearing this was nice. Hearing that his mom is essentially his best friend warms my heart because family is everything to me.

"UC Irvine is a really good school, anyway," I smile at me, "so you can't really go wrong."

"I know," he smiles back.

Ugh, I like Troy Bolton. I really like him.


	26. Chapter 26: Troy

"Where's your mom?"

I turn to see Morgan coming into the kitchen. What the fuck? "How'd you get in?"

She dangled her keys in the air and gave me a weird look, "I used my key. I didn't feel like waiting for you."

Okay. That's weird. Okay, it's not weird. But what if I was completely naked or something. What if I didn't want to see her, which there have been times where I just didn't want to hang out with her. But whatever. Today, I don't care. "She went to lunch with Sam and my aunt or something like that."

"And you didn't go with them?" she goes straight to my refrigerator and grabs herself a water.

"Nah, I'm leaving in a bit to go hang out with Gabriella."

Instant smile on Morgan's face, "what? That's, like, the third time this week. Things are going good?"

I couldn't help, but smile, either. Things were going good. Our first date was Sunday. Tuesday, since it was break and we didn't have school, we went to watch a movie. Wednesday, we grabbed some dinner and ice cream. And today, Thursday, we're going to the mall. I have to get my dad something for Christmas and she has to get a few things as well, so why not go together?

"Yeah, I mean, yeah, things are good. I like her," I smile at Morg, who looks like she wants to scream, "it hasn't been long, but yeah, things are going good."

"We should double date!" she comes over next to me and hops on the counter, "like a real double date this time. That'll be so much fun. We've never doubled dated in our life and now we can!"

I shook my head at her idea, "too soon. We're not even anything yet and I'd like to keep it just between us for another while."

Morgan rolled her eyes and got off the counter and went back to the fridge to grab some food. She took out a bowl of grapes and a bowl of strawberries, because why not? Of course she can help herself to whatever.

She pooped some grapes in her mouth and gave me a smile, "I'm so happy for you. Ever since Gabriella, it's like everything's gotten a little better."

I know what she means. I hardly drink anymore. I don't really enjoy parties anymore. And it's kinda weird. I feel like people thought I would never stop enjoying that. But here I am, not wanting to do any of that anymore. And it's not just because of Gabriella. It's not. I swear, it was just a phase. I knew it was. But she just gave me that push. Her showing up everyone forced me to not want to do any of that and eventually, I sort of just stopped.

"She's, like, Kenzie 2.0," Morgan says and I immediately hate her for it.

"Do not compare her to Kenzie," I probably look really disgusted by it, "it's not. It's completely different. I'm not exactly changing for her. It's just... with Kenzie, I was never over partying. I just stopped because I was busy hanging with her. Now, I don't even think about it. I don't want to drink. I don't have the urge or the feeling."

Morgan looked ecstatic. Sure, she parties and she drinks here and there, but it's never excessive. She just likes to have fun. "I'm happy for you. Gabriella seems like a really sweet girl and I hope it all works out for you."

I hope so, too. I really do.

* * *

><p>"You HAVE to get this," Gabriella holds up a shirt while we're in Neiman Marcus.<p>

I take one look at it and shake my head. No way. It's definitely not for me. Nope. I'm not a preppy white boy. "You're kidding, right?"

She gives me this look as if she's serious, but it's all for about ten seconds before flashes me a smile and starts laughing a bit. She puts it back on the rack and looks over at me, "of course. I don't think I would be able to hang out with you if you were to wear that."

"I'll never buy it then," I tell her with a smile before moving on to the sweaters, trying to see if my dad would like one.

Gabriella looks a bit shy now and I know it was probably because what I said, but it's true. I want to keep hanging out with her. I'm having a good time.

After 30 minutes of going from store to store, I finally found my dad the perfect gift- a watch. He loves watches. And his was getting a bit old. So I got him one and now, we're going to get some lunch at the food court upstairs.

And as we were walking, I felt Gabriella stop in her tracks, which in turn made me stop.

"What?" I turn back to look at her, her face a little taken aback. She has no emotion and it looked like she had seen a ghost or something.

"Nothing," she tells me, shaking her head.

I turn to see what's in her eyesight and I'm met with a guy laughing with some girl as they're looking into a window of some store. This is what made her stop? Who is this guy? Or this girl? Does she hate them? Does she not want to run into them?

And as I turn back to her, she's looking the other way, trying not to make eye contact with them, "do you know them?"

"Yeah," is her simple response and when I look at her for more, she just shrugs, "he's my ex boyfriend, okay? And I really don't want to run into them."

Oh. Her ex boyfriend. The dumbass who let her go. But hey, I guess better for me. I guess we can go the other way, though. It'll definitely take longer and we're literally right by the escalator to take us up to the food court, but if it makes her feel better then why not? I don't mind.

But then I see her groan and I look back to the guy and girl and they're now walking over to us.

"Gabriella," the guy says, who I now have a better look at. He's very put together and is an attractive man, "um, fancy running into you here..."

He laughed so I think it was a joke. Or an inside joke. I'm not sure. Gabriella, on the other hand, looked like she wasn't having any of it. "Yeah, um, just doing some Christmas shopping."

The guy then looked over at me, gave me a look like who the fuck was I, and then turned back to Gabriella. "Us, too. Um, actually, it's kind of cool that I'm running into you because I've been meaning to ask you when I can come by to drop some of your stuff off."

Oh wow. This just got a bit awkward. I look over at Gabriella and it looked like she just wanted to laugh. The girl he was with looked a bit uncomfortable and this guy had a smug look on his face. Like he's proud of having an ex girlfriend meeting the new girlfriend or whatever, I don't know. It's really fucking uncomfortable and really fucking rude, if I do say so myself.

"Oh, I don't really want my stuff back," she tells him as she pushes some hair behind her ear, "you can throw all that out if you want."

"Throw it out?" he chuckled a bit, "you actually want me to throw away your stuff?"

Gabriella shrugged, "I mean, none of it really matters to me anymore. What did I even leave there?"

Okay. I have NO idea what happened between them, but I think so far, it's Gabriella, 1 and this guy, 0. He looks like he's so embarrassed right now and she is just, like, owning him. I don't know. I feel proud of her because I feel like she's this really sweet girl who lets people walk all over her or something.

But no, I'm probably wrong. Maybe she's strong and stands up for herself. And doesn't have a problem saying what's on her mind.

I mean, she did basically orchestrate this whole hang out situation. If she didn't confront me about avoiding her and kissing her, maybe we wouldn't be here. So yeah, I probably am wrong. Gabriella can hold her own.

"Are you serious?" he asks with another laugh as his girlfriend looks on, a bit uncomfortable, "it doesn't matter to you anymore? I seriously doubt it because last I heard, you were still pretty upset about the breakup."

Gabriella looked like she wanted to get the hell out of there and that maybe she wasn't exactly owning him. "I don't know where you heard that."

This guy shrugged, and let go of his girlfriend's hand, "people, Gabriella. We do go to the same school. We do have the same friends."

She looked defeated. It looked like she literally had no comeback and I felt bad. I felt like I wanted to help her, but I seriously had no idea what in the world that I could possibly say. I mean, I don't know their situation AT ALL.

"Hey man," I step in, "we're kind of hanging out here and hearing that she's upset about your breakup is not something we want to hear. Nor is it true..."

He looked over at me like he couldn't believe I was even talking, "who are you?"

I laugh a bit and then extend my hand, "oh, I'm Troy."

"Troy," he repeats, not grabbing my hand at all, just glancing over at Gabriella as if he's looking for an answer.

"Yeah, Troy," I tell him, "and look, I can assure you Gabriella is not upset about your breakup so when she says you can throw her stuff out, I'm pretty sure she means it. Am I right?"

Once Gabriella realizes I'm talking to her, she wakes up and nods her head, "oh yeah, yeah, no, he's right. You can throw all my stuff out."

This guy looked like he couldn't believe what was happening and honestly, I couldn't believe it, either. Who knew this is how our afternoon would turn out. Me helping her out with an ex boyfriend. But I mean, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

"Sorry, we have to get going," I tell him before looking back at Gabriella and offering her my hand. She looked at me, looked down at my hand and then smiled and finally went along with it and grabbed it, "nice meeting you."

And with that, we walked away, made our way up the escalator and saw him walk away, leaving his girlfriend in the same place we were just at.

Once we reached the top, Gabriella looked over at me and couldn't have looked more thankful about everything. "You really didn't have to do that, you know, but thank you so much. I owe you one."

"It was nothing," I shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal about it, "I don't know what happened, but he was being pretty annoying."

"Yeah," she says as we walk to Lemonade, where we were going to eat, "yeah, um, it's just weird when you think you know someone, but you don't."

I know exactly what she means. "No, yeah, it sucks. I know."

And now suddenly, I want to know everything about her past dating life. Why her last relationship ended. If it was her longest one. If she was in love with him and if she actually in fact miss him and is pretty bummed out about their breakup.

So after we get our food, I ask her what happened and she starts explaining everything to me.


	27. Chapter 27: Gabriella

I couldn't believe I ran into Thomas. And his stupid girlfriend.

And I couldn't believe he actually said what he was said. I thought I was being ballsy telling him to throw away my stuff, but the minute he told me that he heard I was pretty bummed about the breakup, well, I froze. I seriously had no idea what to say or do. I knew he probably thought that I was telling him to throw my stuff away to embarrass him, but I wasn't at all. So, in turn, he told me that... and it was embarrassing.

Because you know what? I was. I was bummed about it because not only did he move on so fast, but the breakup happened so suddenly.

But when he threw it in my face, I knew it was best that we were no longer together.

What I didn't expect, though, was for Troy to jump in and save the day. Seriously. He saved me. The look on Thomas' face was priceless and I so badly wish that I could have taken a picture of it or something.

Troy made it seem like we were seriously dating. The way he grabbed my hand and defended me... I mean, Thomas got it. He's not an idiot. He knows this guy is with me. And he totally fell for it. And yeah, we're dating, but it's not anything serious. But it was nice he made it out that way for my benefit.

And now he wants to know what happened and I'm not sure I want to tell him, but I guess it's only fair, right?

Also, it's completely normal for people who are dating you to want to know why your last relationship didn't work out. So I guess I should tell him everything.

"We were together for about half a year, so not that long, but I thought it was kind of serious," I start off, "the last few weeks of it, I don't know, we were just fighting all the time, but I didn't think we'd break up. People fight, right? So I just thought it was a little setback in our relationship, but we'd just fight about everything... him ditching me out of nowhere to go hang with his friends, him double booking, I don't know. You name it, we fought over it..."

I paused for a second and looked up at him and he was listening. Full on listening. No phone on the table, no playing with sugar packets like I was. He was just listening to me and it felt nice.

So I continued, "it did get to the point where I was over it, but I thought, 6 months? We made it this far, I don't know... but he had the same idea and yeah, we broke up. It's gonna sound weird since we fought all the time, but I just didn't expect it. Thought it might not be permanent, but it was. It is."

"Why didn't you think it would be permanent?" he asked me as he reached for a drink.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I really don't have an answer, I just didn't. But a month after we broke up, he had a new girlfriend... that girl he was with. It wasn't some girl he was starting to date, no, a full on girlfriend so I mean, he probably cheated on me."

"You think he cheated on you?" he sounded surprised, "really?"

Well... wouldn't he think that if things were reversed? "It just seemed really soon to me. I have no proof, but I mean, I'm not ruling it out."

Troy nodded, like he got it, but didn't exactly agree with it. And I didn't really understand why. "I don't know. I think if you don't have proof, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and think that. It shouldn't be what you think of when you think of him."

"Well, why not? It seems pretty obvious. He would ditch me and a month later, he has a girlfriend?"

"I don't know, cheating sucks," he tells me, "and if you don't know for sure, then you shouldn't think it. It's better to not think you got cheated on."

Hmm. Why is he telling me all of this? Did he...? No. Yeah, right. But I mean, there's only one way to find out. To ask. "Were you cheated on or something?"

He looked at me, looked away and as I was regretting asking that question, he looked back at me. His blue eyes were looking into mine and everything kind of just stopped for a second, I don't know why. "Yeah."

Oh wow. Okay. I don't really know what to say now other than the obligatory "sorry." So yeah, I'm gonna go with that. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he shrugs it off, "it fucks with you emotionally and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, so yeah."

"It's just hard not to think that," I'm honest with him, "but you're right. I shouldn't assume. I shouldn't jump to conclusions because I really have no idea what happened and if he did or not."

And then suddenly, I wanted to stop talking about me. About Thomas. Abut what happened. And just talk about him. His past dating life. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I thought for some reason, he didn't do girlfriends. And that should be an indicator of why I should stay away. But like I said, I just can't. And so, now I'm interested. I want to know what happened. How long they were together for... all of it.

But it seems like he doesn't want to talk about it, so I don't know if I want to push it. At least not today even though we are on the topic of it, you know?

"Thank you," Troy tells the person who brought over our food just now.

And once we both dig in, I realize it's better to just drop it. He looks over it. It looks like he doesn't want to talk about it, and I don't really want to force him to, even though he kind of did bring it up. But nah. I'm not going to push it or say anything else for now.

I'm fine just sitting here, eating some delicious food and staring at him from across the table.

Because he is so unbelievably hot. So beautiful.

* * *

><p>"We're going to grandma's house if you want to come," my mom tells me as she steps foot into my room, "everyone's going."<p>

"Oh, okay," I tell her, sitting up a bit and locking my phone for a minute. I'm not sure if I want to go. Troy just asked if I was busy, but I also told Sasha we could grab some food if she's feeling better so... "how long are you going to be there?"

My mom shrugged as she stood at the end of my bed, "I don't know, probably til later, you know how it is..."

Yeah, everyone gets there, they all start talking and playing poker and an hour turns into four. And I mean, I miss my grandparents, I should go and see them, but I have two other offers right now. "Okay, maybe."

"Do you have something planned?"

"Sort of," I kick my covers off me a bit, "Sasha has a headache, but if she feels better, we were going to go grab some sushi or something."

"Oh," it looked like she didn't really believe me or something, "thought you might have had plans with Troy or something."

In her defense, we have hung out the past three days together. But it wasn't for the whole day. One day it was lunch, the other it was shopping, and another day it was a movie. But isn't that what you're supposed to do when you're starting to date someone? Hang out with them as much as you possibly can to see if it can actually go anywhere? It's not like I'm ditching all my friends, no way, we're just... we like hanging out together. Well, I do.

So yeah, I wasn't surprised she thought that. "Well, maybe him, too. I don't know yet."

"How's that going?" she asks me, taking a seat on my bed now.

"Fine," I shrug. I haven't really talked to my mom about it. She asked me last week and I just told her it was fine, like I did now, but I didn't go into any details because well, I don't know. I kind of wanted to keep it to myself for a bit. "It's fine, mom."

"Just fine?" she asks, "you seriously haven't told me anything about it. About him. About how you two even got together. I'm your mom, I deserve to know."

I guess she does. And I usually tell her everything, but I just, I don't know, I feel like this is something I want to keep close to me before letting anyone else in. I don't really want to tell her much. I know she's gotten close to Troy's mom and them talking about us is the last thing I want.

But I know my mom is not going to leave my room unless I give her something. "We're just figuring things out right now, mom. It's nothing serious."

"I know you and I know you want to see the good in everybody, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

"He's a nice guy, mom," I defend him even though I'm not exactly sure she's insulting him. "He's an 18 year old guy. Who cares if he doesn't have his life totally together. It's fine. Not a big deal. Doesn't change how he makes me feel."

"No, yeah, yeah, of course," she looks a little mortified that I think she's insulting him, "I just know that he hasn't been having the easiest year and I don't want either of you getting hurt. You're in high school and you have to remember it doesn't always work out the way you want it to, okay?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She gave me this exact same talk with Thomas. About being in high school. And we're both young and blah blah blah. But I don't know, for some reason, I feel like it's different this time around.

I feel like she's directing it at Troy, and although she's always been very nice to him at church and whenever she does see him, I feel like she's not for it.

"I like him mom and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon," I tell her, "sorry."

"Sorry?" she looks at me weirdly, "no, sweetie, you don't need to apologize. You know all I care about is if you're happy and if the person who's making you happy is a believer and has a good heart. And though I don't know Troy on a personal level, I know enough from his mom to know he's both those things."

He is a believer and he does have a good heart, as far as I know. "We're just figuring things out right now. I don't know..."

She gave me a smile and got up, "I trust you. And I know you always follow your heart and make the right decisions, I'm not worried."

"Thanks, mom," I smile at her, happy she said that.

Because the last thing I need right now is someone not wanting us together.


	28. Chapter 28: Troy

I don't even remember who I kissed last New Year. That's how fucking annoying I was.

But this year... this year, when I actually have someone that I want to kiss and ring in the New Year with, she's gone. She's not here with me.

Gabriella and her family go to Aspen every year after Christmas for a few days and they ring in the New Year there. It's a tradition and so I can't really be mad about it, but I am bummed. I'm bummed that I won't get to kiss her when the clock strikes midnight.

I'll be... alone. Well, I'll be in a sea of people, but still alone.

And I've never really been into the whole "let's kiss at midnight" tradition, but for some reason, when we started hanging out and I realized it was almost New Years, I got really excited. I was excited that I could potentially kiss her. And even though things are still good and we're still hanging out and if she was here, we'd most definitely be kissing, I was still a bit bummed.

"She'll be back before you know it," Jason tells me as he hands me a beer, "come on, not everyone's going to kiss someone at midnight."

"I know, it's not about that too much. I just, I wish we could be hanging out right now."

Jason looks like he wants to start laughing out loud, but not because he wants to make fun of me and thinks I'm being lame because I'm bummed over a girl not being here. But because he knows how adamant I was about not wanting to date anyone or hang out with any girls.

And here I am... wanting to hang out with Gabriella. Basically dating her, right? I mean, I'd say we are. I hope we're on the same page about that.

"So you're really giving this a go with her?"

"Yeah, I mean, she's really cool, Jase, and I don't know, I like hanging out with her. It's easy."

"Well, easy is definitely what you need," he tells me and I couldn't agree more, "and she does seem cool and stuff. Have you told her everything about your parents and shit? Or is she still in the dark about all of that?"

We walked outside and set some cups down on the table for people to get drinks when they get here. Jason has an annual New Years eve party that started, well, a long time ago with his parents. I used to come all the time when I was a kid. And just last year, it turned into more of a high school thing. His parents go to a friend's house for New Years now and so we have the place to ourselves for the party. And last year, well, it was pretty epic.

And it was just what I needed at the time. So yeah, I got pretty trashed.

But this year, it's a different vibe. I'm... I'm happier. I'm feeling better. And is it because of Gabriella? Yeah, sure. But also, I look at my mom and she just looks... happy. She looks stress free. She looks younger. And just looks like she's enjoying life again.

My dad, too. My dad gets up and runs three miles and then goes off to work. He comes home, usually when I'm about to start doing homework and he'll cook and we'll talk. He'll tell me about his day, I'll tell him about mine. And it's nice. We're getting along better now. I'm not as mad as I was with him.

I'm not as mad as I was in general. And if Gabriella helped changed that, well, I'm grateful to her. Very grateful.

But I also don't think she did it all. That message in church one Sunday really got to me. About forgiveness. And just letting everything go. And that's really what I'm trying to do here. I don't want to live my life with anger and frustration and holding grudges against someone, you know? I just want to be happy and healthy and let what's going to happen, happen.

"She knows," I don't exactly tell him when she found out, "yeah, she knows. It wasn't something I could really hide since my mom's friends with her mom."

"What, and she was telling her all about it?" Jason laughed, knowing how my mom was.

"Basically, yeah. I don't know. It felt nice telling her, like she literally got where I was coming from, although I'm sure she was humoring me," I remember the exact conversation, her looking like she just understood and feeling like she wasn't judging me for acting the way I was acting, "in a way, she kinda made me feel like my behavior was justified even though it's definitely not, but it felt good not hearing shit from her, you know?"

Jason nodded as he put some more beers in the ice chest, "well, yeah, Morgan is supportive of everything, but she definitely gave you shit and has been giving you shit. Brett, well, he's just annoying."

I laughed. Brett was annoying, but we loved him anyway. "It's weird, man. I hate to be this guy, but I don't know... I like her."

"Well, I don't hate you being this guy. I'm happy for you. You deserve someone great, despite everything. You know you do," he tells me and looks like he wants to hug me and although, we're as close as guys get, nah, we shouldn't end this moment with a hug... ha. "Maybe you guys can double date with Julie and I one of these days. That'll be fun. Julie's been asking me about her."

"That would be fun," I can already picture it because Julie and Gabriella have so much in common. They're both pastor's daughters. They're both ridiculously smart and they're both just nice people. "yeah, yeah, let's give it a couple more weeks, though."

Jason laughed and patted me on the back, "yeah, of course, man. Not now, way too early for some double dating. It'll be fun, though."

And with that, Brett, Chase and and some of our other friends started emerging from inside the house, ready to party.

But all I could really do was think about Gabriella. And how I miss her...

* * *

><p>"How was Aspen?" I ask Gabriella as soon as the waitress leaves.<p>

She moves her menu to the side a bit and grabs her napkin, taking out the utensils tucked away in them before looking up at me, "fun. It's always fun. But the weather was definitely better this year. Not as cold as it was last year, thank God. Or this year..."

I laughed, it was funny. She goes for New Years so technically the last time she was there was this year. "I've always wanted to go, heard it's nice."

"It is," she smiles at me grabbing her menu, "how was your New Years? Do anything fun?"

"It was fine," I shrug, also grabbing my menu to see what I wanted since I've never been to this restaurant before, "and I just did what I usually do... my friend Jason always has an annual New Years Eve party."

"Oh, sounds like fun," she tells me, looking away and down at her menu.

Pretty intently. Too intently for someone who's been here enough times to have something be her favorite. I mean, she picked the place. And I don't want to assume what she's thinking or what she's feeling, but I think I do. I think she's wondering if I had a New Years kiss with someone other than her since she wasn't here. I mean, if she was here, she would have definitely been mine. But she wasn't here, so I didn't have one.

I didn't kiss anyone at New Years. In fact, at 12:01, I hugged Jason and then my sister before going upstairs and crashing in the guestroom.

Technically, I could have because it's only been a few weeks, we're not together. We haven't talked about anything. We haven't made anything official. But it's just not something I'm interested in. I'm not interested in other girls. Gabriella is the only girl on my radar and she's the only girl I want to be kissing.

"It was okay," I'm trying to play it off like I didn't have much fun, "I crashed like a minute after midnight."

"Seriously?" she chuckled, but looked like she didn't quite believe me.

Like, who falls asleep a minute after midnight when they're at a party? Obviously me. Well, okay, it was five minutes, but whatever. "Yeah, yeah, rang in the new year and then I went upstairs and fell asleep in Jason's guestroom. I don't know, I was just really tired. Wasn't feeling it. I'm not much of a New Year's person. I was never really that stoked about a new year, nothing really changes anyway."

She gave me a small smile and I knew she knew what I was doing. I was assuring her that nothing happened and she's catching on because she's not dumb.

"Do you know what you're going to get?" she changes the subject as she pushes her menu off to the side of her.

"Oh, right," I open my menu and scan the whole thing, "um, what's good here?"

Before telling me, she took off her jacket and put it down next to her and then pushed her hair back behind her ears, "everything, basically. I always get the one taco, one tamale and rice and beans. But the fajitas are good. The enchiladas. The tacos..."

Okay, I think I decided, "The enchiladas. I'll go with those."

"Cool," Gabriella smiles at me as she grabs her menu and stacks it on top of mine before pushing them off to the side to let our waitress know we're ready.

And the minute she did that, she came by and asked us if we were ready and what we wanted to drink.

We ordered our food plus our drinks and when the waitress left, I turned back to her. And I just couldn't believe I was sitting across from her. I mean, she's seriously the most attractive girl I've ever talked to, much less hung out with. She's way out of my league, yet here she is, having dinner with me. I hope to God I don't blow it because that would really suck. Not only is she beautiful, but she's so fucking cool. Cooler than I thought she'd be.

And yes, I did judge her. At first, I thought she was this rebellious preacher's daughter. And then for a second, I thought she was this girl who was just boring and didn't do anything spontaneous or fun. But no, she's not either of those things.

She's just a cool chick. She's funny, she's nice, she's generous... and she's obviously understanding if she's here with me.

"So you had fun in Aspen?" I try to get conversation going. I know I already asked her ow it was, but she didn't really elaborate on it too much.

"Yeah, yeah, it was fun. It's always fun," she tells me, "my two aunts go so my cousins are there. I always take a friend, my sister brings her best friend. It's become a tradition in my family. It's nice, I like it."

I'm a bit jealous her family has a tradition like that, but obviously, I'm not going to tell her. "Why Aspen?"

Before she could answer, the waitress came by and dropped off our sodas. She immediately grabbed it and took a drink and then looked up at me. "Well, first of all, it's a mountain so perfect for Winter and snowboarding and stuff. And we honestly just picked out of a hat. Just threw a bunch of places in there that could be fun- Big Bear, Mammoth... and we got stuck with Aspen."

"That's cool," it really is. "You guys don't ever feel like switching it up and going to Big Bear or Mammoth the following year?"

"We thought about it, but we had a tradition in mind so we just kept going back. It was our 7th year this time," she tells me, "but it's great. I love it."

Wow. 7 years. I've never been so I don't know if I'd be bored of going for 7 years or not. Probably not since I heard it's really beautiful. "Do you go anywhere tropical during the summer as a tradition?"

She pushed she hair behind her ears and took another sip of her drink, "No, we change it up. We went to the Bahamas this past summer, which was really, really fun. A couple years ago, we went to Cancun. But it's not every summer, just whenever we can."

"I've been to the Bahamas," I tell her, remembering the trip we took 5 years ago with my sister, her best friend, and Jason, along with my parents and also Jason's parents. It was the best trip of my life, actually. "It's so great."

"Right?" her eyes lit up and it was the cutest thing, ever, "I forgot where i stayed but it had all these water slides and oh my gosh, so fun."

"Yeah!" We stayed at the same place! "Yeah, we stayed there, too. And I mean, I was 12 when we went, but I'm sure if I were to go now, I'd still enjoy it just as much. It was fun. The weather wasn't too bad, thank God, but there were so many fucking insects everywhere at all times, it was the absolute worst.."

I looked over at Gabriella and she was just sitting there smiling.

And my God, I probably think this way too much when I'm around her, but she's so fucking beautiful, it's insane.


	29. Chapter 29: Gabriella

Troy's looking at me as if he's trying to figure out if I'm okay or not.

And I am. I'm okay. I'm more than okay, actually. I'm great. And I'm happy. I'm happy to be back with him. I'm happy he basically told me he didn't kiss anyone at New Years. I'm happy he knocked out right after midnight. I'm happy we're about to eat some delicious Mexican food.

But what I'm most happy about? I'm happy that he just cussed in front of me. That he cusses in front of me.

I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous because I don't cuss. It's a sin. The bible says no foul language. But every single day, people sin. No one's perfect and if he cusses, fine. I still like him. My feelings don't change. It's not like he's hurting anyone.

It's just used to emphasizes things. I see it that way. And I'm not completely okay with people cussing, but if they do, I don't say anything about it.

Basically, I just like that he's being himself and he's not changing for me. He's not censoring himself for my benefit and I appreciate that. I mean, whenever I'm around my cousin, since she doesn't eat meat and thinks it's disgusting, I try not to get a burger because I want to be sensitive to her beliefs and values. And so maybe I should feel upset when people cuss around me because they're not being sensitive to the fact that I don't like that, but it's just something that is common now. People cuss. And I'm okay with it.

"I'd definitely go back," I tell her, grabbing my drink once again and taking a sip, "it was one of my favorite trips of my life."

"Mine, too," he smiles at me.

Sometimes, I just look at him and wonder how I got so lucky. I mean, he's nice and he's been exceptionally sweet to me and conversation is just SO easy with him, but he's also insanely hot. He's so beautiful, it almost hurts. And I can't believe that he's actually interested in someone as bland as me.

It's insane, really, but hey, I'm not going to complain about it because I like it.

10 minutes later or so, our waitress came by with our food and I was SO excited to dig in. And I was excited for Troy to try his enchiladas because I love this place so much and I want him to want to come back... with or without me. Either way, I'm fine with it.

"Okay, these are some of the best," he tells me after a few bites, "the chips and salsa were reason enough to come back, but these are really good."

YAY. Success. "I'm glad. It's one of my favorite restaurants, ever."

30 minutes later, we were done eating, paying the check and walking to the car. As I sat in his passenger's seat, I thought about this and where it was going. And I know it's only been, like, a couple of weeks, but I'm not seeing anyone else and I really hope he's not planning on seeing anyone else, either because that would actually bum me out... a lot. I don't like sharing. Even if it's just during the dating period. I've never been in this period. Thomas and I went on 3 days before we became a couple, but it's because we were friends before that. Troy and I... not really. We were friendly, but not friends.

And so here I am, all of a sudden quiet and staring out the window like a sad puppy.

"You okay?" he asks before we even pull out of the parking lot, "did um... did something happen?"

I turn to him and he looks concerned and it was cute and it made me giggle a bit because that would be the only solution since a few minutes ago, I was all cheery and whatnot. But I don't know. It just hit me that he could very well like someone else as well, you know? And I really don't want that to be true.

But I have no idea how to approach it. How to basically tell him this needs to be exclusive or whatever. "Oh yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay," is all he tells me and I actually didn't expect that.

I kind of expect him to push it a little and ask me again, but nope, he doesn't ask again.

He gave me a smile and started the car and then looked behind him and proceeded to pull out of the parking spot. And then he pulled out of the parking lot and onto to the street and after a few minutes, I just couldn't really take it anymore. I'm not TOO shy of a person, but I also don't like getting rejected or anything like that. So of course I'm pretty nervous to come out and ask him.

But I HAVE to know. "Okay, I lied. Well, sort of. Nothing's really wrong, but I was just wondering... like, what are we doing? Are we, um, are we dating?"

Troy glanced over at me and once he came to a full stop at the convenient red light, he looked at me, I think trying to wonder if I had actually asked that question. And then he let out a small laugh. "What else would you call this?"

"I don't know, I mean, yeah, okay, but..."

"But are there any other girls?" he interrupts me, before hitting his foot on the gas since the light turned green.

Ugh. I'm that obvious. And probably super annoying. It hasn't been that long. And I know it's common, but in your 20's when you're out and about and not in high school, ya know? Dating multiple girls in high school is kind of... playerish. Right? But yes. I do want to know that. "Well, yeah..."

A smile came to his face that was followed by a small head shake, "No, there are no other girls."

"Okay," is my stupid response. I ask him this annoying question, the question on one ever wants to hear. Essentially asking him where this is going and then all I manage to say is, okay? Ha, I'm so freaking annoying.

"Things are good," he looks over at me quickly since he does have to keep his eyes on the road, "yeah?"

And I know that's his way of saying that we're not putting any titles on our relationship right now. Things are going fine just the way they're going. And yeah, I agree. There are no need for titles right now. I'm not even sure I'm ready to be his girlfriend. I just wanted to know if I was the only girl he was seeing.

Now that I know that I am, I can relax a bit. And just enjoy the rest of the day with him. "Yeah, yeah, things are good."

Things were good. And I hope they get better.

* * *

><p>"Supposedly, this movie is really good," Natalie tells me as she pops in the movie into the DVD player.<p>

We're watching August: Osage County with Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts and I'm okay with watching it. But I don't think Matt is. He has to go along with it, though, if he wants to be a good boyfriend. And I just don't have anything else to do so here I am, with my sister and her boyfriend on a Friday night.

She gave us a smile and came over and sat in between us before grabbing the remote control and hitting the menu button.

I grabbed the blanket hanging off the armrest and put it over me and got comfortable with m bowl of popcorn and my mango madness Snapple. I couldn't watch a movie without snacks. It's almost impossibly for me.

"How long is this movie?" Matt asks.

"Don't worry about it," Natalie responds as she turns to him, "do you have somewhere else you need to be?"

I looked over at Matt and couldn't help, but laugh. He was terrified of my sister. But not like legit terrified, he just never wanted to piss her off. And neither would I to be honest if I were her boyfriend. She doesn't take much crap from anyone. You cheat on her, you're dead. You lie to her, she pretty much wants to end the relationship. But at the same time, she's the most supportive, generous, easy going girlfriend you could ever want. So of course he loves her and would never think about hurting her. And I love them together. I really do. I think they're a perfect match and one day, they're going to get married.

Matt shook his head and put his arm around her, "no, of course not."

"Good," she nuzzled her head into him, "if you don't complain at all, we'll get pinkberry after this."

"Sold," he laughs and takes the control from her and puts play and the movie starts playing, "I'm a sucker for pinkberry."

We all know. That boy lives on pinkberry.

The movie started playing and so far, so good. My sister wasn't talking, asking any questions, like she usually does during movies at home if one of us have already seen the movie. That one being me. I was okay with watching it again. It was a good movie and it earned Oscar nominations, so why not?

And then an hour into the movie, it's 8:45, my phone starts vibrating and once I realize it's not a text, I quickly look for it inside this blanket of mine and once I see who it is, I smile, and answer it right away.

My sister grabs the remote, looks over at me with a dirty look and pauses the movie. "Hello?"

"Sorry," I mouth to her before getting up and walking away to the kitchen where I have some peace and quiet. I've seen the movie anyway.

Troy. Troy was calling me. And it was a nice surprise. We don't really talk on the phone. We've only talked on the phone twice. The first time was because he was asking how to get to this restaurant he was going to in Newport that he knows I frequent and he didn't really have time to look it up online or something like that. And the second time, he called to tell me he was outside my house.

So yeah, I had to answer. It was either an emergency or I don't know, I just felt the need to answer his call.

"What are you doing?" he asks me through the phone.

"Nothing much, I was watching a movie with Natalie and her boyfriend, but it's a movie I've already seen." I sit down on one of the stools around my kitchen island and smile to myself. It was just a phone call to talk. And that made me happy. "What about you, what are you doing?"

"Nothing," he tells me, "I'm just at home, bored out of my mind."

He's home on a Friday night? I mean, he can't lie about that. If he was at a party, I'd doubt he'd call. And I think I'd be able to hear people in the back. But also, he could very much be in his car on the way to the party and just not tell me about it.

But I don't know. It's kind of nice he's home on a Friday night, not doing anything. Not out drinking and partying.

"Oh," I don't really know what else to say to that. I'm not bored out of my mind so I can't say, me too. And also, inviting him over seems pointless since he's in Laguna. "Well, why don't you do something?"

"Are you busy?" he suddenly asks me, "because I may or may not be down the street from you."

What? He told me earlier he was staying in Laguna tonight to hang out with his dad or something like that. I can't exactly remember the text right now, but he wasn't supposed to be in Newport. What's he doing here? Is everything okay? I'm a little confused, but of course I want to see him. "Come over."

I could hear him shift his phone from one ear to the other, "I'll see you soon."

Okay. I'm about to hang out with Troy Bolton. And I'm so happy. I... miss him. I haven't seen him since Monday. And that just feels like such a long time even though it's not. It's four days. I'm just... I'm sprung.

Ah, now I have to go change and tell my sister and Matt, which I'm sure they'll be happy about. Who wants their sister third wheeling?

"Hey, I'm gonna go hang with Troy," I tell her, which makes her immediately pause the movie and look over at me.

"Right now?" she looked a bit confused, "I thought he was staying in Laguna tonight?"

"I guess not," I shrug, not wanting to really say much else. I was in yoga pants and my brother's soccer sweatshirt. My hair was up and I just looked like I've been doing nothing all day, which is not the vibe I want to give out. OR it's not the look I necessarily want him to see me in. "I'm gonna go..."

And with that, I was about to rush upstairs, but the doorbell rang. And the stairs were directly in front of the door so if he were to look in, he'd see me running up the stairs and that wouldn't look so good.

Ugh. So I had to open the door for him in these clothes. Looking like a bum. Looking like someone who's been sleeping for hours.

I took a deep breath, fixed my hair a tad and then opened the door.

"Hey," he smiles at me.

"Hi," I hold the door open so he can come in.

He wipes he feet a bit on the mat outside and then comes in and I think he's a bit confused on whether or not he should give me a kiss hello. And I am, too. But then he doesn't. And I'm okay with it, I guess. But now it's a bit awkward. We're both just standing here.

But he eventually speaks up. "Do you want to go grab some dessert? Or some food?"

I'm always down for something sweet, to be honest. It's my weakness. "Um, yeah, sure. Let me just go change really quick. I was just lounging around..."

"No, you don't have to," he tells me, stopping me in my tracks, "we're not going anywhere fancy. And you look fine."

"What?" I turn around and I realize he's not dressed up or anything. He's wearing jeans and a basketball hoodie as well from his school and I mean, I guess my outfit isn't totally bad, I'd wear it out to run errands, but I like this guy. I want him to find me attractive at all times. But if he's telling me it's fine, and that I look fine, I guess I should just go for it. "Okay, yeah, let's go."

I grab my keys and my wallet that are on the front table and we make our way out. I don't bother saying bye to my sister and Matt because well, I'm sure they're into their movie and they know I'm going out with him. They'll figure it out that I left.

And as we're walking to his car, before we get to it, he kind of stops me a bit by grabbing onto my hand.

We're not facing each other and he's smiling at me a little bit. And I'm giving him a smile back, trying to decide what's going on here. But it's pretty clear what he's going to do after he leans down.

"Hi," he tells me before closing the gap between us by placing his lips on mine.

I smile against his lips and can't help, but feel giddy and excited about this. We're at the point where we're kissing hello. "Hi."

He pulls away, chuckles a bit and then we make our way to his car. He opens the door for me like a gentleman and then walks around and gets in the drivers seat and I just sit here, smiling like an idiot to myself.

Because so far, so good with Troy Bolton. I'm happy, he makes me happy. And I want this to work out.

I want it to work out badly because I'm starting to really like him.


	30. Chapter 30: Troy

Originally, I was going to stay in Laguna, have dinner with my dad, maybe go over to Jason's and just chill out, play some video games.

But I missed Gabriella. Like, to the point where I just had to see her, talk to her in person.

And I took a chance just getting in my car and driving up to Newport because I had no idea what she had going on. I hadn't talked to her since after school so I had no idea if she had plans or not with her friends. Or if she had homework. A project to do. Anything, really.

Luckily, she didn't, so it worked out for me. Thank God.

It's crazy. I was literally just laying in bed, waiting for my dad to get home and trying to decide what we could have for dinner, then I hopped on Instagram and my whole planned changed because she posted a picture her and Sasha had taken in Chemistry class today. They had on lab goggles and were both holding beakers that were steaming or something, I don't really know.

All I know is that she looked so fucking cute in the picture that it just made me want to hang out with her. Is that weird? Is that creepy? Maybe. But I don't know. I just had to get in my car, pray she had no plans, and do something with her. Anything.

"Do you have a favorite?" Gabriella asks as she looks up at me from looking at all the different cupcakes at Sprinkles.

"Oh, not really, I'm not picky," I tell her, looking down at all the choices, "I usually go with Red Velvet, but I think I'm gonna try a carrot one."

She nods before looking back at all the cupcakes, "I think I'll go with the pumpkin."

Cool. I love when girls don't take forever to decide what they want. I mean, I don't ever want to compare them, but once I came here with Kenzie and she literally looked at all the cupcakes three or four times. Took SEVEN FUCKING MINUTES to decide what she wanted to have. I mean, it's a fucking cupcake... why does she need to take so long to decide? She sees how they all look and shit. I don't know. I'm getting mad just thinking about it all over again.

But then I look at Gabriella and everything's fine again... because she's so fucking beautiful and so full of life, it's hard to be angry around her. It really is.

When we get our cupcakes, we go outside and sit at one of the tables outside the place.

"How was school?" she asks me.

"It was fine," I shrug, not really knowing what else to say about that. School sucks. It's boring. And I think she assumes I may not be doing well, but school's the one thing I excel at without really trying. I have straight A's with only one B, which I'm hoping to get up real soon. "School's not really my thing."

She didn't look surprised by it, which okay, I can't be offended by since I just admitted it. "It can be boring."

She's cute. I know she likes school. "You love school."

Gabriella smiles as she shakes her head and laughs, "okay, yeah, maybe I do. I'm such a dork, but I get a rush when I learn something new and I'm able to comprehend it and I don't know. It's not all that bad. But yeah, I'm in the minority."

"No, yeah, for sure. Learning is a rush, I just, some things I'm never going to use in life so it all seems useless, but it's important, for sure."

"Yeah," she tells me, looking down at her cupcake and grabbing a piece to eat, "are you going to go to college or no?"

I mean, I hate college talk. But this is a girl I like. If it turns into something... more, I have to be able to talk to her about these things. "No, yeah, I am. It's important. And I don't hate it that much. School actually comes naturally to me so I don't know why I even complain. We'll see who accepts me."

She gave me a small smile, "anywhere out of state?"

"Nah, local," I shake my head. I can't imagine going anywhere outside of California even though a year ago, I would have wanted to get the hell out of here to get away from everything and anything, "UC Irvine, UC San Diego, Long Beach State, Chapman..."

"Oh, really? My sister goes to Irvine, she really likes it," she tells me, "I actually applied there myself. And Chapman. UCLA. USC. Keeping it semi local, too."

"Yeah, I mean, it's a great school and it's local," I shrug, "so we'll see. I'm sure you'll get into all of those."

She puts her head down as if she's embarrassed at how smart she is, or how much of an overachiever she is, but no way. It's incredibly attractive to see someone who doesn't slack, who tries in school and all that.

And she's already really attractive to begin with, so, she just wins at life.

10 minutes later, we were done with our cupcakes and it was getting pretty cold, so we decided to go get some hot chocolate at this really good, local coffee shop that's open until 11 or so, thank God. One, I wanted hot chocolate. And two, I didn't exactly want to ho home yet.

"Do you need to be home at a certain time?" I ask her as we're walking back to my car.

She takes her lips off her hot chocolate cup and turns to me, "oh, no, no. I don't really have a curfew."

What? Is she serious. "You don't?"

"No," she laughs, "I know that sounds insane since I'm a teenage girl and my dad's a pastor, but no. I mean, I definitely can't just stay out until 2 AM and not tell them where I'm at. It's just a mutual understanding that I'll check in if I'm late or get home at a reasonable time for them. I don't know, it works."

"That makes sense. Also, I don't think you're ever out doing anything bad anyway."

"Right," she tells me, putting her cup of hot chocolate in between her legs so she can buckle up.

It's so refreshing to be with a girl like her. A girl who isn't out getting drunk every single night of the weekend. Or smoking and acting crazy. I mean, okay, Megan's been my only girlfriend, really, but I've hooked up with girls. 90% of the time they were drunk with no substance whatsoever. NO conversation. No nothing. Pure hook up. And they were all girls you wouldn't necessarily want to bring home to your mom. No way.

But Gabriella definitely is. And although a guy in high school who parties and drinks with his buddies might classify her as boring, she's anything but.

She's just so... nice. And inviting. And interesting. And funny. God, she's funny. Like, really funny. Something I didn't expect.

I look over at her, she's staring straight ahead, putting her lips up to her cup to take another sip of her hot chocolate and I can't help, but think how beautiful she is and how lucky I am to be with her right now... hanging out.

Because I'm sure she has way better options than me, yet here she is... grabbing hot chocolate with me.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

><p>Sam was going to LA for the day because she had to go to UCLA to get a book.<p>

And so she asked me to meet her there and we could spend the day together, have lunch, do some shopping or whatever. Which I was so down for. I had nothing going on today. And I missed my sister. Plus, I could definitely get some new shoes and my sister always tells me what looks best.

"I can't believe in a few short months, I'm back in the OC for the summer," she squeals as she grabs her iced tea.

"Time flies," I tell her. It was really hard at first, but it really has gone pretty fast. It's January! FOUR more months until she comes back home, "you decided not to take any summer classes?"

"Nah," she shakes her head, grabbing a piece of bread from the center of the table, "I want summer."

Who doesn't? I definitely wouldn't want to take summer classes. Luckily, I've never had to. "Mom wants to take us somewhere this summer, did she tell you?"

Sam nodded as she took her phone out from her purse and set it on the table. "Yeah, she did. But I was also talking to dad and he said he'd like to take a family vacation somewhere so I don't know if they're planning something together or it's just pure coincidence that they both want to."

Oh God. I actually wouldn't put it past them. "They've been spending time together, which should make me happy, but it weirds me out. Like, you guys aren't together. Stop pretending like everything's okay."

"Well, maybe everything is okay and they're friends. Or they're trying to mend everything. I think it's nice. Who doesn't want their parents together?"

"I get it, Sam. I just... like, don't get our hopes up. If you're working things out, do it privately so we'll never know if it doesn't work out for a second time, you know? I don't want to go through the again. And I'm sure you don't want to either."

She nods, grabbing her phone, "no, yeah, I definitely get where you're coming from. I just think it's nice that they're friends."

Yeah, I guess so. They were the best of friends before they got married. Like not Morgan and I status, but really good friend so yeah, it's nice there's still a friendship there, for sure. But it's just weirding me out a little bit.

"Anyway, what's new?" she changes the subject after checking her phone, "what have you been up to?"

"Same old stuff," I grab my coke, "school and shit."

"But now you have a girlfriend," she mentions before giving me one of her Sam smiles, "how's that going for you? I was insta stalking her, thank God her profile is not private and you know, she's definitely not what I expected when I found out she was a pastor's daughter."

No, yeah, I know. It's not like we expected her to be, like, bland and have long skirts. But I don't know. You grow up watching movies and see how they're portrayed in there and yeah, it's just different. It's not like the movies. "I know."

Sam laughs, "That might sound judgy, but you get it. She just... she looks fun. That's probably really horrible to say, but it's true. She seems fun."

"She is," I agree with her, "not in the, let's go out and party type of way where she's letting loose and shit. But a different kind. She's incredibly funny. And she's so easy going. I don't know. It's easy with her. I like it."

"This coming from the guy that swore off girls after Megan," my sister laughs, "that didn't last long."

Well, it lasted some months. So... better than nothing, I guess. "It's whatever. Who knows what will even happen."

My sister looks like she was happy I wasn't getting my hopes up. I mean, college is around the corner, but at the same time, I just wanted to enjoy every second I had with her. "Normally, I'd say be realistic, but this girl looks like one of those girls that could look worth it, so I don't know, keep hanging out."

"Oh, I fully intend to," I laugh, "I already really like her."

"Good," she says, "because I like seeing you this way. I like seeing you happy."

Well, I like being happy, too.


	31. Chapter 31: Gabriella

"So you're really giving this a try with Troy, eh?" Sasha asks me as she sticks her fork in my salad and takes some.

"I guess so, yeah," an instant smile appears on my face. I just can't really help it. These past few weeks with him have been great. And I don't really want them to end. "What do you think about it?"

Sasha shrugged as she reached for some fries. It seemed like she was more interested in the food than the conversation, but I don't blame her since we haven't eaten all day. And it's 2 pm. That's a long time for us.

We were too busy whale watching, though, which was so much fun, but I'll save that story for another day.

"I mean, he's nice, definitely," she shrugged, once again, "I just don't see it. You're so... I don't know, perfect. And he's... not."

"No one's perfect," I defend him, and I'm not sure why. Sasha's been my friend for way longer. I do remember her saying he's not someone she'd want to be friends with, though, and that bums me out because her and I ARE friends. "Why don't you like him?"

Sasha shook her head and chuckled a bit, "I never said I didn't like him, Gabs. We're just not really friends. I just think you can do a lot better. Is he really boyfriend material?"

That's in the back of my mind a lot, I'm not gonna lie. But I just can't deny my feelings right now. And also, he's been perfectly fine with me.

"I'm having fun with him," I feel kind of mad at her, but I shouldn't. We're all entitled to our own opinions, "and I have no idea if this is going to lead to a relationship, but I'm not opposed to it right now. He's been nothing but nice, charming, and fun towards me."

"Then that's good," Sasha smiles at me before stuffing her face with some pasta, "it's your life. I just, just be careful. He hooked up with my friend and then totally just ditched her."

That's definitely not something I wanted to hear, but whatever. He's an 18 year old guy. Why wouldn't he hook up with girls?

And I'll be lying if that's not a concern of mine since he's so hot, he can get any girl and not be tied down, but I just have this gut feeling that nothing about this is wrong. That it's okay that we're dating. And I just hope I'm not wrong about it.

"Well, maybe that'll happen to me," I joke, even though it's a possibility. It's always a possibility when you're dating.

"Shut up," she rolls her eyes, "I know I'm saying be careful, but I mean, if someone cheats on you, that's crazy. That's literally insane. You're a guy's dream. They'd be so dumb to mess that up."

Okay, is she contradicting herself or just trying to make me feel better? "Sash, I'm okay."

She gave me a small smile and reached for her drink, "I just never would have put you two together, but if that's what's making you happy, then go for it. Thomas has moved on, so you should too. If you're happy with him, then that's all that really matters."

I am happy. I kind of... miss him. I think that's how you tell if you like someone.

And just as this conversation ended, my phone buzzed. I picked it up and I tried to mask the instant, enormous smile on my face.

It was from Troy.

And I never struck him as this guy to send these cute texts since he has such a tough exterior, but I was wrong. He's so sweet. He literally makes me feel like I'm better than I am. I don't want to say he makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world because that's so cheesy and cliche, but I mean, it's sort of true.

_I can't wait to see you tonight. _

That's it. It's so simple. And yet, here it is, making me smile like an idiot.

And Sasha definitely picked up on it. "Forget what I said. Make your own opinions and just be happy. You deserve that."

"Thanks, Sash."

I was happy. I AM happy. And I hope it continues to be this way.

* * *

><p>Sophie pulled her hair out of her face and threw her head back to grab her hair into a ponytail.<p>

We were about to embark on a five mile run. Well, we were going to attempt to. Usually, it's doable. But we've been eating so much these past few weeks since it was the holiday's and stuff, it's safe to say we've gained a couple of pounds.

"What are you doing later?" she asks, stretching out her arm, "Chris and I are gonna get sushi. Probably with Sasha, too."

"Oh, I'm going to dinner with Troy," I also throw my head back to put my hair in a ponytail, "we're trying that new steakhouse that just opened up in Costa Mesa. Supposedly it's good."

Right away, I noticed her face kind of dropped. And I didn't exactly get why. I mean, we're always talking about trying out new places to eat at so maybe that's it. Did I tell her that I'd try that place out with her or something and that's why she looks weird about it? I don't think I did. Or did I? No. I couldn't have because I literally just heard about this yesterday from Troy.

Something was up, though. "What?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head and lifts her leg up on the park bench.

"Soph, I've known you forever. What's up?"

"No," she shakes her head, "I don't want to talk about it. I just... okay. I don't want this to come out the wrong way or anything and I mean, he's a nice guy. He's always been so nice to me and welcoming, but just like, what exactly are you doing with him?"

What am I doing with him? I'm dating him? What does she mean? "Can you elaborate on that?"

She switches legs and bends over and touches her toe, "It's just, you have so much to offer. You're the perfect package and I don't know Troy that much on a personal level, but, he's just, the complete opposite of what you want on paper. He parties all the time, the times I've been around him, he's gotten drunk and was kind of just a mess. And okay, that was weeks and weeks ago, but I don't know. I didn't think you'd..."

"Well, like you said, he's nice," I interrupt her, feeling a little taken aback. I didn't expect to have this conversation. "And he's funny. And he's been nothing but a gentleman to me. We've been dating for some time now, though, why are you now bringing this up?"

She shakes her head, wanting to drop it, but I don't want to. "Let's just go run."

No. I want to know what exactly she's trying to say. "Just tell me, Soph. You think I can do better or something?"

"Maybe," she shrugs, "or maybe, I don't know. He's obviously super attractive and he is nice, don't get me wrong, but is there a part of you that's maybe just in this because you want to help him? Like, I know he's going through some shit and he hasn't been the happiest guy, according to Chase, so I don't know. It's your nature to do something like that."

Whoa. Wait. "You think I'm just dating him because I want to help him out? I want to change him? Get him to stop partying and drinking and all that?"

She just stood there, barely batting an eyelash.

"I get I like helping people to be better, yeah," I explain to her, "but in no way would I date someone to change them. You think that I don't really like him that much, I'm just trying to make his life easier by pretending some girl is into him so he'll stop going out and drinking and then in a couple months I'll dump him and everything will be better? He'll be a whole new Troy?"

Sophie looked like she regretted saying anything and feels bad about it, but I want to know how she feels. She's my best friend!

She sighed, leaned down to tie her shoe and then stood up and looked me right in the eyes. "I don't know, Gabs. It's just kinda weird to me that this guy is not someone you would normally go for. He's the complete opposite of what Thomas is and I know you. You LOVE helping people to become better. It's not that farfetched of an idea."

"No, it's not," I cut her some slack, "and yes, behaviorally, he's not my type. But I mean, he's so attractive to me. And he's nice and funny and has been nothing but sweet to me. I haven't seen that side of him and I know it exists because we've talked about it, but cutting someone off because of it, I just can't deny the chemistry between us. The feelings. The sparks. It's hard to explain."

"You're really into him?" she smiles, "if so, great. He's Chase's best friend. You're my best friend..."

"I know," I assure her I'm not upset about it, "it's honestly not that crazy, though, because I feel like this party boy thing isn't him. He hasn't been to one in weeks. I think it was just a phase and he was acting out."

Sophie shrugged, because what else is she gonna do? "Well, you know him better than I do. I just honestly want you to be happy."

I am happy. I'm really happy.

And it's only been a few weeks, but so far, so good. "I'm happy, Soph."

"Well, then I am, too," she smiles at me and then gives one last stretch to her leg, "you know I'm just fiercely protective."

"And I love you for that, I do, but I can handle it myself," I tell her, pinning back some hair with a bobby pin, "if he screws me over then that's on me. But for right now, I'm good with how things are going. I'm happy."

She smiled at me and I was so thankful for her. I know she means well. I know she only wants the best for me.

If that's Troy, great. If it's not, well, I'm gonna have to learn that on my own.

But for right now, it feels right.

And I don't want to give up on that yet.


	32. Chapter 32: Troy

"Hey, can I come in?" my mother is asking me as she gently knocks on my open door.

I appreciate it, so yes, of course she can come in. "Sure, what's up?"

She comes in holding some of my sweatshirts and puts them down on top of my dresser, "I washed these for you, please put them away. But I was wondering what you were doing tonight because Rebecca and I were going to grab some if you wanted to tag along..."

Tag along with them without Morgan there? No, thanks. Our moms can have girl time by themselves without us there.

"Actually, I'm on my way out to go pick up Gabriella," I tell her as I turn around and grab my wallet from my nightstand and put it in my pocket , "I'm not sure when I'll be home, probably not late."

"Oh," she smiles at me, "another day with Gabriella. That's nice. Where are you taking her?"

My mom's stoked on this. And I know after tonight, she'll be even more stoked. She thinks the world of Gabriella. She thinks she's beautiful and smart and one of the nicest teenage girls she's ever met. She's all for it. At first, she was a little iffy about it because she didn't want me to hurt her or whatever and yes, I definitely understood her concerns and where she was coming from, but something in me just mellowed out. And here I am...

About to ask Gabriella to be my girlfriend.

Yes, girlfriend.

"Javier's," I tell her, "it's her favorite restaurant. It's pretty good, too."

"Oh, that place is good," she smiles at me, "I'm sure you guys will have a nice night. Is it... is it getting serious?"

Well, she is my mother and she's going to find out sooner or later, so why not tell her? I wanted to keep this to myself until after, but what the hell. She'd be so happy to know what was going to take place tonight. And it is kind of her doing. She did force me to go to church where I met her. So in a way, I owe all of this to my mom. Right? Ha.

I smile at her and nod, "Actually, tonight, I'm gonna ask if she wants to be my girlfriend."

"You are?" Her eyes lit up and a big ole smile emerged on her face, "Troy, oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you. You... you were so, and now you're here. I'm, I'm glad you're happy. And I think you have yourself a keeper."

"I think so, too," I'm trying not to be cheesy and everything, but it's hard. She makes me SO happy that I just want to talk about it. "Hopefully she says yes."

"Oh, I'm sure she will," my mom looks at me as if I'm crazy, "if you're been yourself one hundred percent, there's no way she wouldn't want someone like you. You're great and I'm sure everything will go as planned and you guys will become an official couple."

She was so on board, it was crazy. She wanted this for me. Maybe because I've been happier later. Or maybe just because she thinks dating is an important part of your teens. She's probably the only mother who wants us to date. Ha.

But you never know. Sometime in the last three days that I've seen her, Gabriella could have easily decided it wasn't going to work out.

And tonight was the night she was going to let me know.

"We'll see," I tell my mom, grabbing my phone off my bed and heading towards the door, kind of kicking her out.

She followed me out and we both went down the stairs and towards the front door. I grabbed my keys from the key bowl and took one last look in the mirror above the key bowl to see if I looked alright, if I had gotten anything on my face within the last two minutes, but nah, I was fine.

My mom smiled at me as she opened the door for me, "I hope everything goes smoothly."

"Thanks, mom," I give her a hug.

And then I walk out, take a deep breath and make my way over to the car.

I'm so fucking nervous and I just pray things go well.

* * *

><p>"I mean, it's not really that big of a deal, I just don't really think I did anything wrong in this situation and... Troy?!"<p>

Fuck. I'm not listening to her. Shit. This isn't off to a good start. I quickly get out of my trance and look right at her and apologize, "Sorry. What?"

She gave me a worried look and didn't seem too mad about it, which is cool of her. And another reason why I like her so much. She's not uptight. She's so easy-going and she just lets shit go. Well, little things anyway. "What's up, are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, yeah, sorry," I think of something I can tell her so I don't seem like such an asshole, "sorry, I just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Why?" she immediately asks, "is everything okay?"

Oops. I should have known she was going to ask a follow up question. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just couldn't sleep for some reason. But I'm sorry. What were you saying? I'm all yours."

She smiles and pushes her plate away since she was done eating. "No, it's fine. It's not a big deal."

"No, tell me," I insist, I don't want her to stop talking about it because I didn't pay attention. I didn't pay attention because I was preoccupied thinking about how this night will turn out, not because I was uninterested in what she was saying. "I'm sorry. Please just tell me."

"Okay," she says quietly before preceding to tell me what she was telling me.

It was about an argument she had with one of her friends and she just wanted my take on it, which felt nice. Means she values what I think or whatever.

And when the waitress came with the check, I quickly picked it up, put my debit card in and slid it off to the side which she picked up immediately on her way back from another table.

I looked up at Gabriella and smiled, "not just because I'm insanely into you, but I don't think you did anything wrong whatsoever."

Gabriella laughed and it looked like I was making her blush, but you could barely tell. It just came out. I don't think I meant to say that. But hey, if it made her smile, then whatever, I'll say it again. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I smile back at her and finish off my iced tea, "you wanna take a walk on the beach after this?"

"Okay," she tells me, reaching for her drink.

A few minutes later, the waitress came back with my card and thanked us for dining with them.

And when we're exiting the restaurant, hand in hand, this is where the nerves kick in. I mean, the night is going well. Nothing has changed. But it's still kind of a big step. For me, at least. I'm throwing myself back into a relationship where there will now be a commitment between us. I'm now responsible for making someone happy in a certain sense. And it's not a lot of pressure, but it's just... I don't want this to change. I don't want it to crash and burn. I don't want her to be unhappy if I don't live up to her boyfriend standards, you know? We just never talked about it. We never talked about it potentially going to the next level. But I know this is what I want. I know I want to make her feel secure. We can't just keep dating. Well, we are going to keep dating, obviously but in a more serious sense. And I'm excited about it, but still, it's nerve wracking because I could be a shit boyfriend. I know I seem happier and I am, I am happy, but I don't totally have my life together. This divorce still gets to me. I still have shit going on in regards to that. Ad it's just... it's hard. And I don't think I'll ever fully be over it, but I'm trying. I'm trying to be better. I just don't know if I'll ever get there and she probably deserves better. But I want to try. I want to make her my girlfriend and see where this goes.

"Why'd you want to take a walk on the beach?" Gabriella asks as she's closing her cardigan up and rubbing her shoulders. I know she's cold.

And I feel slightly bad about it, but this beach, it's really the place where we had our first serious conversation and I knew she could be someone I'd like. And so, I wanted to come here and close off the night. "Sorry, I know it's cold."

She shook her head and looked over at me, "no, it's okay. I love the beach. Especially at night. Is this just a spur of the moment thing?"

"Sort of," I shrug, not wanting to seem like I planned too hard to ask her to be my girlfriend because, well, I'm sure that's lame. "Just something to do. It's not the most beautiful night, but oh well."

"It's always a beautiful night when I'm with you," she tells me, looks over at me and laughs, "how cheesy was that?"

I loved how we could be like this with each other. Cheesy, but then call each other out on it being cheesy. Like, it's a serious kind of cheesy but it a joking way but we still mean every word we say, you know? We just don't want to make it seem like we're in a fucking romance movie.

But she basically took the words right out of my mouth so I laughed right along with her. "I loved it."

She laughed and grabbed my arm and leaned her head against it, "thanks for dinner tonight, it was so good."

"You're welcome," I tell her, looking out into the ocean, knowing I should just get this over with. I should just ask her to be my girlfriend. Ask her to take this next step with me. "This has been good, right? These past few weeks?"

"What?" she looks up at me, stepping away a bit, but still has her arm around mine, "I mean, yeah, they've been great."

I stopped walking and turned to her. "So, why don't we make this official then?"

She turned also, looked me straight in the eye and after what felt like forever, she smiled and leaned forward and kissed me. She didn't say anything, she just kissed me. A couple of times. And so I think it's safe to say her answer is yes. "Yes. Absolutely."

"Good," I grab her by the waist and pull her in for another kiss, "I've been distracted all night, nervous as hell about your answer."

"Why?" she laughed as she backed up a bit, "you'd had to know I was going to say yes."

"I don't know," I shrug, "this is, this is way more real now and messing up now as opposed to two weeks ago... well, I just don't really want to do that."

It looks like she understands, but at the same time, it's such an asshole answer and I kind of hate myself for it. I hate how I basically just told her that yeah, there will be messing up on my end. But I hope there isn't. I don't want there to be. And I'm just praying nothing bad ever happens to us.

But then a small smile appears on her face and I know everything's going to be fine. "Don't worry so much, just be with me."

"I can do that," I tell her as I lean down and give her another kiss.

"This was a really good night," she tells me, grabbing my hand and leading me down the beach.

It definitely was. One for the books.


End file.
